Arm Hair

[toothfairy73]

I've posted this under SN parenting but also posting here as you may be more aware of the products that are available

My daughter is 13. She suffers from anxiety and depression and is currently waiting to be be assessed for ASD. She is really self conscious and hates the way she looks. No amount of reassurance helps.

She has recently told me she hates her arm hair. She has dark hair and really hates it. I know there are bigger problems but it's massive to her. She has just started shaving her legs, and she now wants to deal with her arm hair

Does anyone else have this situation? How did you solve it? We can't shave it. I am scared about using bleach. She has sensory sensitivity and she would find it difficult (also the same for waxing).

Has anyone tried any other options? And what happens if you stop? Does your arm hair grow back weird? Sorry I know this is a really niche question!

Try bleaching a small area. Why do you not want to shave it?
Veet?

When you shave it grows spikey then when its longer lays flat down again..it wont make it thicker but the angle might make it more stubbly or look thicker.

Hi OP his would your daughter feel about going to a salon and trying hot wax? The type that looks like bubble gum that they spread in a small area and take off when cool? It hurts less than strip wax and possible to try a very small area first.

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I've always shaved my arms to me it's just as normal as any other part of my body .
It doesn't grow back stubbly like armpits or legs though it grows back soft and fine so I would let her try to see if she's ok with it .

If it is long you could try trimming it so it is shorter with a hair trimmer or bikini attachment on an electric razor and it may feel less noticeable.

I would add though - is this a symptom or the cause? In other words let’s say you sort the arm hair to her satisfaction, is her focus just going to move to another part of her due to her anxiety?

I've shaved my arms all my life. They don't go stubbly or spiky but the hair is fair and soft. Takes seconds in the shower.

Electric shavers are great if you are worried about her cutting herself.

I'm really sorry to hear that your daughter is suffering anxiety and depression, toothfairy73 - that must be so difficult for both of you.

Without in any way wanting to minimise what she's feeling, I just want to mention that it's very usual for 13-year-olds to feel this kind of body loathing and self-consciousness and it will pass. That doesn't mean you shouldn't help her do what it takes to feel better about herself - but in amongst dealing with the anxiety and depression and ASD diagnosis, it's important to keep hold of the bits that are just part of growing up.

I say this because I have a DS with ASD who has had bouts of anxiety and depression and I know how difficult it is to disentangle those conditions from the condition known as 'being a teenager'!

If you have the money, I would get a laser (eg Philips Lumea). If you know someone who owns one, it would be worth testing whether she can deal with the sensory aspect - it feels like being flicked with an elastic band.

She would need to shave her arms and then zap them; it works on the follicle if the hair is shaved (if you try to zap hair in place it smells of burning hair and doesn't work). It takes repeated zapping to work properly so it would be shaving in the meantime and then letting it grow back in weaker and finer. If you did this through the winter every couple of weeks it would be sorted by spring t-shirt weather.

I epilate my arm hair it's almost painless as you get used to it.

I'm considering the lumea though it looks like a godsend!

I just shave it, it's no different to legs. I even shave my mustache sometimes if I can't find the tweezers. It's a myth that you can't shave arm hair, nothing bad happens.

I don't know whether a Lumea would be suitable for her, but it works very effectively on arm hair. You need to shave or wax it off first and then maybe use the `Lumea at a low setting? This would take longer but would 'feel' less. I hope you find a good solution for her.

I shaved my (very dark) arm hair for a few years at around the same age. I suppose I grew out of my self-consciousness about it at some point and have left it alone ever since - I actually like it now! But it grew back as soft as ever once I started to leave it alone so if that's the reason you/she isn't keen on shaving it might not be a problem?

Oh your poor DD. I was that teen too so I feel her pain! Would she tolerate an epilator? Slightly painful the first few times but it barely registers after a while (admittedly I don’t have sensory issues, though my DD also does so I realise this option might be difficult for yours). IMO it’s better than shaving as there’s no stubble and once every couple of weeks does the job. No nasty chemicals either, which put me off cream/bleach personally. I definitely wouldn’t use a Lumea on a child as it’s not recommended for under 16s (and is also quite uncomfortable for some).

Also just to add: good luck with the assessment process. Been there

I've just found this. Might give this a try first, it's the fact her hairs are so dark that she hates brightside.me/inspiration-girls-stuff/9-ways-to-make-your-arm-hair-less-noticeable-796479/

Does anyone use hair removal cream on their arms? How does it grow back? I really don't want to try something that will make it worse later

Expensive, but she could try Phillips lumea.

I bought a lumea about 5 years ago and used it on my legs. I was a bit lazy about using it (the battery only lasts for about half a leg at a time so you have to plan and sit around in shorts/your pants for a long time while it recharges) so did each bit of leg every two weeks for about 4-5 goes each. While I didn't get them completely hairless, my leg hair got very sparse indeed and would last for a very long time between shaves. It's started growing back now a bit but still much less than it ever was (I was a hirsute teen. It worked amazingly on upper lip (never needed to wax again after two goes) and underarm. I haven't done my own arms but think it would work well and be worth it.

I used it regularly on my arms and it worked really well.

My DD shaves her arms. She's been extremely hairy since she was 6.

We started with hair cream remover age 10 because she was getting bullied by boys in school and when she was about 12/13 she started to shave it. It doesn't grow back thicker or darker.

Try patch test first.

My daughter had very dark hair, which she gets paranoid about! I have recently let her start using veet cream. It worked really well!

Sorry, toothfairy, but genuinely, the ideas in that link won't have the slightest effect. All the chamomile tea in the world isn't going to change your arm hair.

I'd try the cream. You'll get a smoother finish than with shaving and it won't grow back stubbly. Also won't need doing as regularly. The smell isn't great but it's only for a few minutes while it dissolves.

I love chamomile tea but it certainly hasn't stopped me being hairy.

I have thick dark hair. I always trimmed my arm hair with a beard trimmer and bleached it.
I didn't want to risk waxing as my legs are always covered in ingrown hairs and sign want that in my arms.

However lumea or laser might not be a bad idea if you can afford it. I'm not sure about minimum age for them.

Have also shaved my whole adult life. It's no biggie.