Stuck in a rut working from home

[Littlemiss74]

I’ve been WFH since March and am starting to feel I’ve let myself go. Haven’t worn my nice work clothes all year, not bothered with make up etc. I had my hair highlighted in the summer which looked nice but now it is straw like and straggly. I never spend the time drying or styling it properly, My ghd’s feel like they’re dragging when I try and use them - is this because hair is dry?

It’s been a difficult year in a number of ways, (as it has been for everyone) and I feel like I literally just get through each day one at a time. I have struggled with anxiety, I’ve been comfort eating which has lead to me putting on a little weight. I was walking loads in lockdown but since school went back I haven’t done any exercise and I feel unfit & slobbish. My back hurts from working at home & not moving enough. I feel so stiff & unfit and yet can’t find the motivation to do anything about it.

My nails are shockingly bad. I’ve bitten them terribly due to anxiety. I can’t seem to stop but it looks dreadful.

My diet needs improving, I need to eat more fruit. I’ve become lazy at planning healthy snacks and have gone for the convenience options.

I live in leggings and tshirts, which are comfortable but I feel slobbish. I would like some clothes to wear at home that make me feel nice but I have no idea what to wear. I’m 5’3” size 12, was a pear shape but feel my waist is slowly disappearing!

I realise this sounds like a big long moan but I’ve come to ask if anyone has felt the same way during this strange year and have you managed to improve things? It just feels like groundhog day every day to me and I want to make changes to feel better about myself but don’t know where to start. There is a long winter ahead with no sign of returning to the office anytime soon so I feel I need to start looking after myself a bit better for my state of mind. Thanks for any advice/tips.

I can relate to how your feeling. I don't WFH but have had times of my life where I've felt like this for other reasons.

I've come to realise that for me routine is important so even on days off I have to be up, showered, dressed by a certain time or I feel lethargic and unmotivated.

I think the healthy eating/getting out for a walk would have the biggest change especially to your MH. Even if you don't manage the healthy eating getting outside for half an hour can really lift your mood which will have a positive effect on everything else.

You could also agree to set aside half an hour every night/2nd night and use it for self care. Put on a lovely hair mask, do your nails or just spend the time doing something you love.

For me small changes lead on to bigger changes.
Don't be hard on yourself or talk nasty to yourself. The kinder you are the more you will feel that your worth investing your time in.

Following for ideas as I feel exactly the same OP!

I feel exactly the same, OP. Been WFH since March and no sign of office reopening. I am living in jeans and leggings. Haven't been to hairdresser at all, which I now regret as cases are really high again here. I would also normally go for eyebrow and lip wax about every 6 weeks, so I feel and look hideous! Like you, in the Spring and Summer I spent any free time walking, so I did feel quite physically fit. Now my DC and DH are back at work and school, it is too easy to just work through lunch and until it is too dark to walk in the evening. I have just started to be more sensible with my diet, but definitely stuck in a rut style and beauty wise. Feel like I have aged so much the last few months. I don't know if that is from the pressure of work or just that I now get to look at my aging face on Zoom every day.

I started doing the Joe Wicks 90 day plan. It sorted out my diet, and the exercise has energised me. I'm less lethargic and my mental health has improved. I don't wfh, but have a stressful job as a senior doctor in a hospital. This has definitely helped. My self confidence has improved as I feel fitter and look better.

Thank you all, it is nice to know others are feeling similar, although not nice for you.
@willowsmumsy how does the plan work? Do you pay for 90 days? Is it quite easy to follow? I am rubbish at cooking so anything too complicated I avoid! I do feel like some sort of plan would be good though. Do you do the exercises at home?

Your hair has been colour damaged by the sounds of things. I would avoid the straighteners completely. Avoid the hair dryer too if you can. Use a conditioning treatment once a week, be gentle with brushing and use a leave in conditioner or detangling spray. You could also try hair oils.

Personally I would focus on making the softer home clothes more luxurious, not dressing in office clothes at home. Instead of leggings, one pieces like a jumpsuit, dungarees or a mid length dress in a soft fabric. Prints are great for adding contrast, and colour is always great for making skin look brighter and it makes me feel more cheerful I think it does most people.

Use some really lovely bath products, upgrade your moisturiser, wear some perfume and have a lipstick in your pocket in case you need to do an impromptu zoom call. Put a bit of mascara on in the morning, or a bit of blusher, just something to brighten you up and for you to feel more done. Doesn't have to take long!

If you can I would get a home kit to do gel nails to make them un-biteable and as an investment in yourself so you don't want to bite them

The plan includes recipe suggestions which are very easy. There is also access to HIIT workouts. You have the plan emailed in cycles of 30 days and follow the meal and exercise. It's very easy but does require planning your meals. I've found most are family friendly plus you have guidance on how to create tour own recipes which amends any family favourites

What's your working area? I have made my nice with plants and keep hanscream, tinted lip balm there.

Just keep things simple. A nice water bottle or glass for drinking water. Same with herbal teas to hydrate. I don't really wear make up but do use a trasluscant powder and mascara, and tinted lip blam.

