Accepting my body will never be the same... what can I wear to make the most of it?

[Ermmmmmm]

Hello,

I have a 2 year old and a 3 month old... and although I know it's early days but I'm pretty certain there are a lot of my clothes I will never fit into again.

What did you find worked for you cut and style wise after having kids?

I'm 5'11" - long legs, short frame. Currently size 14 (and out of my usual proportions - bigger hips, bigger boobs). I feel a bit stuck in a rut and need new "rule book" as it were for what works for me.

TIA

Your figure sounds lovely.
Long legs and hourglass! I wish I were that tall!

High waisted skinny jeans, still wear maternal skinny jeans if necessary for a few more months. Slightly cropped tops, nothing that shows skin but short enough to show jeans underneath. Blazer of leather jacket to finish off. You have to show off your waist.

Those long legs would be my focal point so I would probably wear lots of tights and ankle boots over the winter. High waisted skirt with tight turtle neck top. Big long coat to keep warm

High boots, cream/stone colour jeans/trousers, skim fit jumper (cream, navy, orange tone) then a blazer or Barbouresque top to finish off. Country chic.

Essentially anything that helps to show off the waist would look great with your new body shape

Do you have a waist atm OP? I certainly didn’t at 3 months pp

FWIW I felt exactly the same - I have long skinny legs and arms (apple shape) and with the jacked up breastfeeding boobs, hips that seemed to get wider and a waist/tummy that seemed resistant to retracting to its normal size I felt like a non-purple version of violet Beauregard most days - a sphere with little legs sticking out the bottom. My kids are now 3.5 and 1.5 and am slowly starting to feel/look more normal. Things that helped me:

• acknowledge that things WILL change for the better eventually - you’re only 3 months pp! Also once you’ve stopped breastfeeding (if you are doing so) - the pumped up boobs combined with (at least for me) the ravenous bfing hunger & predilection for CARBS means you’re just not going to deflate properly until you stop. (I didn’t have any bfing gap between kids 1&2 and I didn’t believe it but my god it’s made a huge difference stopping with no 2)

• do Pilates (proper pilates) this will start to strengthen and tighten your core and “pull” your hip joints back together. I still have loose joints post birth and honestly my hips look an inch or two wider if I don’t do Pilates for a week

• invest in a bra that actually fits. This is very difficult but worth it.

• sell some stuff on eBay/get rid of some things. I realised I was carting around a load of clothes that were actually just ok (boring jumpers, trousers etc) in not great condition that actually even if I got back to “normal” I probably wouldn’t choose to wear. I sold the stuff that was saleable (this is very cathartic) and donated to charity/textile recycling the stuff that wasn’t.

• after you’ve done that. remove the clothes you LOVE but just don’t fit and box them up. Come back to them in a full year and try them again. Don’t have them hanging in a cupboard reminding you every day that you don’t fit into them and taking up valuable wardrobe space. After a couple of years if they still don’t fit you can sell them as per the above.

• figure out what your transition style will be and buy a couple of lovely key items (hopefully with money generated by selling your old things) - for me I had to figure out how to dress to show off my boobs for the first time ever. So bought a couple of lovely silk shirts and silk/cashmere v neck t shirts and wore them with long line blazers and skinny jeans. I felt better in an “outfit” and it stopped me from constantly trying different silhouettes. Also good quality clothes just make you feel better about yourself, they really do.

• constantly reminded myself that the way you look in photos is not the same as real life (many many pics of me looking like I had 5 chins sitting atop a sack of potatoes ). I just didn’t look at any photos of myself for a year and now I look back on them as lovely pics of a post partum woman.

Sorry that was an essay! I do really feel for you though OP - be kind to yourself and give it time

Hi both! Thank you so much for your replies.

@stealthbanana haha I definitely don't have a waist yet. What you've described is exactly how I feel!

Some really good tips there. I'm definitely going to put certain clothes away as psychologically I keep thinking "I will get into that" but then I try them on and I just look weird/big/frumpy in them. Revisiting in a year would be much wiser.

And yes, i think a few key pieces would help me feel better, I'm just living in my maternity leggings and baggy jumpers at the mo, which are comfy and practical but when it's only outfit you wear... it's made feel a bit lost with my appearance.

Aw that's lovely about seeing pics of yourself post baby like that. I find myself looking at pics of myself pre-children and think "god I look gorgeous I can't believe I thought I had a tummy on me" 😂

Definitely NOT high waisted jeans and crop or short tops that a PP suggested. Long legs and short torso absolutely should not wear this combo as it will further emphasise the short body. Regardless of fashion, the aim is to balance out body proportion not throw it even further into an unbalanced proportion. With no idea if your preferred style, it's hard to comment but a 14 5'11" sounds pretty good. It's a matter of adjusting the hips and boobs.

Haha @damnthatanxiety as a short waisted person I also had a visceral reaction to the idea of wearing high waisted jeans with a crop top. Not my preferred style at the best of times!

OP, best of luck. Do be kind to yourself, it’s a big thing your body has just done and it will definitely take time.

I am 5’11” with long legs and short torso so I am interested in the recommendations.

3 months pp is no time at all. I felt like that though, so I started to exercise (running) and I feel amazing for it.