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Wondering whether my face will go back to normal after illness and sleep deprivation!

16 replies

Jessie2345679 · 02/09/2020 22:23

I’ve just turned 42, and I’ve been very ill all year. For the first 6-7 months of the year I was also very sleep-deprived, as I kept being woken up at night; I was getting 3-4 hours sleep per night. I’m still very unwell, but getting a bit more sleep.

For the first half of this year, my face was really hurting - it kind of felt as though it was falling off. I could tell that this was from the exhaustion caused by both the illness and the sleep deprivation.

The result is that my cheeks have drooped, making me look much older than I actually am. This is so disheartening - every time I wash my hands or brush my teeth I see my drooping face in the mirror and hate the way it looks.

I am really worried that it will never go back to normal. If anyone has had a situation like this and their face did go back to normal, I would be very encouraged to hear of it! However, if you’ve had a situation like this and your face did not go back to normal, please don’t tell me, as I can’t deal with hearing that at the moment!

OP posts:
cbt944 · 03/09/2020 01:37

Yes, time, sleep improving even a little, and smiling to yourself helps snap things back. Also working on your self-talk/attitude.

When you see your upsetting face in the mirror give it a smile, looking directly in your eyes, and tell yourself you're getting better now, you're doing really well. Give yourself little treats. A hot bath with a book, a cup of tea in your favourite spot, something you like a lot. Give your face some encouragement by massaging in some pleasant face cream you like, or whatever's at hand. Things do spring back. But the feeling of hope, bursts of joy, happiness, small pleasures in life need to be focused on and encouraged to grow like tiny flowers. So a daily gratitude list for the basics, still alive, have a bed, saw some blue sky, or any things that spring to mind, will also help.

Note tiny improvements. Be kind to yourself and your face. And your body.

Eva Fraser has an inexpensive book of facial exercises you can order online, which I am too lazy to do, but her general advice is sound and the book includes some good acupressure point face stuff and also a facial massage routine that is really nice and gives one a feeling of relief and hope.

If all else fails, a few days of lower carbs and no processed foods or salty stuff can also shape up a sad tired-looking face, too. But I would start with some kindness. It sucks to be chronically ill. So you need to build yourself back up a bit, I find.

IdblowJonSnow · 03/09/2020 01:45

I agree with PPs very thoughtful post. Be kind to yourself OP.
I felt like this for a long time but feel (and look, I think) better and brighter now.

peachgreen · 03/09/2020 01:46

I had similar after a traumatic birth and PND and have just noticed (2.5 years on!) that it's starting to improve. Although I put weight on which helped (my face, at any rate. Not so much my thighs.)

littlecatfeet · 03/09/2020 01:55

Yes, it will!

In my late 30s I was under incredible stress, just constantly in emotional pain, and I had to have a new passport photo taken - I looked 50! And a rough 50 at that! My posture was hunched, my eyes eere cringing. Big crow's feet, those awful deep naso-labial folds - I even had a consultation about fillers and was told I'd need loads of them, and botox. I thought I was Over For Good.

Now, life is easier, those burdens have lifted, I have the mental space to love myself a bit more, drink water and sleep, and I use a moisturiser with hyaluronic acid.
Like magic, I look ten years younger. I look younger than I am, in fact.
I would love to give the me in that photo a big hug and tell her it will be okay, so would you take it instead, OP? From today, things will get better and better. Flowers

Jessie2345679 · 03/09/2020 10:30

Thank you so much for the lovely posts!! 💐They are extremely heartening and wise. Working on positive self-talk and attitude is a very good point - I will try to do that.

@littlecatfeet Can I ask which moisturiser you use please? I ought to get one with hyaluronic acid and am not sure where to start. I totally take your point that it’s not just about moisturiser, though! Feeling “Over For Good” is exactly how I’ve been feeling, so it’s super-encouraging that you came back from that!

OP posts:
littlecatfeet · 03/09/2020 21:28

Jessie, I started off just using any old supermarket stuff, I'm lucky not to have very sensitive skin. Anything with HA in it will help.

Everyone here seems to rave about The Ordinary skincare, I haven't tried it myself.

It's hard to be positive when you're ill and exhausted, I don't think you have to tell yourself that everything's alright now when it clearly isn't. It's enough to just be very kind to yourself, it's okay to look in the mirror and say "poor me, I've had a rough bloody time, it isn't fair". Sometimes we save all our sympathy for other people.

I hope you start getting and feeling better soon.

Jessie2345679 · 03/09/2020 22:28

@littlecatfeet Thank you so much x I’m glad that life is treating you better these days!

OP posts:
SNStoday · 03/09/2020 22:41

Hi OP,

I was terribly ill for 5 months this year. During that time I thought my face aged terribly which was pretty depressing on top of the misery of lengthy illness.

