Needing help to get out of my mumsy look and take more intrest into my look and style.

[Duggeehugs82]

Hello, i have 2 girls 3 and half and 18 months, my 3 and half year old has autism and non verbal and ive found last few years ive just let myself go and look just very mumsy (not sure of better term) ive really struggled during lockdown but see light at end of tunnel with my daughter going back to her special needs nursery in September after nearly 6 months at home with me.

I have just stopped making an effort wih my appearance and wanted to start. Im plus size so size 20-22 , ive got into exercise (couch to 5k) but taking a bit longer as daughter just doesnt sleep long so being really tired but wondered if there was anything i can do or have done to lift me ,

i dont wear make up and feel cmmy clothers are all just super baggy and unflattering, do have a £50 voucher for sainsbury's so thinking of buy some clothes for me from there. What do anyone suggest?

I've just started a similar thread looking for ideas to freshen up my look etc.
My son is autistic and I think that can be all consuming at times so know where you are coming from. Yoga really helped me with that as it helped me realise I needed to think of myself too. Maybe you could try that.
I started running with couch to 5k too and now run 3 times a week and have managed 13 miles before now, hope you get the bug too.
Can't offer help clothing wise as in the same boat. I had a big clear out but probably still need to get rid of more probably and get some new stuff.

@mamapants

I've just started a similar thread looking for ideas to freshen up my look etc. My son is autistic and I think that can be all consuming at times so know where you are coming from. Yoga really helped me with that as it helped me realise I needed to think of myself too. Maybe you could try that. I started running with couch to 5k too and now run 3 times a week and have managed 13 miles before now, hope you get the bug too. Can't offer help clothing wise as in the same boat. I had a big clear out but probably still need to get rid of more probably and get some new stuff.

Thank u for taking time to reply, my daughter is just so time consuming, as she cannot be left at all all, and my life has just revolved around her needs. I feel its having negative impact on my marriage, i just dont make an effort. I find clothes shopping stressful anyways being plus size because im convinced nothing fits me! I have tried yoga and loved it but i need to find time.

A few quick fixes to make you feel more “together” could be a hair cut, eyebrow shape (or do them yourself). If you dye your hair do a fresh colour?

Clothes - autumn is coming so id suggest:

Wide legged trousers
Few tops
New knickers and pair of PJs

I'm a big fan of a statement necklace to change my mum uniform outfit of leggings and a top into something more put together. Also suggest getting some decent shoes, a pair of nice trainers and a pair of nice boots for the autumn.

So after reading replies , spoke to my husband and im going to go hair dressers for cut and colour, inly had hair coloured once years ago and my mum did it , but thats not possible so going to hairdressers, got lots of grey coming through on fron of hair so will look much better, no idea of type hair style i want. I have very round face so not sure which will suit me , might possibly get eye brows done too

Thank u for suggestions

Enjoy your new hair cut!

Coat and boots for autumn will help you feel more together too.

Nicely shaped and tinted eyebrows should be a must for everyone. Frame your face so well.

Well fitting underwear. I am guessing you might not have bought any new in a while given what you say in your post. Badly fitting bras just make you feel frumpy.

I would honestly get rid of any clothes you put on that make you feel bad about yourself. Even if that means you are left with just a few, and you use the voucher to get a few new basics. I think this makes you feel mentally better, and encourages you to have to go out and get something!

Asos also do lovely items in their curve range x

Sorry meant to add that I can imagine life is tough with a child with additional needs. Two children must be tough enough!

Baggy and shapeless will make you feel even worse. I get it, I really do. X

What's your colouring and what sort of style do you like?

