Hopeless case, no clue about clothes anymore!

[1AngelicFruitCake]

Please help I’m coming up to 40, like to think of myself as a 12 but since children I’m now a 14. Try to lose weight but struggle to give up chocolate, wear the same leggings, dress combo most of the time. If I wear jeans I struggle to know which footwear to pick. I seem to struggle with smart/casual for going out (when all goes back to normal)
Make up wise I never know which foundation is a typical one people choose with good coverage? I’d love to wear lipstick but think I’d look like a clown.
My style in my head is above knee dresses with ankle boots.
I don’t even know what I’m asking, I just feel like a hopeless case. My weight has made me feel there’s no point bothering until I’m slimmer but then I’ve not done that.
I used to wear perfume, jewellery and think about how I look and I’ve lost my way!

No advice because I feel exactly the same!! I’m a size 16 (up from a 12), and only have 1 pair of jeans that still fit and other than that I’m in leggings. I’m 41 and losing weight isn’t as easy as it used to be!

Make up wise i don’t wear a lot as, like you, I feel a bit too ‘dressed up’ sometimes with it on. With me it’s eyes, other people seem to always wear eyeliner and it makes their eyes look amazing. I put it on and look like I’m in a heavy metal band, just really overpowering!

I used to wear make up and jewellery and perfume!

😄 Glad it’s not just me! I work with women who look great and it has affected my confidence. I feel ridiculous sometimes in new clothes. My old clothes make me feel safe! I need someone to sort me out. I’m the same with eyeliner, although I’d love to wear it. I need Gok Wan to sort me out (that’s how dated I am, he’s not been on TV for years!)

He’s still on, but he’s doing cookery shows now I think!

I’m a SAHM and have no reason to ‘dress up’ so I don’t know what to wear if I do! It’s our wedding anniversary this weekend and I was slightly panicking at the thought of dressing to go out (as it happens Ireland has gone into a light lockdown so we’ve decided not to)

Have a look on Pinterest at different outfits and see which ones appeal to you. With the foundation do you want full cover or just to cover a few red or pigmented bits? I just get a good match and blend it into any uneven bits rather than put it all over because I think it looks more natural. With the eyeliner either try a liquid line above your top lashes or if that still looks too dark and heavy try brown. I have a deep green liner that looks great if I only want some shading rather than a strong line. Also you can put the liner on and use a cotton bud to remove it until you get the depth you want.

It’s so easy to lose your way a bit once you have DC - with the weight loss I’m going to do the The Fast 800 plan once the kids go back to school. It’s quick weight loss which is exactly what I want.

starshapedwindow I tried brown eyeliner and it just seemed to disappear but recently was reading, and for green eyes, I should wear purple (or red/maroon which sounds scary)!

I’ve had great success with 5:2 so I’m going to restart that and combine to with 16:8.

I have no answers but just wanted to come on here and say I feel exactly the same. My DH and I were talking about our finances last night and how lovely it would be to have a bit more to spend on clothes etc without having to always worry. He asked me "If you could shop anywhere for clothes, which shops would you go in?" I had literally no idea. Where do 38year-olds shop other than Asda and Primark?

When beauty counters can do makeovers again, book one at Bobbi Brown. They are really good at natural-looking make up. You don’t have to buy everything from them, but you will get some great tips on application and colours.

Re clothes, somebody has already sensibly suggested looking on Pinterest for ideas. I’d also recommend, when you are out and about, looking at outfits other women are wearing and picking up ideas from them.

You’re only 39, so don’t think that you’re going to look like mutton in more fashionable clothes. What are your best points, ie have you got good arms and legs that you could show off in sleeveless stuff and/or smart shorts and skinny trousers, or are you somebody with a good cleavage and waist? It makes such a difference, wearing clothes that suit your shape.

I don’t wear a lot of patterned stuff (I’m 48) because I think it looks a bit mumsy. Maybe that’s just me.

Where do 38 year-olds shop other than Asda and Primark?

This 48 year old has been shopping at Reiss, Jigsaw, J Crew and M&S since she was 30, with the odd bit of Boden thrown in. Can’t get excited by All Saints, Whistles or Ted Baker.

I’m actually 38 and quite a lively, happy person I think anyway so I tell myself I can’t be one of those attractive, put together women but I’d love to be!
I want foundation coverage just for blemishes and to even out my skin tone. I’ll try Bobbi Brown when I can as natural but polished is what I’d love!
I don’t want to be too negative but I’ve got a noticeable tummy and big arms and a fat face! I have a great waist, good cleavage and my legs aren’t too bad, thighs are bigger than they should be but it’s mainly my stomach that gets me down. I love floral patterns, cardigans, Dr Martens that sort of look but I’ve stopped buying new clothes so just go for a supermarket make do like someone else said!

Oh no, I think I’ve killed my own thread ☹️

You didn’t kill your own thread 🙂

I’m an Apple, and not one of those petite fun sized apples kids put in their lunchbox but more a Fat Lady large apple shape. My problem areas sound similar to yours, I just have them on a bigger scale than you. Sooo.. lets go!

