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How to actually look like an adult?

7 replies

DotTheCaddy · 03/09/2020 18:02

I need to reinvent myself I think. I'm 27 but constantly get mistaken for a teenager. I was recently asked my a neighbor of my parents if I was at college!

I'm fairly short which doesn't help (5 ft 4) and a pear shape but with zero boob. I'm a size 8-10. I'm usually just in jeans but I have some smart dresses for work.

Could someone please tell me what makes you think someone is in their late 20s?! Is it a particular type of outfit, hairstyle?! I desperately want to look like a young adult and not just a kid playing dress up, which is how I feel sometimes!

TIA 😊

OP posts:
hastingsmua1 · 03/09/2020 19:41

It’s mainly down to what you look like but I think it’s also a confidence thing honestly. Every adult dresses casually occasionally, but doesn’t necessarily get mistaken for being a teenager because they’re wearing jeans.

DarkDarkNight · 03/09/2020 19:48

I could have written this DotTheCaddy. I hate discussing my age and always try to change the subject as I know people will be aghast and have assumed I was years younger. I hate buying alcohol in shops as I am always asked for ID, a man working in a shop once assumed I was my son’s big sister. My face just hasn’t changed at all since I was a teenager, not in a good way - I have signs of early ageing but have a baby face as well Hmm.

I think hastingsmua1 has something and confidence is a lot to do with it. I am really self conscious which doesn’t help. I think being self assured helps.

ParcelFarce · 03/09/2020 21:07

Agree 100% about the confidence thing. I also find more structured clothing helps: I’m a student in my late 30s and if I go to uni in jeans and a hoodie people assume I’m young and look surprised when they find out my age; if I go in dressed smarter (fitted dress, blazer, heels etc) I definitely look my age and people assume I’m a lecturer/professor.

ParcelFarce · 03/09/2020 21:08

That said, enjoy it while it lasts! Grin

ZaraCarmichaelshighheels · 03/09/2020 21:22

@ParcelFarce

Agree 100% about the confidence thing. I also find more structured clothing helps: I’m a student in my late 30s and if I go to uni in jeans and a hoodie people assume I’m young and look surprised when they find out my age; if I go in dressed smarter (fitted dress, blazer, heels etc) I definitely look my age and people assume I’m a lecturer/professor.
Definitely this, for example in casual clothes Meghan looks practically teenage! in the structured outfit she looks like a grown woman, though I get that it’s not the most practical of outfits for nipping to the shops! but it does highlight how structured clothes look more sophisticated and therefore older.
How to actually look like an adult?
How to actually look like an adult?
pguppgdown · 04/09/2020 03:49

I was still getting ID'ed for ciggies/ale until I was about 35 so yes, I know how it goes. I couldn't blame it on my height, either- I'm 5 foot 8. My face just looked 'babyish'. At the time, I lived in a city where the 20 year old girls' looked like my mothers' age, and I never really appeared 'polished' like they did. Couple that with my lolloping walk and 'quirky' art student fashion sense, and I used to seem a lot younger than I actually was. I've done my stint spluttering in Tesco's because they won't allow me to buy alcohol because I don't have a driving license and don't have my passport with me.

If it's a confidence thing, then, I reckon you can fake self-confidence, to a certain degree. A lot of it is about 'presence', or 'taking up space'. Women are often programmed to be 'girly' and apologetic, and eager to please, and all that girly makes us look so young. Standing tall, sitting up straight, using power gestures such hands on hips, clasping your hands behind your back when you're talking, walking with purpose, not much talking, practising your resting bitch-face, not giggling or covering your mouth when you laugh, etc, not being so smiley and 'nice', reducing your facial expressions to the bare minimum: all of that can make you seem less approachable, more stern, and more naturally 'mature'.

If you want to look even older, then think about how your appearance intersects with your posture/attitude. You can go wild on nights out, sure, but, day to day, maybe try a more 'classic' and 'tailored' style for your daily 'uniform'. Think 'professional', and 'businesslike', but obviously, not too try-hard. No need for, say, a briefcase and tailored shift dresses and high heels, unless you really do work in a corporate-heavy environment. Think more along the lines of... posh junior doctor, than secretary/office-wear, so... trench coat or woollen overcoat instead of Puffa jacket with a furry hood, a collared blouse/shirt instead of a raggy band t-shirt, a crew neck jumper instead of a fluffy cardigan, tailored trousers instead of Mom jeans, that kind of thing. Simple jewellery, no wild hair colours, no 'trendy' make up looks, always lipstick, short nude nails instead of coffin shaped acrylics, no hoodies, no gym-wear, no slogans or logos, nothing cutesy or overly flamboyant. Sensible shoes if you're on your feet a lot, trainers are okay for our imaginary junior doctor, so long as they're subtle. Depending on your natural colouring... maybe stick to a simple, tonal colour palette, too. Pink and lemon and lilac, for instance, might just emphasise your youth, whereas a navy overcoat with a pale blue shirt, or a dark green and sage, or deep tan and cream/beige might be a more 'mature' seeming palette.

Of course, I'm no fashion maven, but those are the kind of things that worked for me when I needed to 'pretend' to be a grown up, and now I'm mid-40's I can wear whatever daft clobber I fancy: nobody's mistaking me for a teenager these days (sob).

Feel free to ignore my ramblings: hopefully something in there will be useful to you in your reinvention quest.

DotTheCaddy · 04/09/2020 08:53

Nice to see I'm not alone!

Definitely agree about the confidence thing (I've got absolutely none although I'm working on it)

Wow @pguppgdown that's amazing thank you. Off to the john lewis website to find my inner junior doctor...

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