Do people still wear all black to a funeral?

[CarlottaValdez]

I know it’s a bit “it depends” but thought I’d see if there’s a consensus here.

I’m going to a funeral (close friend’s grandmother) in 10 days and have no clue what to wear. I have a couple of things that are basically black but patterned. Both long sleeved and knee length. One has quite large while polka dots and one a floral pattern in blue.

Do I need to buy a properly black dress do you think?

What culture are they from? British funerals you don't seem to.

Yes they’re British.

I’m actually pretty happy to buy a black dress I should say, more worried about ostentatiously in mourning clothes if closer family to the deceased aren’t. I could ask my friend but seems a crass thing to bother her with.

You don't need to but no harm if you want to.

The funerals I have been to most people were in dark colours but not necessarily black.

The clothes you describe sound fine to me.

The floral dress sounds fine. Funerals don’t tend to be full black but definitely dark and less showy clothes. Don’t turn up in bright orange or pink unless asked!

Thanks I think I’ll go with the floral, with black tights and shoes.

Last two funerals I went to we were specifically told to wear bright colours so I haven’t actually done a normal one for years.

If you're just in the congregation then floral one sounds fine.

I wear black/navy/grey unless otherwise stated eg ‘bright colours to be worn’ ‘wear something pink’

I've been surprised over the last couple of years at how many people don't wear black or at least very dark colours. I'm afraid I did judge them. Unless told otherwise I'd stick to as dark and plain as possible.

The irreproachable thing to wear is plain black, or another dark/sombre/traditional colour of mourning or second mourning

Patterns with care - something small/unobtrusive is fine. Eye catching is not.

Unless of course there is a dress code in which case you follow that.

But no one is ever expected to get a new outfit for a funeral, so just choose the quietist thing you have

There does, unfortunately, come a stage of life where it’s with having a good funeral outfit. If you work in an office, you’ll probably have a black/navy/dark grey suit anyhow. If not, getting a good (lightweight, long) coat in black or dark/dull grey or navy might be an investment buy (as you can wear it to any/all and it won’t matter what you have underneath)

Unless asked not to. We didn’t have any at dads.

I’ve worn black/navy outfits in the past but the last two funerals I went to were of the “no black” variety. I wouldn’t judge anyone who turned up in anything in particular at a funeral. It’s about being there.

I would avoid the big Polka dots, the floral sounds better.
I doesn't need to be a dress, I've worn a skirt and top to various funerals. (as someone said above, at certain stages of life, a funeral outfit is an essential item in your wardrobe)

If it's an elderly person and there hasn't been a "wear pink/green/polka dots" edict, I stick with as dark as possible. It seems more respectful.

I have a dark grey boden dress that is now my funeral outfit I'm only 36 but I've been to more funerals than weddings
I would just go dark so navy/black/dark grey, even black skirt and a dark top or trousers and top. You can always tone something down with a dark cardigan/coat

The floral sounds like the better option.
People don’t tend to wear all plain black, it’s generally muted, dark colours ie navy, grey etc in clothes that wouldn’t necessarily catch the eye... unless asked otherwise, of course.

I wouldn't judge anything anyone wears to a funeral, although if it's for an elderly person, some of the older generation might.

I'd say something black/grey/navy and formal would be OK. The last one I went to was specifically no black. I prefer them.

I wear whatever I have that suits the weather and is dark/somber.

Recent funeral in sweltering heat, I wore a black sundress and cardigan

DM’s winter funeral, I wore a black & cream tweedy jacket, black trousers, white shirt and black gloves.

But wear what’s comfortable and gets you through the day.

I'm sorry but I don't think a floral pattern is quite right for a funeral. Obviously no one will be appalled, but it's not quite right as it sounds a bit cheery or dressy, which you don't want. Go for darker colours, subdued grey, maroon, brown, navy. No one expects you to buy a new outfit, but if you want to you will probably find it comes in useful if it's a classic dark dress or coat.

To be honest, from your description I'm not sure about either - and I don't wear black to funerals.

I think the polka dots in particular could make you stand out, which is the last thing you want, unless you're immediate family.

As a previous poster says, have you got any plain separates in dark colours? I think sober and forgettable is the way to go - nothing that draws attention.

I don't think black is expected anymore. There's no reason why anyone's funeral wear should be judged; you're there to remember the life of a person, not to send out messages via clothing choice, but I'd go for something subtle in which you feel comfortable.

www.hobbs.com/product/charlene-dress/0120-5547-1185L00-NAVY-IVORY-16.html

That’s what I was considering buying - that’s pretty inoffensive isn’t it?

I usually wear black or navy, but I have plenty of smart dark clothes that I wear for work so its easy. For my parents' funerals I did wear all black, but for someone that I'm not that close to I would wear my work clotges basically - dark trousers and top. Of your options, the floral definitely sounds better.

That looks fine OP. I think funerals are a like weddings in that unless you are the center of attention no one really looks at you.