perceptions of curly hair....

[beatrixpotterspencil]

I was a child in the 80's with curly white hair, I hated it, everyone else loved it. I was singled out because of it and always told it was special, enviable, etc. I never liked it myself and thought people were mad!
Hair stylists encouraged me never to colour or straighten it as people would pay a fortune for what I had naturally.

This lasted up until my mid twenties, so into the 2000's. And then suddenly the compliments vanished and people even occasionally told me they had sympathy for me having to suffer curly hair!
Hair stylists in the past 10 years have even said my hair is 'problem' hair.
Such a turnaround!
This went hand in hand with straighteners and ghd's exploding on the market.

So I guess I lived through a fashion change, a massive alteration to the perception of curly hair. I have always semi straightened mine and never liked the curls from being a little kid, so none of the fads really affected how I wore it, but I did notice how deeply and suddenly the rejection of curls came about.

So, all the way to the present day, I still see people trying to avoid wearing their curls. It is often seen as 'unprofessional' or untidy, and people say they don't feel groomed or well put together with their curls.

Strangely, nobody said that back in the 80's or 90's.

do you believe fashion dictates this, and our perceptions of what is well groomed?
Will curls have their day again, and flat straight hair become the 'ungroomed' look?
Having lived through these changes of perception and noticed how others react to my hair, it is quite interesting.

I take the middle ground, I prefer it wavy, haha!

@GnomeOrMistAndIceGuy mine looks wild after I've slept on it too, hence the loose plaits. If I put it into a pony tail for sleeping it goes flat on top and mushrooms out when I take out the bobble. If I plait it too tight it goes in knots. I also have sheer satin like pillows so there's less friction when I'm sleeping. My regime sounds anal but is the result of years of trial and error!

I do often pin and tuck it into a sort of loose/partial updo on days three and four to keep it looking tidy but it's still less hassle than washing and air drying which I used to do every day but like you I found it was impractical.

Put it in a pineapple on top of your head for sleeping, or use a sleeping scarf, preferably satin.

My hair was one of the reasons I was bullied at school. There were no products back then (I'm 36), no style cut to hair. We generally had to keep it short because of head lice. I was told my hair was awful and had such a complex that I cut it as short as I could and shaved it in a pixie style.

Now I'm older, I don't care what people think and I really like it. Was ringlets as a child, but now a 2b/3a. Very thick and course so I'm still discovering what prosucts etc are best. I get compliments now, which is weird. Took me a while to realise people were being genuine about them

Gnome
My hair is a little bit like yours, only finer .It will only curl properly when air dried.

When it gets longer though it goes straggly and loses bounce. These used to get called 'rats' tails' when I was younger because my hair is fine.

My hair is prone to frizz. When I wear my hair curly my mother says it looks old fashioned. I'm 47, yet when I went to the salon after lockdown, the young funky stylist said she loved the curls and they make me look younger - the best she's seen my hair. DH also prefers it.

I spent years straightening the hell out of it, trying to tame the frizz. In lockdown I have embraced my curls and I cut it shorter to make them bouncier.

I find that when I put too much product on or used a gel cast, that this makes my hair look worse, greasy.

I am intrigued about cuts now. As I'm new to wearing hair curly, I didn't even know that having a 'special' cut was a thing. Can anyone explain the difference please?

Took me a while to realise people were being genuine about them

This is how I feel about positive comments. Every person I know prefers my hair curly, except my mother. She's done such a good number on me over the years that I thought I looked terrible with curls. That's why I was shocked when my stylist said she loved them. I assumed people would laugh at me. During work Zoom calls I thought colleagues would comment on my 'bird's nest' I even preempted this by making a 'joke' about my bird's nest

@middleager I refer to mine as the birds nest too! My hair can get rather large and I always joke about it too. It's sad/a shame we both do this

@middleager Thanks for the tips! The cut I'm going to ask for tomorrow is a "curl by curl" cut where they ask you to come with natural hair - minimal product, then they pull out each individual curl and cut it to maximise the curl shape. I think, anyway!! It'll certainly make a welcome change to my normal hairdresser who continually just combs my hair out wet, then cuts a straight line along the bottom, meaning it bounces up about 6 inches and goes all over!

Neron it is a shame. I feel like I have to apologise or make excuses "oh well, as it's lockdown, I thought I'd go for the dragged through a hedge backwards look' because society has deemed straight hair as acceptable.

It was interesting upthread somebody mentioned the portrayal of curly hair in popular culture. I think it's 'Friends' where Monica's groomed hair is exposed to moisture and goes big and I was always petrified that would happen to mine. I love Nicole Kidman's natural curls as an aside.

Gnome that sounds great! Let us know how you get on.

It never occured to me that what most hairdressers do is to cut for straight hair and not factor in bounce. I have much to learn.

I have very curly hair that I've never straightened. I've never had anything but compliments about it (I'm early 40s). Anyone who tried to tell me I needed to straighten it would be told to fuck off.

@Neron I got bullied for my hair at school too. I always used to brush it because that's what my mum and the hairdressers I went to did. It destroyed the curls so much that I didn't even know I had them - I just thought I had hair that was "dry", "thick", "coarse", "problem" and so on - all words used by hairdressers when I sat my child/teenage self in their chairs. It took until I was eighteen to have a hairdresser who said, basically, "What are you doing? You've got curly hair", scrunched it with mousse (the only product available at that time) and put me on my curly journey. I had so many issues about my appearance till then I can't tell you, that even now I feel the echoes although like you I now get nothing but positive comments about it. It does leave a mark. ☹️

@TheKarenWhoKnocks it's horrible isn't it, and definitely leaves a mark.
Why is it, we have no trouble remembering the bad but rarely take in the good things said (which there is normally more of).

Tbh I didn't get any good comments about my hair until I started wearing it curly. Just 15 years of negativity (possibly more, but I can't remember prior to being three).

Natural hair is definitely making a comeback in the 2020s.

Just a quick update on my cut at the curly salon for @middleager and anyone who's interested... It did not go well and I'm really disappointed. I explained that I knew my hair was cut badly at the moment and I really wanted a curl by curl cut. She said "mmm, we could try that..." and went to work. As she started cutting, I started to think that this is not what I understood by a "curl by curl" cut as she wet my whole hair and combed it out straight before cutting, which I thought a curl by curl specifically did not. I asked her and she was quite evasive, explaining how the weight off the back would help re-activate my curls again, etc... But I didn't feel I could clarify any further as I wasn't 100% sure myself.
When it came to styling, I said that I preferred soft curls and usually just used a curling serum. She said serums were rubbish and I needed to use mousse. I'm not kidding - she used four HUGE handfuls of mousse on my short hair and started scrunching. Well fuck me, it was ROCK solid. Precisely what I did not want. It looked really old fashioned and dated, not like the lovely soft curls in the pictures I showed her!
So this morning, I've washed the shit out of it and used my lovely serum. Will let it air dry and see what we got. Have to say though, I am so far really underwhelmed. This place is meant to have a really good reputation for curls and I felt like they really didn't listen. Ah well, live and learn.

Result after air drying with serum. Not perfect, but I do like it. Feel bad for my previous rant now lol.