Postpartum body- total style rut

[LetTheBirdsSing]

Hi, I had baby number two 6 months ago and I’m really struggling with confidence with my body. Not in a particularly happy place right now and would really like to feel a bit better about the way I look.

I’m still able to just about squeeze into my old clothes so I’m still vaguely the same clothes size but I’ve got a fair amount of flab around my stomach area so I’m struggling with old clothes...my stomach spills over trousers now even if I can still get into them. I used to have an hourglass figure whereas my waist has pretty much disappeared. Have enormous boobs right now which don’t look great as I’m wearing nursing bras and have tried many but none of them give a nice shape (I think I need underwire to haul them up into a half decent shape ) so my torso just feels like a giant rectangle. I have legs that are on the chunky side and I’m a bit cankle-y.

Long term I would like to get myself fitter, eat less so that I can lose some weight....but right now I’m up all night with a baby and SAHM to two little ones so realistically it’s just not happening right now and I need to try to dress better for the body that I have.

Any suggestions, wise style Mumsnetters??? I would quite like to get some chunky Chelsea boots to wear with jeans. I feel like the chunk would balance out my not so delicate legs. Good idea or not? Also, I’ve been wearing baggy tops because I’m not comfortable about the size of my mid section but I feel like I’m just making myself look bigger. Any suggestions anyone?

Hi OP,
I have no advice I am afraid but wanted to offer some moral support as I am in a simile position. My 2nd is only 3 weeks old but my boobs are huge so even when I do start to return towards my normal size I will still look huge! I have some underwired nursing bras but they still give a weird shape!!
Hopefully someone can give us some advice! x

Oh I wish I had the answers to this!! I had baby number two 8 months ago and I'm still in the same boat! I have been trying to make more of an effort, haven't exactly found the answer clothes wise yet and I fear I won't until I have a body shape somewhat resembling my previous shape.

I have started to force myself to exercise, and am trying to eat better but it's HARD when you're exhausted and have two tiny people to look after.

I have also been making more of an effort with skincare, this is helping my confidence a bit and I felt like it was one area I could get started on straight away, and once I started to feel a bit better about my face it has motivated me to put the effort into my body and clothes.

I had gone down the baggy top route but I don't think that was actually helping, I'm preferring the look of a fairly loose fitting t shirt tucked into my jeans now, it doesn't completely disguise the tummy but I think it makes me look a bit more put together. Then just making the bits of me that aren't wobbly look better - so I've bought some new white trainers, and always wearing some low key jewellery, just a pendant or earrings so my overall image isn't so shabby.

I'll be following with interest to see if anyone has nailed this one!

Oh and I do agree about the bra situation, I bought a couple of nice underwired nursing bras from hotmilk and they revolutionised my torso!

I am a considerable length of time post-partum (10 years ), but I am shopping my way out of a style rut at the moment myself.

I came to the conclusion that much as I love the jeans and t shirt look on other people, it was just making 14.5 stone shortarse me look fat and dowdy.

So, I'm embracing dresses, fit and flare shape. That has really helped the lower belly shelf as I'm no longer trying to buy long tops to disguise it.

I too have gone from hourglass to more rounded although a lot better now 4 years down the line than I was.

The main thing is stop squeezing into your old stuff if it's bottoms you're not fitting then buy a few that do fit. I'm finding high waisted really suits me and anything with thicker material of its flimsy it clings to my stomach.

My shape totally changed after DS2, I'm still recovering from diastasis reci. I have found high waisted clothes and pinafore dresses suit me. Pinafore dresses have been great for breastfeeding.

Also, there is a Facebook group called 'can I breastfeed in it? UK' loads of ideas for clothes. Everyone has been super supportive so would definitely recommend joining.

I've really struggled with my body this time and although I'm still not happy I no longer want to hide away.

Sorry to hear that others are in the same boat! Interesting that a couple of you say that your shape has changed after having a baby (as opposed to just putting weight on).

Part of the problem I’m having is balancing the need for practical clothes- I’m at home full time with the children and spend most of my time sat on play mats or at the park- with wanting to look vaguely nice and put together.

I am really hating breastfeeding right now so not really wanting to buy more breastfeeding friendly clothes but thank you for the recommendations anyway @2020nymph it’ll be handy for others reading I’m sure.

Thanks for the thread, very similar situation here and am looking into online stylists such as lookiero and stitch fix to get me out of the rut and dressing my new body shape.

I used Lookiero once after baby number one. Only ended up keeping one item which was a pair of trousers I would have never picked up off the shelf. My DH affectionately takes the piss out of me every time I wear them but I love them and feel a bit less frumpy when I wear them.

I see models in the Hush catalogue and would love to look like that but the clothes would look shit on my not massive but flabby body, especially with my chunky thighs. When I wear loose stuff I look absolutely massive but when I wear fitted stuff all I can see is flab. Don’t really know what the answer is...

I tried Stitchfix recently - I'm in a very similar situation but with a baby a few months older. O wrote a really detailed note to the stylist about post-partum changes and was really pleased. Several lovely dresses and some trousers in thick jersey fabric which have got me lots of compliments. They really listened carefully and sent stuff that fit my lifestyle.

My referral link will get you £15 free credit: www.stitchfix.co.uk/invite/vwfp4h55sx?sod=a&som=c

I'm giving estilistas a go, hopefully will be q good experience.

Try the Can I Breastfeed In It Facebook page- lots of suggestions for flattering post partum outfits and regular clothes you can feed in rather than having to buy special T-shirt’s etc

Or try the Style Sisterhood Facebook page - lots of outfit ideas and advice but without the breastfeeding angle!

Personally I wouldn’t buy too much for now - my figure changed so much in the first 18months after my second. I would work out what you like and buy maybe a weeks worth of clothes (lots of things that go together) and see how you feel after a couple of months. It’s just personal preference but I bought good quality stuff off eBay to save the expense of buying new (although it’s always a risk if you can’t try before you buy).

Go to the charity store. Try in everything and anything which catches your eye. You will find random things in all different sizes. Hit a few in one go, if possible.
I also bought some bundles online for jeans etc.
Loose tops with yoga pants then maternity jeans.
I've a nice midi skirt which sits on my waist for going somewhere nice.
Still two stone to go but getting there. Moving from 14 to size 12 now
Aiming for 10 for Christmas.
Buy nice but cheap.
I went mad on Hush for their sale with the intention I'll get into them for next Summer but am in Nice charity store finds now, size 12 to 22 tops, like I said - random! 😁👍

Skater dresses with long cardigan or slim mid rise or high waist jeans with loose jumper or boxy/shift top and long cardigan or jacket worked quite well for me. These kind of outfits:

ladyomatic.com/camel-cardigan-white-top-skinny-jeans-source-2/
www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/239535273904831044/?autologin=true
www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/578008933395748115/

Second baby is now 3 and I'm trying to branch out into other styles - body has settled down but still a different shape from how it was before.

A nice leather or cropped denim jacket looks good too.
Definitely use a pendant to style it or costume jewellery. Makes it look like you've put thought into the outfit.