Re Sainsbury's, you could buy a bit of new make up / nail stuff, and I like these (not together!) From Tu:

tuclothing.sainsburys.co.uk/p/Monochrome-Spot-Pleated-Midi-Skirt-/137520568-Black?searchTerm=:newArrivals:size:22_103&searchProduct=

tuclothing.sainsburys.co.uk/p/Green-Asymmetric-Hem-Jumper-/137048970-Khaki?searchTerm=:newArrivals:size:22_103&searchProduct=

tuclothing.sainsburys.co.uk/p/Belted-Tapered-Trouser/136772325-Green?searchTerm=:newArrivals:size:22_103:type:Trousers:type:Treggings:type:Coats&searchProduct=

tuclothing.sainsburys.co.uk/p/Pink-V-Neck-Jumper/137055344-Pink?searchTerm=:newArrivals:size:22_103:type:Trousers:type:Treggings:type:Coats:type:Jumpers&searchProduct=

@bookish83

Sorry meant to add that I can imagine life is tough with a child with additional needs. Two children must be tough enough!

Baggy and shapeless will make you feel even worse. I get it, I really do. X

Yes thank u i understood what u mean, i will look at Asos havent looked at them before.

I think the trick is having fewer clothes but clothes that really work and look fabulous

So a great fitting pair of jeans with a few really nice tops can provide lots of outfits

Same size here and there are some fab bits in Sainsbos. Good quality for the price so a good place to start for an immediate lift.

OP

Good

I am a little different situation wise but completely get it. Even my PJs made me feel like a slob as they are ratty and shapeless. Nothing wrong with casual stuff but as PP said, I'd get a couple of basics for now and just bite the bullet and get rid of what makes you feel bad!

Oasis and River Island have curve ranges on asos too.

I got out of a post-babies style rut recently, and it feels great. I had been wearing maternity leggings non-stop since DC1 arrived and DC2 does not sleep. So I was just a haggard state!

I have gotten back into skincare, so I still look tired but my skin is at least looking good, with a bit of a glow. I have also established a really quick, minimal, makeup routine which gives me a little boost - it's literally just concealer, brows, mascara, lipstick/balm, and a little highlighter. Nothing complicated, so I can do it quickly in between morning child wrangling.

Clothes-wise I first bought myself an amazing pair of trainers that I loved and then some new jeans. I discovered mum jeans really flatter my shape, so got a few pairs, a couple of new skirts, and a few tops and I also sorted through my clothes and started wearing some pre-baby clothes again (those that fit, not all do!). I haven't worn leggings in months and I actually feel like I have a sense of style again. I didn't spend a fortune either - jeans were Newlook, skirts off eBay, tops in the ASOS sale. Trainers were the only pricy part.

Honestly a few small changes have made the biggest difference to how I feel about myself. Carving out a little bit of me time for skincare and makeup has made me feel like I matter again.

Make a list of things you want to tackle/buy and work through the list.

I did this as a new year resolution as I was in a similar boat OP having let myself go after two DC. It's been quite enjoyable!

Started with skin because it was so neglected and dry/crap! Moved on to losing weight - this has been slow! But I'm a stone lighter than I was so progress is being made.

Then started building a capsule wardrobe. Researching what I really needed and stopped making impulse buys - made a wish list of good quality items and started saving towards it.

One step at a time and it sort of snowballs from there. I feel miles better!

Thank u everyone for taking time to reply, ive just booked a colour and cut , thinking of going darker hair colour. Got few ideas on styles after googling styles for round face. Got consultation on Saturday morning and then booked in for following saturday. I would like to research capsule wardrobe, as sounds something that would suit, started moisturising my face over last week so will keep doing that. Photos i screenshotted from google search og hair styles

They are lovely hairstyles.

So thought id post an update, i had my hair cut and coloured yesterday and i love it! Ive also brought a new dess which i love , thank u for all replies it has really helped with my confidence, the test is tomorrow when i wash and blow dry! Havent used my hairdryer in years! Ive put the cartoon eyes and mouth as didnt want to show whole face on public forum.

That is beautiful, what a lovely cut and colour

Thank u 😊

Your hair looks lovely. Nice top/ dress too and I don't know how much of a filter is on your pic but skin looks good too .

Your hair looks fab

You look gorgeous!

Your hair looks a beautiful natural colour!