Help me style my fussy teen?

[Lovemusic33]

Dd is starting 6 form in a couple weeks, she has Aspergers, sensory issues with clothing and doesn’t wear girly clothing (prefers non binary clothing), she can’t tolerate jeans or anything with a button up waist. At home she lives in joggers and shorts from the boys section in next, she wears slogan T-shirt’s mainly from Emp and Qwertee.
School say she has to dress in sensible clothing but they are not very strict (as long as no belly is on show and no short skirts etc..).

She’s a very odd shape due to her having a bone condition, she’s has a small waist but large hips and bum, large boobs but small back. She’s 5”2.

I need to find her some kind of jacket to wear for the autumn and she needs shoes/trainers but due to her feet being very bendy and very small shoes/trainers need to be supportive and comfy whilst being trendy.

I want her to be able to dress how she likes but also don’t want her to look messy or get bullied.

What are most 16 year olds wearing other than skinny jeans, just casual wear? And what brands are they buying?

https://m2.hm.com/m/engb/productpage.0827687002.html?prr_oyster=hnsqtsp6AA&gclid=Cj0KCQjw-O35BRDVARIsAJU5mQUVfKY5WPH7Naaf5KSAQbDSPqburR21c-YMwLFV0q79ymb6W9K87gaAiBtEALww_wcB

@Lovemusic33

She’s never worried about fitting in at all because she doesn’t fit in. She has been bullied all through school due to being different and not girly . She says her friends wear Nike air max and she doesn’t want to wear them, same with any cropped tops or anything slightly revealing, she won’t wear make up, doesn’t do much with her hair.

I guess I’m more worried than she is about fitting in as I don’t want her to be picked on. It would be less worrying if she had her own style but she doesn’t unless you could living in jogging bottoms as style? I have to remind her to shower, to brush her hair and to wear deodorant so she clearly doesn’t care what she looks or smells like. She then comes home saying she’s being bullied and has no friends and it breaks my heart, I want to help her but also I want her to remain individual and different.

I'd be the same. I hope she finds her tribe at college. That's where a lot of us started to, I think.

Thank you, she’s going to a small 6 form at the same high school she went too, I’m not sure she will find her tribe until uni, her best friend has moved away and she only has one other friend going to 6 form (a boy).

She’s amazing and I’m mega proud of her for surviving through highs school constantly being bullied and maintaining very high grades. I would love for her to have a easier time at 6 form yet be herself.

Thank you so much for the suggestions, I will show them too her (or just buy them and hope she will wear them), she gets frustrated with me fussing over clothes and tells me just to buy her some things.

I feel like she could make a "look" from comfy, stretchy, athleisure inspired tapered trousers, unstructured but unscruffy tops and chunky footwear topped with the jacket du jour and still feel like her and fit in with her peers.

There's a line to play with with a dress code though

Would Non-logoed trackies with boots and a chunky sweater be acceptable? Perhaps all in black?

Mums of girls in this age group, is there a cool accessory or bag that would help give the illusion of "fitting in" without actually having to?

@Lovemusic33

Thank you, she’s going to a small 6 form at the same high school she went too, I’m not sure she will find her tribe until uni, her best friend has moved away and she only has one other friend going to 6 form (a boy).

She’s amazing and I’m mega proud of her for surviving through highs school constantly being bullied and maintaining very high grades. I would love for her to have a easier time at 6 form yet be herself.

It's weird how stupid signifiers like clothes can help with that.

Part of he just wants to say "sod it and just let her be herself, but on one level do you think saying "just buy stuff" is asking you to help? Even while she simultaneously complains about it?

Double check the dress code first.
Ds2's school are really strict about ' business dress'

I am trying to swerve her towards plain ish clothing, she likes rainbows (pride) and T-shirt’s with funny slogans, she’s quite young for her age when it comes to styling herself and with her social skills. I will try her with DM’s then she maybe able to wear plain black slim joggers with them.

No recommendation as I’m as unstylish as they come but you’re a lovely Mum to put such effort in 💐

Have a look at The Luck and Yak website? Their Kia and Alexa trousers would probably work well. DD could probably even get away with wearing dungarees? Not too girly and very comfy!

If she's a size 5 or smaller then she will be able to wear styles from the Doctor Marten youth range which are made from softer leather.

@icedbun5

If she's a size 5 or smaller then she will be able to wear styles from the Doctor Marten youth range which are made from softer leather.

Yes, she has tiny feet, she has hypermobility so struggles with boots, luckily smaller sizes of doc’s have zips on them so I’m going to try those. She also has dyspraxia and gets in a muddle with laces. Sadly she won’t wear dungarees (I love dungarees).

She has tiny size 3 feet but has a big instep and wears insoles so shoes are always tricky, up until now she has been wearing boys school shoes as they seem to be more roomy for insoles. I’m bidding on 2 pairs of doc’s on eBay.

I know she’s not fussed but I have hyper mobility and my Nike air max are the most comfortable supportive trainer by far! Teen DS encouraged me to try them.