Help finding a black tie dress for DM

[TheBumbleNums]

I posted on here a couple of weeks ago about my sister’s up-coming wedding (hopefully the end of the next year) and that it’s black tie themed.

I need some help finding DM something to wear! She loves clothes shopping but invariably takes back about 99% of her purchases. It took her about a year to find anything she liked for my wedding, after many shopping trips and many purchases.

She keeps looking at things that my sister describes as ‘summer garden party wedding’ rather than black tie. She’s a very traditional Mother of the Bride, think matching dress, jacket and hat type thing. It’s made harder because mother of the groom is tall, slender and glamorous and likely to wear some sort of show stopper. I know my mum will be comparing herself all day (she’s already made several comments about how lovely and slim the groom’s mother is)

It’s hard for her because (and I’m saying this with love) she is short and looks like a barrel with legs. She wouldn’t wear anything long or clingy, anything with ruffles is out. It must have a sleeve (or something that she can wear a wrap/cardi over).

I have absolutely no idea what sort of style to suggest to her. Does anyone have any ideas? I want her to look and feel great on the day, whilst also embracing the black tie theme.

Would you consider a local dressmaker?
For. My sons wedding i could not find anything as only 5 ft and size 16. Searched the shops to no avail selection was awful.Had my dream dtess made for 300
It was stunning it was me
Worth looking into

I think Judi Dench always looks stunning, she often rocks a shalwar kameez/long tunic look often with a pashmina slung casually over a shoulder...if your mum needs something ‘eveningy’ to be properly black tie, she could look amazing in this style.

@MissFritton65

Unfortunately I think you have a mismatch; black tie is evening dress which certainly isn't MOB dress/coat/hat. If all the men are wearing evening dress as the black tie suggests, women shouldn't wear a hat and coat combination. Sorry to sound negative but you need to clarify what your sister means with the theme as your mum could look totally "wrong"

It’s tux’s for the men and cocktail dresses for the ladies. That’s sort of the problem, my sister is pretty insistent that our mum wears black tie but it’s is so far out of her style and comfort zone I think she will really struggle! That’s why I’m starting to have a look now for ideas for her and thought lovely style and beauty MNers would be able to help!

Surely "black tie" signifies floor length, not cocktail. None of the cocktail length dresses people have posted so far are "black tie" to me. Black tie means ballgown.

My vote is for an Asian style kaftan like the fabulous Judi's, fwiw. Would pass for black tie and look better than the MOB style outfits. I second the advice to look at older women's red carpet style and pick something trousers-based.

White tie means ballgown, black tie is cocktail, OP is correct

Chesca do dresses which are forgiving on the more mature figure

chescadirect.co.uk/products/lavender-chiffon-dress

The dress is quite plain but has a chiffon jacket which covers the arms.

I used to have a beautifully tailored black tie suit - the jacket had a satin collar and there were thin satin stripes down the side of each trouser leg.

@needalittletimetowakeup

White tie means ballgown, black tie is cocktail, OP is correct

I sit corrected, thank you. I never can keep those two straight

My DM went to see a professional stylist before my wedding. A bit excessive, possibly.

But the stylist helped her figure out what to do with her hair, nails, skin routine and make up style for the day, shoes. And got a whole assortment of outfits for her to try on with stylist there to give advice.
It was pretty expensive. But she purchased 3 outfits that she now rotates for events / occasions. And generally looks much more 'put together'.
Can't remember the lady's name but was based in Kensington and was lovely - apparently!

She now also has a completely different hairstyle and colour which looks so much better. And really improved her look on the day

I go to a lot of black tie events in the West End clubs and as you can imagine there are a lot of us "older larger ladies" there. The most elegant usually wear an evening coat in a fabulous fabric over a simple plain top and palazzo trousers. They also tend to look a bit more youthful than those in more traditional cocktail dresses (and palazzo pants hide chunky calves like mine...) Although probably out of budget this is the sort of thing:-

favourbrook.com/collections/womenswear/products/dark-green-sofia-silk-velvet-long-swing-coat

A good local tailor or dressmaker could make something similar up in an embroidered silk for about £600 perhaps a bit less if it was in a plain dupion in a stunning colour. (Liberty do a stunning range of printed silks at about £55 a metre although they are a bit lightweight so would require a decent lining.)

This is a cheaper option but not tailored to fit as Favourbrook would be.

www.shibumistyle.com/collections/mid-length-coats/products/grace-coat-in-african-cobalt

Have you looked at Shibumi? Beautiful jackets and coats in plain or embroidered silk. Lovely colours..

What about a coat dress? they are easy to wear and look great with the right accessories

www.suzannah.com/products/the-graceful-hunter-coat-dress-pink

This is very festive
www.shibumistyle.com/collections/mid-length-coats/products/avani-coat-in-royal