Those of you who only wear clothes they love...

[TwiggyStardust]

...please help me!

I’m in this strange style quandary.

I have urges to get rid of lots of my wardrobe and simplify everything - colours, lines, etc. I’m not wearing heaps of my lovely clothes. I’m very torn between wearing my show-stopping brights and going for pared-back,slightly prettified minimalist. I’m in my mid-30s and I feel like I’m still trying to find my style. Some of it us down to a career and lifestyle change (and, of course, COVID-19 has affected this too).

I think it’s something to do with a choice between wearing clothes that people notice - and do I want this or not? I (apparently!) have the figure, etc. to wear them, but I feel like I’m all over the place with my style.

I’m wondering if a wardrobe clear out and only keeping/wearing the things I reall love might help?

Some of me wants to be plain and minimalist, but I’m always massively drawn to brights and prints.

So tempted to get rid of stuff to simplify wardrobe, but took a heap of beautiful vintage finds to the charity shop years ago and have always regretted it a little! 🙈

Any thoughts/advice/experiences would be mich appreciated!

Minimalism isn't an aesthetic, it's an approach. That gets translated into a lot of monochrome and clean lines on the internet but do a bit of research on the origins and its relevance in contemporary art and zen Buddhism and you'll see the current interpretation of it is a peculiar one, a dogmatic one at that. It doesn't need to be that way at all. It's about appreciating things to their fullest without being distracted by other things. Minimalism is about applying and sanding away a ridiculous number of layers of lacquer on a bowl, a constant motion of subtracting and adding that brings an almost meditative state. The end result may be a very simple pared down black bowl but it's rather insignificant to what preceded it, the bowl itself doesn't represent minimalism.

My best advice would be to go through your wardrobe cull what obviously can be culled. Then split it into four seasons, store away three. For the upcoming season hang as much as possible on racks in colour families so you can easily grab things. Hang things you've worn back with the metal hook in the opposite direction so at the end of the season you'll know what you haven't worn, take a decision to keep, delay the decision until the next time the season comes around (mark it somehow), or get rid and just cycle through all the seasons like that. Since we're in transition weather wise, keep some of the late summer stuff in too, just stick a reminder in your phone to remove them a month from now.

I only ever get rid of clothes that I haven’t worn for at least a year or 2 if it’s occassion wear.

I wouldn’t just move on half of my wardrobe to end up buying new piles of stuff on the next few months. I’d probably make sure the stuff is well organised so that perhaps your vintage/bright stuff is on one side of the wardrobe and the simpler, monochrome styles on the other. It’s ok to like more than 1 style and it can depend on your mood too.

It’s fine to have days where you want to be bright and noticed, and days where you don’t. No need to have your style or a capsule wardrobe. Just wear what makes you feel good on the day, and as PPs day make sure you can find it! I swap out clothes only twice a year (my plastic boxes in the loft just have obviously winter stuff in them at the moment). But I do have a decent amount of wardrobe space and I hang my clothes by type, trousers then skirts, then tops then jumpers et cetera.

I have a core capsule wardrobe that makes dressing easy. It includes a few stand out items in the same aesthetic. I also have some things that are beautiful and I love. I have a notebook for my purchases. This helps me work out what worked and what didn't over time. I have used various style advice colour advice things to learn about what suits me and what I like.
For me what helps is to have a wardrobe that has outfits not just items. So I doebd time working out what's missing to make my clothes work. I keep a list and when I'm shopping I remind myself what I need rather than buying another one of something I have. I buy things that make the things I love most wearable in more contexts etc. For me that minimalist. My wardrobe works hard but its varied and most importantly I focus on what I really enjoy wearing

Thank you - some really good advice here. 😊

@botemp - a great point re. minimalism. I’m
afraid my initial post was poorly articulated due to writing hastily/sleep deprivation! Your wardrobe cull sounds like a good plan and interesting to hang things in colour sets - perhaps this would be better than arranging in item groups, eg. jumpers, skirts, dresses, etc.?

