I’m not confident

[Name5532]

I’m shy, awkward and just don’t feel confident. Any advice please?

Oops just realised I posted to wrong board

Whilst I am here. Any advice please on how I can dress for my first week back in work do I feel more confident? I have a big ish tummy (size 12) sticks out a lot as rest of my is small but all baby weight went to tummy and has stayed there

Watch any of Lizzo's content for a nice self esteem boost.

As for tummy...a decent pair of black trousers with a loose-ish top over the top, not tucked in.

Try different dresses, one that skims your tummy not clings. Can you show off your legs? If you have a short torso then maybe your legs are a better feature? Find something about yourself that you love and focus on that. Even if it is literally how a nice pair of earrings and bit of lippy can freshen up your whole look.

Finally, remember no one else is scrutinising you. They're all too wrapped up in their own world with all it's ups, downs & insecurities to be focussed on picking u apart. And anyone that did would be a twat anyway so would be irrelevant

That’s my body shape! Have a look for the Swedish architect thread from a few weeks ago on here. With your body shape you can rock the deliberately oversized look because you can cover your tummy and choose to show all your slimmer assets that you are happy with thus creating the illusion that what’s underneath is in proportion... which it probably is (see below)

If you look closely at your friends and colleagues who have also had kids then they will almost certainly have a similar tum but you just don’t really notice. I do however understand how you feel and that while you can objectively see that other people look the same it doesn’t always help with how you feel about yourself.

To be honest I’m more dreading MIL comments when I drop ds off in morning as she’s looking after him 2 days in the week. She’s very critical. Even when I was a skinny size 6/8 she would tell me my hips and bum are HUGE. So you can imagine what her thoughts of my size 12 body Is lol! She just stares at my tummy and smirks. She’s stoped telling me I’m fat as DH asked her not to but she still looks and I know what she thinking

I’ve ordered loads of dresses but they make my body look like a trolls body. I’m going to order from next now and see if difference.

12 isn’t fat.
Your mother in law is very unpleasant. She must be very lonely and sad.

Sounds like your problem is your MIL not your body! I’d get DH to tell her in no uncertain terms that she is being a nasty piece of work and needs to stop.

Also yes 12 is not fat! I’m sure you look great I agree with PP try the deliberately oversized look - check out Cos for inspiration.

Thank you all for putting into perspective.

The comments about your size say more about your mil than they do about you. She sounds awful. I agree with the comment that you're not the problem, she is. Changing you won't fix her.