I really need to be a person who doesn't was my hair everyday. Help me!

[madderose]

I am 36 and for as long as I can remember I have showered every morning and washed and blow dried my hair. It is thick, long bob, in good condition but looks oily at the roots after a day.

My circumstances have changed recently and I have a v long commute to work, and I really need to save time on a morning. But how do I do it?

I could wash the night before and blow dry, but then if I leave my hair loose at night it will be frazzled when I wake up. If I tie it up it then has a kink- is there some kind of bobble I need to avoid that?

What about dry shampoo? It makes my hair look powdery? Am I doing it wrong??

If I sleep on it it also has a weird fluffy and unruly texture in the morning- I just prefer the slippery smooth texture when it's been washed and blow dried I suppose.

I'm terrible at anything like french plaits stuff like that, even tho I have watched a million you tube tutorials. I cant even do a nice pony tail.

So I need your help, where am I going wrong? Do I really just need to get up at 5.30 to wash and blow dry?

I wash my hair 2-3 times a week. If your hair is used to being washed every day, there will unfortunately be a greasy phase while it gets used to less frequent washing.

To address oily roots the next day, try to use a bit less conditioner, and only use it on the ends.

Dry shampoo.. you need a tiny amount of dry shampoo on the roots only, and a lot of rubbing in with your finger tips, and then brush out.

Dry shampoo before bed should address the oily roots. You will have to train your hair to need to be washed less. Mine is now fine to be washed every couple of weeks, with a conditioner only wash in-between.

You might want to look into clarifying shampoos, I too have oily roots and dry hair combo that is mostly due to product buildup.

Just tie it up .. who wants to get up that early and wash their hair !

Wash your hair the night before and when dry wrap it in a silk scarf or get a silk pillow case and It will stop the frizz.

Batiste do dry shampoo to colour match your hair. It’s a game changer.

Your hair weirdly adapts to how often you wash it. Wash it more often, it will get greasier quicker. Leave it for longer between washes and it won't be so greasy. I can't imagine washing and blow drying my hair every day. I salute your dedication to being well groomed. I wash mine 2 to 3 times a week.
Can you try leaving it a bit longer over a weekend or a holiday when you don't have to go anywhere? Put your hair up in a ponytail if it's long enough. Wear a hair band or a hat. Try leaving it for a couple of days. It will be really greasy the first time you do it but your scalp should start to regulate oil production quite quickly.
A lot of people swear by dry shampoo but it makes my scalp itchy.

Wash it the night before and use straighteners in the morning with a quick spray of straightening lotion. Takes me about 4 minutes. You can do a quick wash of your smelly bits in the morning if you get hot in the nights or don't feel fresh. I can wash, hair straighten, breakfast, and we out of the house in 1/2 an hour. I don't wear makeup tho, but will put some on in the car park, around 5 minutes.

I trained my hair out of daily washes through the initial covid restrictions and it is indeed a pain to do. My hair used to be slightly greasy by nightime when I washed daily. Now it only has a slight greasy sheen the next day but feels clean. I use dry shampoo and loose up do or bandanas help to hide it. I don't use conditioner though as no matter how little I use it makes my hair limp.

If I am not going out or needing to be presentable for a few days I will just wash my hair with water after a few days or every other day.

Dry shampoo, up do and a little back combing to give volume.

Agree with the advice only to condition the very ends of your hair.

I use a clarifying shampoo every other wash and can go 5 days before it looks greasy. I do mine the night before and wrap my head in a silk scarf turban style

I used to be like you op! I now leave a gap of two days between washes. So I did it Saturday, I'll do it today, and next on Friday.

Things I changed - grew it longer into a style that doesn't need blow-drying. I use straighteners to tidy and wave it. Constantly brushing and preening a 'style' will make it oilier.

Went lighter - I'm now practically blonde which seems way more forgiving than dark for showing grease/dirt.

And like others said you just have to stop. Try every other day and see how you do.