Arms - keep them covered, but you want loose fluttery sleeves not tight sleeves. Fluttery sleeves skim my arm fat, tight sleeves look like chunky sausages. During the summer if I’m wearing a sleeveless top, I’ll use a thin shirt, a kimono or a light cardigan. Plus loose sleeves give the underarms some breathing space.

V necks, low scoop necks are good. Those of us blessed of chest should avoid high necks and double pockets on shirts (you’ll look broad and matronly).

Dresses are good for skimming over lumps and bumps, but be careful with your waist line. You want skimming to give shape, not sack to hide shape. If it’s loose, you can create shape with a belt. Position carefully, you don’t want to be all body and no legs, but not all legs no body either. Look in the mirror in your knickers and identify where your waist is, and use it when you have clothes on!

Shapewear is good, but not always practical dayto day or in summer, but I can recommend Chub Rub undershorts from Snag - can’t feel stylist if your thighs are burning.

Not sure how confident you are with makeup, but if you have a round face like me, a tiny bit of gentle shading (not Kim Kardashian contouring) can help. YouTube can help there but take a look at Whitney Hedrick - she has a round face and hooded eyes, so suits me. Also look at Brianna Fox she has a round fox contour video - look for tips on where to dust some bronzer (still don’t go KK). On a budget ELF and Makeup Revolution plus Primark are your friends.

Take a look at Sainsbury’s, they have some nice bits and their material is often a little thicker than ASDA. Tissue paper thin fabric highlights bumps, so it’s either shape wear, loose fit or better quality material. Also look at some of the Curve ranges online ASOS etc On a budget look at the sale section. Try Shein Curve but read the reviews for guidance on their sizes. I’ve got some nice dresses and tops there for a tenner. They often have free shopping and discount codes.

Meant to say Brianna Fox round face contour video - 2017

I think with make up it’s less is more. You need a tiny amount of products particularly if you have pale skin or feel it can look a bit much. Maybe look at tight lining for eyes. I’d go with tinted moisturiser over foundation, so it doesn’t feel you are faking stuff on. Lipstick I don’t get myself as it seems to last about 10 minutes.

Fashion wise, you could look at a House of Colour. I feel like at this sort of age it helps to have an idea of what suits rather than being dragged along by trends, although that’s not to say you can’t look fashionable.

If you’ve got a bigger budget, try Joe Browns, Mango,

Take a look at websites and try and identify /shortlist your colours (don’t pay £40 or £60 for an online analysis). Then raid the families drawers for some example colours and spend some time draping them around your face / chest in a mirror (near natural light, or in the garden) to narrow it down. Then try and buy your clothes along with some neutrals so your wardrobe mixes better

I think it’s more about what you like or don’t like than actual stores. I know I won’t wear most pattered tops, most synthetic fabric or anything with a sheen to it. For the last few years I have gravitated towards more boho clothes for my mum uniform. I have no problems buying the same items in different colours. I tend to just put The same outfits together each time I wear them. It is sort of capsule as in it all is similar style
but I don’t really mix and match as I find it easier for me to keep it simple. It helps me know when there are gaps in my wardrobe. for example I need a long sleeve collared button up navy shirt for my work wardrobe, it will go with all my other work clothes but if I will probably just wear it with the same outfit every time.

This is me but I'm fatter.

This is all great! This is so helpful. Lots of practical examples to help me. I’ll look up colours and look online at shops mentioned. Some of those make up terms I have no clue! That’s what’s helpful though because I want to learn!
I think I get it in my head that I’ll look ridiculous so it’s a vicious cycle of me wearing the same things.

My issue was looking like I’m playing dress up in someone else’s clothes, but most of the people you see during the (outside Covid) are strangers so they don’t have a preconceived idea of you visually You might get a compliment for those you know (“You look nice today” “ You look different”) but just smile and say thank you. I’m uncomfortable with attention, so when wearing a dress was unusual for me, my coworkers compliments made me self conscious but I’m getting used to it.

I don’t wear a lot of patterns like Frannibananni but I’ve got three or four dresses and two skirts which I think are ok. I’m not a fan of shiny materials as they can highlight my bumps, and some are uncomfortable to wear. I’m more cotton, linen, and viscose then merino wool during the winter (Uniqlo has a good winter jumper and cardigan range for curves but I often need to order online)

Try to stay away from a flat all over colour especially black. Add accessories- belts, earrings, necklace, scarf
These are some links on what necklace to pair with your neckline
images.app.goo.gl/Cs7sa4C6Ba5G6iLE8
images.app.goo.gl/aAJruwteZDy27WG68

Join Instagram and get some inspiration- look for people with similar shapes to you. The tricky bit is that popular instapersonalities have big budgets and lots of free PR so can be a bit more aspiration than inspiration, but finding someone with your budget is like looking for a needle in a haystack. I follow hashtags and when I see someone pop up, I then follow from there. I’ve found women through #ootd #apple #curvy #over30sstyle etc Also look at the John Lewis personal stylists instagrammers Most (all?) of their accounts start jl_ followed by their name and a lot of their posts are tagged jlinspiration so I follow the hashtag

No one is going to die because of what you wear - that’s what I tell myself when I have a self confidence bump going past the hall mirror walking out the door I look like I’ve made no effort most days, but I am getting better.