Anyway, I'm slowly recovering and as I'm now getting enough sleep, and have the energy for skincare and gentle exercise I've noticed I look almost back to normal again.

Give it time and don't be too hard on yourself.

domesticslattern · 03/09/2020 22:46

I'm sorry you're unwell, sounds rubbish.
If you are getting more sleep now 100% you will soon start to look better. It's impossible not, when you think how important sleep is biologically Smile
I would nip out and get a nice night face cream too and really slather it on. I get on well with Clarins (actually think it has improved my skin) but the M&S one slightly cheaper and also well-rated (and of course others cheaper still will probably basically do almost the same job, IMHO). Go for one you like the smell of!!
Multi vit and lots of water too, and blusher really helps me on grey days.
Hope you start to feel better soon. Flowers

BlueCowWonders · 03/09/2020 22:54

'' I’ve been very ill all year''
That's a very long time to be ill. Be kind to yourself - it takes so long to recover from even a short illness. Most of us look rough after getting over a cold

Are you managing to eat well? Drink enough water? Go outside for walks?
Cover the basics and take your time

ParcelFarce · 03/09/2020 23:13

I agree with the (very lovely and thoughtful) previous replies, OP - things will get better, but take it slowly and treat yourself with kindness. I looked rough as hell during a long period of stress, but over lockdown I thankfully had the chance to relax (not being at my job helped!) and, most importantly, SLEEP. Once I could relax a bit, my face stopped looking so strained and I looked my age/younger again! Also lots of home cooking from scratch and more time to bother with a decent skincare routine. The Ordinary’s Buffet and Alpha H Liquid Gold have been great for my skin, as has lots of water, fresh fruit and omega 3 capsules! Good luck, it does get better Flowers

cbt944 · 04/09/2020 00:53

It's hard to be positive when you're ill and exhausted, I don't think you have to tell yourself that everything's alright now when it clearly isn't.

That's really not what I was suggesting. Encouragement, reassurance, and looking for positives will do more to lift the spirits and hence the circulation, skin tone, and the musculature of the face, then bemoaning one's troubles, no matter how real and overwhelming they are, I have found after two decades of chronic illness. If you're still breathing, even on a bad day, you are doing quite well. And if everything is really terrible, you can still laugh at that fact for one brief moment.

There is a cumulative effect. The immune system is enhanced, recovery is enhanced, also. Calming the body down is an important part of recovering from any sort of stress, but also very much so from illness. Even my GP says this. It's not woo! I am not suggesting some sort of Pollyanna attitude at all, only to soothe the body.

But MN S + B threads, I have noticed over the years, are overrun with people who take the mechanical approach to their bodies, and act as if the face is a part of a car and needs to be panel-beaten, injected with artificial substances, and then cut and sewn when that is not enough, throw in some acids, which car polish works best. I prefer to work with the body as my loyal friend, not treat it like an inanimate vehicle.

When older women say smile, as the best anti-ager, they don't mean plaster on a fake smile. But it is the misery muscles people are running off to cosmetic surgeons to inject and fill and cut. Grey skin tone from prolonged stress needs circulation, not weird and fashionable concoctions that will ultimately disturb the skin mantle and act as agers.

I also agree with the previous poster above, that the particular cream used is irrelevant. It needs to smell good to you, personally, ideally. But it is the application, the movement encouraging a return to circulation, and the soothing, as I tried to explain.

Illegally18 · 04/09/2020 14:19

Body shop vit E intensive cream is good, also cerave moisturising.cream. Magnesium spray very day, Epsom salts bath, avenacalm essence, or some ginseng to boost you. Blusher everyday. Eva fraser face exercises are good

Jessie2345679 · 06/09/2020 09:18

Thank you very much for the lovely replies!

@SNStoday I’m so sorry to hear what you’ve been through, and am really glad you’re recovering. It’s very encouraging to hear that your face is going back to normal! I do hope you’ll be fully recovered and looking fully fab again before long! 💐

@ParcelFarce Great to hear that less stress and more sleep made such a difference!! Really glad you’re feeling better, and thank you for the tips!

@cbt944 I totally get what you’re saying. Very sorry to hear you’ve been ill for so long. Xx

OP posts:
BlindAssassin1 · 06/09/2020 13:12

Years of small children, very long late shifts at work, poor eating and sleeping did the same to me. I was seriously considering under-eye fillers.

But after six months of proper sleep, food and rest (its the only thing I can thank the bloody pandemic for), I actually look better. I don't have that undead look.

If you want some products, I agree with above: anything with HA in. Holland and Barratt do some nice ones with the Dr Organics ranges.

And maybe a collagen supplement - which helps plump the skin a bit and is better taken orally not applied in a cream.

Jessie2345679 · 06/09/2020 18:13

@BlindAssassin1 Glad the pandemic has had a silver lining for you - great to hear that the undead look can get reversed!! Thank you very much for the tips!

OP posts:
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