Oh god i feel your pain. I hate washing my hair - I have loads of it, its really time consuming and drying / styling it makes me so hot and grumpy.

I only wash it twice a week. Tips to help - dry shampoo, - i put some in before bed and more in the morning if needed, L'Oreal clay shampoo for greasy roots and dry ends really works on my hair, i NEVER condition - i read somewhere that its best not to condition if you want to get to get a slightly messy boho look which is what i prefer anyway. Highlights / coloured hair also helps as its dries your hair out a bit so it needs washing less often.

Would you consider growing your hair longer? I had a longish bob for years and loved it, but it only ever looked nice when I’d washed and dried it. Now I’ve long long hair (just above my bra strap at the back) and it’s amazing how much more forgiving it is! Easier to tie up, can be scrunched or straightened, looks fine when it’s a bit rumpled the day after a wash...

That’s meant to say “now I’ve got long hair”. It’s not long-long. Just long. :-)

Another vote for a silk pillowcase to stop the frizz, well, two, so one is in the wash.

Grow it a big longer so you can throw it into a messy bun/pony tail/half up half down.

Also dry shampoo the night before is a good shout.

Thanks for all the advice I have received in this.

Have started to wash every other day and going to try dry shampoo the night before.

A question re straighteners.....I haven't used mine for ages cos I'm over the poker straight hair look I had in my early 20s.....in fact I don't know where they are and probably need some new ones....any recommendations? And also, I don't really like that poker straight look.....I'm just using them to sort of smooth things over right?

I was the same until i used lee stafford keep it clean, i wash every other day and use his dry shampoo from the collection. I put it on before bed the night before no wash day, game changer for me

I have a bob and can get about 4 days + out of it (ive really worked up to this, clarifying shampoo, less conditioner, a good blow dry when I do wash it). Dry shampoo, root volumising powder and a quick blast of the Revlon one step dryer in the morning, less than 1 minute for my whole head. Gives root volume and smoothes.
Straighteners make it look lank. This makes it look polished.

Look at your shampoo and conditioner. Lots of silicones leave a coating on your hair that takes a strong/harsh shampoo to remove it. The harshness of the shampoo causes your scalp to produce oil to compensate and your vicious circle is born.
I'd look at milder shampoos and less silicone heavy conditioners.
It always takes a while to ween yourself to a new hair regime but you can change it.
Don't jump straight to SLS free shampoo and silicone free conditioner as you probably won't like it and will give up and go back to your normal.
Also look at your styling products, many make your hair look fab but just dry it out.

OP - I'm reading your thread with interest; I've washed my hair every day since I was a teenager and I find it a real pain. I'm currently WFH, but even with more time each day, the whole shower/hair wash/blow dry morning thing still feels like a mill stone round my neck! I have quite oily skin, and therefore an oily scalp and I've tried EVERYTHING to avoid having to wash it every day.

I often try to avoid washing my hair on Sundays, if we're not doing much, and whilst dry shampoo helps a little, my hair looks pretty dire by the end of the day. So I really hope you find something that works, I shall be watching with interest!!

Madderose,
In some magazine interviews, people are asked "what would you tell you younger self?"
Whenever I see that question, I think to myself that I would tell the younger me there was no need to get up at 5:20am every work morning to wash and blow dry my hair before going to work!!
When I look back at photos of my long sleek bob, it doesn't even look that nice.

If I could have that time again it would be

day 1 washed and blow dried
day 2 dry shampoo (funnily enough, I now much prefer my hair on the second day after using dry shampoo)
day 3 pony tail.

Try it huh?

Try using conditioner before you shampoo - sounds odd, works for me.

In regards to straighteners, I’m the same as you in that I don’t like the poker straight look as I find it too severe. My straighteners died a few weeks ago and I bought a straightening brush from Amazon instead for around £20. I love it, so much more natural looking than straighteners. It straightens and smooths frizz so hair looks straight but not poker straight or flat. Just makes my wavy hair look like it’s naturally straight, rather than looking like I’ve straightened it within an inch of its life. Super quick to use too