Should I hide my mum tum?

[overthemountainsandfaraway]

After two kids I have quite a sizeable mum tum even after losing all the baby weight. I'm a size 14 bottom (curvy bottom) and 12 top (flat chested). I really hate it and tend to wear sack like clothes to just cover everything but I keep seeing that I shouldn't be doing that. Trouble is everything suggests belting outfits to give a waist but that is literally the worst thing for my shape, it just accentuates the tummy poking out so I can't understand what I should do. Ideas please!

Have you tried Spanx or a similar product?

Well, yes I do have some but I don't find them comfortable for day to day. To make any difference they have to be really tight. I guess my tummy isn't just loose skin, it's properly poking out.

Do other people wear Spanx every day??

Wear what you feel comfortable with , i see lots of women with big tummies wearing things tucked in , I personally hate it showing but each to their own. I don't wear spans every day but I buy Tesco shorts shapewear to wear under dresses for work which are much more comfy .

I can't wear Spanx. They give me wind and bloating which ends up looking worse than when I started. Very uncomfortable.

I always had a flat tum until I had DC. Then I had to be very careful of my weight to keep it down. Diet and exercise. You say you've lost the baby weight but maybe there's more to go at. Also exercise to get more core muscle activated.?

Re dressing to hide a mum tum. My preferred is medium rise jeans (keeps it all in without being too restrictive on actual stomach area) with a semi fitted top. Not too long and loose - that makes everything look bigger.

I think if you have a tummy then separates are really difficult unless you have a top which skims over.

Wearing shape wear I would consider a special occasion thing, I would experiment with different dress styles, at least those would be comfortable, perhaps different shapes will work, like crossover ? Not clingy fabrics but cotton ?

You cant hide any part of your body. That's the shape you are right now and you need to try an accept it. Having a mum tum isnt ugly, its part of you like your elbow or thigh.

Wearing tunics is great if that's what you like, but it doesn't stop you or anybody else being able to see the shape of your body. Control underwear is great but if you're uncomfortable in your clothes that wont help you feel good for the day.

I tried this outfit on last night because I think the leggings a fierce. I love it and will wear it, you can still see my FUPA/belly/mum tum

Are you sure it’s mum tum and not diastasis recti? Maybe get your GP to check you over.

I don't think anyone 'should' hide anything, but if you would like to then sure OP. Almost nobody has a flat stomach, and lots of us have a tummy whether we've had kids or not. Nobody can discern where it came from by looking. It isn't as though men are immune. There is really nothing wrong with having a normal body and we are too used to the lack of normalisation of this.

I wouldn't wear spanx in the day to day as I value comfort . I would establish what body shape you have and look into what cuts might give the silhouette you want. Find people to follow on instagram who have similar body shapes to you etc.

Sack clothes will just make you look big all over. I'm bigger than you and have a slight c section overhang as well but I definitely look better in more fitted clothes. What would you like to wear/what sort of look would you go for if you could wear anything?

Don't wear styles that you don't like just because they're 'in'
Equally, don't feel you have to hide a part of your body. All those years I spent with long jumpers over my 'huge' bum...
And for the love of God burn the spanx.
Clothes should be comfortable and joyful if at all possible.

This is me too! And I hate shape wear with a passion, always regret wearing it! And I 100% agree about belts too.

After years of experimenting I think I have found my “look” that makes me feel confident and avoids the need for spanx

I wear a lot of “oversized” clothes but I wouldn’t call them sacks as I pick them carefully to show off the slimmer bits I have. Tiered dresses are a good example.

I also buy good quality well fitted modestly padded bras (from CK) only to TRY and make my boobs stick at at least as far as my tum.

A more recent discovery is jumpers that are slightly cropped and boxy so they don’t cling and the hem sits (can’t find a nice way to describe this) around the top of my bikini line. They cover my tum but aren’t long enough to cut across the widest part of my hips which for me is an absolute no.

My most surprising recent discovery is that I can wear dungarees (with bright camis), after some thought I have decided that this is because it’s a column of colour which is always slimming and the bib/fasteners create bulk and attention to the area that needs bulk and maybe attention.

Hope some of this helps. Ultimately you are dressing for yourself and what makes you happy when you look in the mirror.

There are really soft stretchy 'hold you in pants' from Primark and those American ads that appear on FB like waist shapers.com. You can size up too. They are really soft and just smooth the shape out. You can go a size smaller and they will hold you in more but will feel more constricting. They never roll down. I have bigger sizes for the weekend and tighter ones for certain outfits or work days.

Thank you for your thoughtful answers. Some really helpful ideas.

Yes I can still lose more weight and will work towards that but my shape is different now even at the same weight as I was before kids. That's what's annoying! I definitely don't have diastis recti but yes I did check that in case.

Will look into the pants to see if the comfy ones make any difference.

I think part of the problem is that I don't actually know what I would like to wear if I had a flat tummy... I need to give that some thought.

I've always steered away from dungarees because onesies tend to look dreadful on account of my big bum but maybe dungas wouldn't be so bad.

I totally agree with everyone saying it's a normal body shape and to be comfortable with it - I would love to be, I will keep trying...

I think I'm stuck on the skinny jeans / baggy top trend so I need to break out of that somehow...

How about a gathered skirt and tucked in top? Or peg trousers and cullottes.

@Thinkle where do you buy your clothes? You sound like me. I like COS and boxy type stuff. What do you mean by tiered dresses?

@cherrypiepie I would love to wear a gathered skirt and tucked in top! I love that look but it looks dreadful on me, it just shows my tummy even more ☹️ culottes i do like and I have some peg trousers I loved from cos but now too small, maybe I could look for some more

I would start with good fitting underwear. Correctly sized bra. Knickers with front panel. Skinny or straight jeans with long line fitted vest top, then another top/jumper over the vest top so you can still see the bottom of the vest top. The jumper needs to be boxy and not clinging to your waist. Layering but not all needs to be flowing. Some fitted. If you have a good bum show it off. Style with flat shoes.
We are all different shapes and sizes and we should embrace our individuality xx

That sounds good, I often don't have the long vest underneath.

Bra fitting is another nightmare. I've been fitted several times and to get the width in the wire I need a size that is too big in the cup fullness wise. So very few styles fit. I think I'll just wear bralettes forever 🙄

What brand of shaping pants will be comfy but not sweaty? I find the cheap ones have a synthetic gusset 😳

Have you tried tops with elastic round the bottom? Sometimes called blouson or bubble hem tops.
I find these flattering on my big tummy but also have huge boobs.

I have a big belly and I find dresses like this where it is v neck and tight/tapered in under the bust then flares out a bit extremely flattering

Also high rise trousers I wear a lot.
Not bootcut or flared though, that looks awful on me

High rise trousers yes, I like those I will look for some more, but those wrap dresses are no good for me because I've not got the boobs for them 😔 tummy pokes out more than boobs! Bubble tops I can give a try

I am flat chested with a belly too. It's a nightmare!

I like a shirt dress or dress with a high waistline. it's taken me years but I've decided I like mid-high wasted things now. I do have some dungarees and jumpsuits that I love, but there are many that make me look 7 months pregnant. I don't wear any tight fitting tops as they would just cling to my tummy, but my tops aren't sack like at all.

I personally think the baggy tunic length top is the thing not to go for, but it seems a lot of people cover themselves up this way.