How Not To Look Like Shit at a Funeral

[JemimaPyjamas]

It's not happened quite yet, but I may be losing a close family member very soon.

I'm upset now and look crap - think big puffy face, red eyes etc. I was wondering how to make myself look less awful when I have to actually see people...? I am hopeless at holding things in but don't want to look as if I've totally unravelled either! (Its a grandparent.)

Drink lots of water now, eat well and sleep well if you can. Get a facial fake tan mist to spray lightly on your face every other day, really makes a difference and make sure your eyebrows and nails are groomed. It will make you feel better.

I'm sorry you're losing your grandparent. I've lost 3 very close relatives in the past couple of years and I wanted to look nice for them at their funerals.

An ice cold face cloth on your face should help with puffiness too. You could even wet some and keep them in freezer bags in the freezer until you want to use them.

So sorry to hear this is happening for you. Definitely reduce puffiness using cold face cloths, cucumber, cold teabags etc. Get your outfit together now so you don't have to think about it when distressed. Have spare tights etc ready. If you can..and need to...get your hair done and eyelashes dyed. The more put together you feel, the easier it is to face people on the day. It may sound shallow but it does help. Tissues and sunglasses just in case you need a minute Good luck

Oh I'm in a place where nothing is open still so I didnt even think. Yes, go to a salon if you can get your hair done, eyebrow & eyelash tint, brows threaded or waxed and a manicure (either french or nude). That will all help you feel much more confident to face people.

Early nights, long baths, drink plenty of water and yes, a haircut/blow dry and/or nails if you’re feeling up to it. Look after yourself

Thank you all. Yes, need to drink water rather than wine! Can dye my own lashes etc, not sure what’s open here yet as Tier 3.
X

Start now on the self care. Calm your eyes down whenever you can, sleep as well as you can, listen to relaxing music. Some treatments along the lines of hair and nails will be relaxing.

Looking after yourself now will help you to feel better, and will mean that you start the day of the funeral looking less puffy so it won't get as bad, and although it might seem morbid, sorting out an outfit now will make it easier later. In grief you can't think straight.

And finally, do what you can but don't worry about how you'll look on the day. When it comes to it you won't care, and no-one else will either.

Obviously waterpeoof mascara!
Good fitting funeral outfit, all clean, ironed/laundered and ready down to shoes. Roots done if you regularly dye them.

Sorry to hear this

Try to eat food containing tryptophan if you're not vegan. It has a calming effect. Milk, tinned tuna and turkey are good sources.

I'm in the same position re elderly relative. Sending a hug. Waiting for the inevitable is hard.

Can you do some exercise? Not really a style and beauty tip directly, but it can calm your mind, and get your blood and hydration going where it's meant to be, instead of pretty much all in your face. Just a brisk 15 minutes will help you feel a bit better.

Treat yourself as if you're a very delicate thing: you are. Plenty of sleep (or rest, if you can't), good food, take your vitamins.

Your poorly relative would want you to treat yourself softly, wouldn't they?

So sorry for your loss.
I’ve never managed to hold it together at close family funerals. But am ok with that as feel (for me) cathartic. Appreciate everyone is different.
However, it has helped me mentally to wear smart, well-fitting clothing (coat and dress), and have tidy clean hair.
Second eyelash dye, or very waterproof mascara. Minimal makeup, or whatever won’t look bad when crying. Lots of lip balm.
New pack of big white hankies (rather than bits of dissolving tissue)
Sunglasses possible but prob not in combination with mask!
Try and eat something beforehand, to avoid the stress and emotion making you feel faint on an empty stomach.
Hope it goes ok x

Thanks everyone again. Its not actually happened yet, rather like the same situation as with @Eckhart by the sounds of it. I hope it doesn't sound weird asking in advance, but I'd rather get myself a head start if that makes sense.

I know what I'd wear as it's something they bought me, but the eyelash dying and drinking lots of water is a very good point! I tend to do lots of exercise anyway as I have a dog, but I agree that a run is an excellent stress reliever (and far healthier than chugging wine!)

Now off to Google tryptophan goods (no, I'm not vegan.)

Thanks again, xx

I’m sorry for your loss

This video by Lisa Eldridge has lots of great tips about looking good if you’ve been crying. It’s called meeting the ex but I think it would be good for a funeral.

To be honest I avoided eye make at my uncles funeral in may because crying really puts 'waterproof' eye makeup to the test! (Plus it was lockdown & my Eyeko waterproof mascara was dried up).

I wore a pretty black broderie Topshop dress that he would have liked with rose gold flats (didn't want to be struggling in heels when upset).

For my Grans funeral in 2018 I wore a short black lace dress & black knee high boots with opaques- she liked to see me dressed up. With a smart jacket.
So my outfit looked good but my face was probably a blotchy tearful mess as I was very upset.

Sorry to hear about your grandparent.. allow yourself time to be upset & have a good cry, then when you are ready I find putting a photo album of their best pics together helps & just basically talking about your memories of them.

Sorry wrong thread

@Florenzia I think you’ve posted on the wrong thread 😬

When ( not if ) you cry, Do Not Touch Your Eyes,

By all means, mop your cheeks and blow your nose, but leave the eye tears to dry up on their own.

I seem to cry v easily ( including at funerals of people whom I have never even met - and so much so at my own wedding that there had to be a considerable pause while I found a voice for the vows )

Over time I have found that the less you touch crying eyes, the less red they will become.

Sorry for your loss

A hat. Essential.