Help! My hair has gone rogue...

[boilingkettle]

Need advice. My hair is WILD at the minute and has been for months. Want to try and get it sorted but don’t know how. Have tried two different hairdressers but they weren’t really interested in listening to my problem and just wanted to do olaplex and a cut but it didn’t help.
Here’s the issue - when I wash it, it flops forward onto my face and is too soft (like very well conditioned hair even if I haven’t used conditioner) , but if I leave it a couple of days before washing, it gets greasy at the roots. Also, when I wake up in the morning, it sticks up and out off my head and seems to have got shorter overnight. Worst bed head ever!
It’s currently cut into a chin length bob but in the mornings can be up round my ears.
Side note - I was very ill last year and lost about 70% of my long healthy hair due to the illness and low ferritin levels. So I think the bulk of what I now have is virgin hair. And it grew back curlier than it used to be, but it’s not curly all over. Pretty flat on the top but there’s a strong ringlet curl behind my ear for example and the underside is curly.
It’s a mess and I’m resorting to hair bands and half ponytails with what I can scrape back. I’m 46 but don’t feel it and just would like to look like I haven’t just been dragged through a hedge.
What do I do????? Who can help? Is a hairdresser going to be able to fix this or do I need to see a different beauty professional I’m not aware of?

A cut isn't going to sort it out for you. You need to learn how to style it. Someone who has experience with curly hair might be along in a minute to give you a few pointers how to deal with it. I have soft baby fine hair that flops around and needs fixing with some mousse and putty every time its washed.

I have a feeling I’m going to have to learn about products aren’t I? My problem is I find putty makes my hair feel like I’ve got polyfilla in it, gel makes it sticky, and serums make it greasy. I need help, I can’t afford to buy everything in the hair-styling aisle to try it out. Feel like buying a good wig and shaving this mess off, but maybe in a few months when there’s a bit more length, things might improve?

I'm wondering if your hair was a bit longer, would a fairly loose perm even things out a bit, give it a more 'regular' look?

Try putting a silk cover over your hair when you sleep. Or put it in braids and use small clips for the shorter bits of hair. Hope that helps.

I'm wondering whether hair extensions might help give it more weight.

Could you post a photo? You could blank the face out.

Try mousse - you can get different varieties cheap from anywhere really, it provides a limited amount of hold, but you can brush it out easily and it doesn't clog your hair up like gel does. You can try it on wet or dry hair, to dry curly or straighter.

Also do you style at all? You could try French plaiting with damp hair (and the mousse!) before bed, so long as you aren't a tosser and turner it might help corral it into waves. Or blow dry using a round brush if you can be bothered with that.

Chin length bobs are high maintenance on hair with curly tendencies.

The bad news is.. You're going to have to put the work in styling it every morning. I would wash and straighten it with GHDs. Unfortunately that involves getting up earlier. If it's only curly in certain areas I don't think encouraging a curl with mousse is going to work.

I sympathise; my hair is in parts straight and in parts curly and also gets greasy after a day. It's hard work. I find longer hair easier as it looks better tied up.

Your other alternatives are a permanent straightening treatment (keratin blow dry) or a very short cut. Be very wary of perms. Let's not forget the 80's.

Sorry I disappeared for a few days there. I have been researching the keratin - can anyone share their experiences of having it done? I was wondering if a treatment would keep it looking a bit smoother until I have enough length to pull it down?

I've had a couple of keratin based treatments in the past, but never felt I got what I was hoping for. My hair is longer and wavy though.

Look up Curly Girl. If you encourage the curl it may even out and give you better control.