Thanks, too, @JoJoSM2, @Lurkingforawhile and @lasttimeround - some useful advice here too!

Some of me wants to be plain and minimalist, but I’m always massively drawn to brights and prints.

You can do both. Basics and foundations of outfits in plain neutrals, and then have your brights and prints as accents.

Black turtleneck, black jeans, black boots, amazing pizzazzy bright embroidered jacket.

Sleek dress, show-stopping printed boots.

Simple white tee, plain gold necklace, white sneakers, bright printed A line skirt.

Brights and prints lose their magic if they don't have room to stand out – what if you split your wardrobe as PPs have suggested into plains and eye-catchers, and then see what outfits you can put together where there's one statement item per outfit?

No worries twiggy I did get what you were trying to say. I think it's always important to understand it's more a mindset change that's more likely to be achieved in little steps than a radical overhaul, no matter how enticing it seems to just get to the end goal in one fell swoop. Compare it to a crash diet vs changing eating habits and lifestyle.

It's also good to question why you're drawn to the concept. For me, it's always been somewhat intuitive as I really dislike settling for, "that'll do" but my brain is on the overactive side so it gets crowded in there. It helps to have a more calming physical environment with some order so it doesn't require as much thought and I can approach my wardrobe somewhat more intuitively rather than being overwhelmed by it.

If you've ever been in a Cos shop they do the hanging by colour groups well, Zara has it too but it's always too much of a tip in there to really notice 🙊

If you want to be anal about it, you can organise within the colour group as well, shortest bottom items in the front, followed by sleeveless/T-shirts, longer skirts and trousers after that and then shirts/blazers that way you'll easily pick out the individual items.

If you don’t need the space or the money from selling stuff on, I’d cull and store rather than get rid of loads or you might end up regretting it again. I may be totally wrong, but from your description of your style it sounds like you might quickly get bored with a minimalist capsule wardrobe, and are currently attracted ta particular clean aesthetic rather than suiting a minimalist approach. Reorganising your wardrobe is often a great way to rediscover stuff and think about fresh combinations and looks.

It’s fine to have eclectic taste, and enjoy different looks on different occasions or at different times in your life. Not everyone needs a single signature look, I have a few but still consider my style to be coherent, with some clear themes. I love the playful aspect of clothes and getting dressed and the way they enable me to transform into a different version of ‘me’: sometimes I go plain (and hopefully chic), other times I want to embrace a more rock/bohemian/feminine look.

Agree with @lasttimeround about having a shopping list. Every so often I think this outfit would be perfect with a green belt or a navy blazer for example. And make a note of what I need and then only shop for that rather than just buying nice pretty things! not that there's anything wrong with that a nice pretty things but I don't have enough money to do that anymore. I tend to buy one thing I need a month and also do some shopping at second-hand and charity shops. It's very satisfying when you find exactly what you need in a charity shop!

HI OP, I know this dilemma well!!! I love minimalism and had a wardrobe cull ten years ago and focused on a few key items. It went well but then lifestyle changes made me rethink.

I agree with culling everything you really hate or makes you feel ugh. Anything you are unsure of, pack and store. Then if you change your mind you can retrieve it. For me, while I love having a minimalist look, it varies according to the situation - dropping kids to school and going to park and coffee later; going to work; very wet weather (I have a signature wet day look which is practical, comfortable and stylish - the holy grail of living in Ireland!!!!!!).

I would organise your wardrobe by function - work/mum-duty /sporting activities/recreation/going out - depending on what your life situation is. You can then be minimalist or maximalist depending on the occasion.

I also recommend making lists of clothes you find fault in. So like disliking the hem or neckline or the fabric of something or something you just feel blah in. Then think of replacements and get it right next time. Its lovely having clothes that go together and that please you. Whether that pleasure is how functional they are or the shape or colour or feel whatever makes you happy. Life is too short to feel shit

Some great ideas on here. The only thing I can’t seem to do is put clothes away for 3 seasons. For example today I wore a coat even though it’s summer. I’m contemplating putting all bar one lair of flip flops away but then again we might have a flurry of hot weather.