I cleared out my wardrobe and am happy in jeans, dungarees, jumper dresses while working from home but I put my jewelery on.

I dry my hair twice a week in the evenings and some days it is just a messy bun. But I like messy buns. Can you get some of yours chopped off and stay away from the GHDs? I use Olaplex 3 which is great but expensive.

I've stopped walking at lunch, just can't be bothered and that's what gets me as I barely do any steps and I know if makes me feel more tired. I'm thinking even walking around the block is better than nothing.

@IceniWarrior has mentioned working environment and I think that’s a really good point. I don’t have a separate office and have to make do with a fold up table in my lounge that gets put away every evening. It’s so hard to get into a professional mindset when I feel like I’m just vegetating at home. Doesn’t help that I keep grazing all day too (pregnant).

I find sweater dresses great this time of year whether WFH or in office
Soft comfortable warm and still smart
Try and have regular breaks, a proper lunch and some fresh air every day
Maybe try a deep hair conditioning treatment

I could have written pretty much exactly this back in August.

I gave up drinking during the week, and had a full month off in Sept. I'd got into a bad habit of drinking everyday and wasn't good for me.

I try to get out everyday during the day. (But I don't and I really want to so next week I'll do it!) Walk to shops, take dog for walk round block. Something away from desk. And also arranged a couple of "social" things - coffee with a friend during day, lunch with DH, and a couple of evenings either zoom catch ups or meet a friend. I've been missing social side of work a lot.

Fitness wise was slugglish and finding losing flexibility and was incredibly unfit. Signed up for FIIT app - I did the 2 weeks free and one of their plans and when knew I would use it continued. I signed up for quarterly plan but they do monthly or annual too. I do a plan which gives me 3 or 4 classes to do a week, and then sometimes I do another if I'm feeling like it. I've definitely improved my fitness and this is after several years of doing nothing. Was struggling with beginner level when started and now I struggle with intermediate! I like it as it's only 25 mins commitment and can do from living room.

I started putting on make up every day - subtle but makes me feel better. I use tinted moisturiser instead of foundation but other than that it's full make up. Only takes me a few mins and I feel better. Also perfume and jewellery.

Clothes - have "elevated" my look - after a summer of wearing shorst and a t shirt. Went through my wardrobe at change of season and pulled everything out. Got rid of the stuff that didn't work/fit and bought a few extra shirts with nicer fabrics/collars, a pair of jeans, pair of coated jeans and a pair of smart jogger type bottoms. (All could be worn to go out to shops or even out for an evening) Also a few jumpers/tops. Laid out a few "outfits" so I could wear a few things in multiple different ways with my current and new stuff. Also looked at jewellery and belts etc and saw what went with what. It was more fun than I expected. I did buy a couple of things but I needed to so I don't feel bad even though just me will see it. I definitely feel more "in the zone" as a result.

Make a small change to start and be kind to yourself. I'd say get your hair done again - when it's in better condition I bet you'll feel happier. And some fresh air and a walk to get moving. (For me make up and giving up alcohol was where I started and gave me the boost to move onto exercise and smarter clothes.)

Thank you all for the suggestions. I have been having a good read through them to see what I can do.
I have been leaving my hair to dry naturally for a while now as I am just at home. However this is not a good look for me as I then can’t style it and it looks frizzy & a mess. I am wondering if I should have a couple of inches cut off. It’s annoying because when I do take the time to blowdry & style it it looks lovely longer but it is thick and so this takes ages and I just don’t have time in the mornings & evenings I’m knackered. I would say 80% of time it’s a mess as I just don’t have the incentive to do it properly when I’m just wfh. I have felt a bit embarrassed on school run recently though!

@BoudiccasBoudoir I love your idea of softer home clothes. I haven’t been wearing my work clothes at home but I have been wearing an awful lot of mismatched casual outfits! For some reason hardly any of my home clothes go together. I have been wearing leggings but don’t know what to wear on top half and chucking a tshirt on just doesn’t look nice or in any way flattering. I’m 45 and don’t know where to look any more for clothes. Could anyone suggest anything please? I just want to look nice and feel nice in casual clothes.

I always wear quick but nice make up for work but I haven’t bothered at all whilst being at home. I look tired without it so I think I am going to make an effort to start doing this again. It’s amazing what a bit of make up can do!

Thank you @willowsmumsy I will have a look at the plan although I am rubbish at meal planning so not sure how I’ll get on with it!

@IceniWarrior I’m lucky to have the spare room to use for work however it is also a dumping ground! I would like to get this tidied up & make it nice as you say. What does Olpaplex do?

@JaceLancs where do you get your sweater dresses and what do you wear with them, leggings? I really have no clue anymore.

@customerisqueen thank you could you suggest anywhere for clothes please especially the jogger type? I had a pair from Sainsburys that make me look like a sack of spuds😄 I think I might get a haircut even though I love my hair long when styled which is hardly ever.

@Littlemiss74
I have a black one from all saints
Navy, grey and dark purple from phase eight
A couple of stripy ones from Ralph Lauren
I’ve also had them from jaeger and mint velvet
I occasionally find them in tkmaxx, Sainsbury’s and M n S

So you already know you need to ditch the joggers that make you feel like a sack of potatoes right? Mine might too but I don't think that I they don't feel that way!! Get rid!

Are you on insta? See if you can find a few people to follow for inspiration. I follow Erica Davies - love her philosophy. Doesmybumlook40. Trinny Woodall (not the make up one) Backofthewardrobe70. Emilyinnessylist. Instyle.by.helen. Wearethestars. I found it helpful to see how could get things together. And gave me a bit of insight to wearing what I like rather .

I got my joggers from hush ... they are the green twill ones rather than lounge wear. Crew and next for some jeans. Massimo Dutti for a couple of tops. H&M and Zara .

Olaplex treats colour damage hair. Helped my dry frizz a lot but I also had it cut to above shoulder and have been growing it back. Now below shoulder. Looking at Babyliss big hair for Christmas.

I've tidied my spare room office and made it a lovely space. Replaced the 25 year old orange pine bed for a nice IKEA wooden sofa bed and styled it. Lots of plants etc.

I've started just shaping my nails with clear varnish.

When I cleared out my wardrobe I got rid of my scruffy clothes. I do think jumper dresses are the way to go but I find them hard to find at under 5 foot. La Redoute had some. And Next. Bung on some ankle or knee high boots when going out. I wear heat holder tights!

I need to get out each day. I find I'm working longer with no breaks and my eyesight is diving. I plan to keep wellies by my back door and do a few bits in the garden on my breaks.

Realise I am lucky with the spare room, garden and finances. Feel I need to add this tag line.

A little update - yesterday I washed my hair & then dried it using my Babyliss big hair. It looked so much better than when I just leave it to dry naturally. It looked nice & it made me feel nicer. The only thing is it took half an hour! This is why I rarely bother as on a school/work morning I don’t have time to spend that long on my hair. I guess I need to look at doing it at another time.

I’m going to sort my winter clothes today.

Yoga.

Helps the bad back, encourages a sense of self care and well being. Great for your shape - I've been doing 30 mins 3 times per week since April and I have legs/butt and arms like I haven't had since my twenties (I'm nearly 48). I use an app called Asana Rebel because their workouts are a bit more cardio/HIIT and less 'ommmm' which suits me.

@Littlemiss74 that's great! You've had some fab suggestions and I hope you feel better soon. I've had a similar experience in that since 8 years ago my whole life changed so that I now rarely leave the house ( I now have a very sick DD), so since Boxing Day I have left the house 11 times and 10 of those were for hospital/medical appointments. The first few years were shit and I was so exhausted and depressed just getting through each really tough day. In 2015 after 7 months living in hospital/nursing home with DD I decided I had to do something. I started daily yoga with Adrienne and began to wear nicer clothes. I lost a bit of comfort eating weight and every day I wear something that makes me feel good ( pretty much). I listen to audiobooks, read, knit, chat to people via messenger ( I haven't seen a friend socially since 2014) and try just to have one nice thing a day. I treat myself to flowers delivered once a fortnight from a local florist, I buy decent shower gel to make me feel nice, I buy good ground coffee and have one cappuccino a day.

I am so much better mentally since. Just take baby steps

What's your hair like, OP? Mine is long and dry from colour damage. If I let it air dry 'down' it just turns into a frizzy wavy mess. So when it's damp I brush through leave in conditioner and put into a smart, low bun. (No technique required just twist and bobble).
I also watched some videos and learned how how French and Dutch plait my hair. Again if I do it damp it looks smart and is so much quicker than drying and straightening.

if you are struggling with anxiety and back problems what about trying yoga.....best in a class but it that isnt feasible there are a lot of online videos.

if you work from home you need a decent chair and desk arrangement.

I wash my hair and leave it to dry while I do breakfast etc, then I spend 10 minutes drying and styling it when it's almost dry. Or I do it the night before.

I'd love Dutch braids but my hair is very fine.

This thread has been helpful for me too. I don't think I can ditch my joggers but just did a workout to get motivated and noted down yoga exercise and other app exercise.
I find playing chilled background music helps when working and appreciating I can WFH although miss office at times.

Yes and I’ve taken myself in hand to sort it! This is what I’m doing:
Gel manicure every month and making sure lots of hand cream and nail oil in between.
Make sure I’m cleansing and using under eye cream every day
No more ‘lounge wear’ or yoga style joggers during the day, jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt
Lost 10lb lockdown weight, stopped buying biscuits and chocolates for a bit.
Taking time to move about more and short walk at lunchtime when I can.

Oh and making an effort to start wearing jewellery and perfume again.

I do the same as iceniWarrior and leave my hair to mostly dry before styling it. Put heat proectectpr in before I go get breakfast , cup of tea maybe even my first few emails. Then style it. Mine lasts 2 days, and 3 or 4 if I do messy bun on day 3 and dry shampoo and a quick restyle using straightens. My hair really think and not possible to just leave it.

Lots of good ideas on this thread - I'm going to revamp my work space. Just realised it's become a dumping ground and I'm going to tidy up and put some favourite things and some plants in there too