Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

Original poster

Botox - I feel under pressure

53 replies

Pitterpatterpotter · 26/07/2020 19:22

3 of my closest friends are now regularly having Botox and one in particular keeps going on about how amazing it is. None of them have actually suggested I have it but I feel I’m putting pressure on myself as they will stay wrinkle free while I age! I admit two of them look a lot older and have been upset with their lines for years, but one of them looks younger than she is and I am surprised. Is it the new normal? Should I consider it? I only have fine lines on my forehead and round my eyes so far and am frequently told I look a lot younger than I am but I’m genuinely feeling quite stressed about my lines now my friends have none!

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 26/07/2020 19:26

If you don’t want it don’t have it. What’s right for one person isn’t necessarily right for someone else.

Alsohuman · 26/07/2020 20:01

I wouldn’t inject poison into my face for anyone. We have no idea what the long term effects are. Be your own person, OP.

thedevilinablackdress · 26/07/2020 20:31

I'm sorry you're feeling that way. Do you really want to potentially tie yourself into a lifetime of paying for something you don't want, to make your face look frozen?

Original poster
Pitterpatterpotter · 26/07/2020 20:48

I’m not a peer pressure kind of person and am very different to a lot of my friends which I’ve never had an issue with e.g had children much younger, very different type of career, I’m the only one who goes to church etc!
This stems from the fact I do fear getting older and am more insecure about this than I appear. I’ve always had a young looking fairly ‘pretty’ face but know it won’t last forever. I am not particularly fashionable or ‘cool’ and one of my friends said Botox was the new normal which I wasn’t sure about.

OP posts:
Thateverlastingyes77 · 26/07/2020 20:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floisme · 26/07/2020 21:05

What is it you're afraid of?

Bella2020 · 26/07/2020 21:07

You'll still be pretty with a few lines here and there. You'll probably look a lot better than some of the shiny, frozen faces we see on Botox users.

I'm just doing my best to look after my skin, keeping it clear and radiant. I don't intend to have Botox. Like another poster has said, why inject poison under your skin.

Alsohuman · 26/07/2020 21:12

Middle aged women who have Botox don’t look younger. They look like middle aged women who’ve has Botox.

Marpan · 26/07/2020 21:17

I feel pressure too.
I’m 20 years younger than my brothers wife, she gets it a lot and constantly asks why I haven’t as if I’m some kind of alien.
I think it makes people have giant faces

Fairylane · 26/07/2020 21:19

I think it’s the new normal. A lot of people have it. But that doesn’t mean you should. I have friends who do not have it. It’s just not for them and very beautiful.

You will be saving a lot of money if you don’t have Botox. You will also look more like the real you - your confidence in your appearance is key to how attractive you appear.

I have had it for years and I’ve also had other subtle work done. No one can tell. I just look very well/healthy/fresh for my age. I had very low self esteem as a young woman and have other physical attributes I dislike but can’t change and am overweight. Having my fave fixed is worth it for me as I feel so much happier.

Fairylane · 26/07/2020 21:20

Sorry for typos Blush

Fairylane · 26/07/2020 21:38

Middle aged women who have Botox don’t look younger. They look like middle aged women who’ve had Botox

This is so true. I think the ‘giant faces’ are from fillers. Botox paralyses the muscles. My dr does it subtley so there is still some movement. I like that she ‘underdoes’ me.

I’ve had lots of surface treatments and a couple of mini facelifts rather than lots of fillers. The bloated / cushiony look is overdone work. I aim to look my age .... but I also want to appears like I have good genes, have worn sunscreen all my life, eat my 5 a day, sleep 8 hours a night, drink plenty of water and do yoga Grin

Just do what you want, or you will end up unhappy. I can’t believe someone would be so rude as to suggest you have Botox. It’s such a personal matter.

Raimona · 26/07/2020 21:43

If you have Botox for a few years your face muscles gradually atrophy through lack of use and lose their fullness. So you then need to go for expensive electro-stimulant treatments which use electrodes to shock the muscles and exercise them. The electric treatments cost a lot more than the Botox.

justanotherneighinparadise · 26/07/2020 21:44

Do whatever you want to do.

Original poster
Pitterpatterpotter · 26/07/2020 21:47

Your responses have been very kind thank you.
I fear getting old probably because I fear death (different issue completely). I’ve had body image issues in the past but have always quite liked my face and one friend in particular makes Botox sound very appealing.

OP posts:
Stripesgalore · 26/07/2020 21:49

I started working with someone who obviously had a lot of Botox. She kept saying everyone thought she was a lot younger than she was and asking me how old I thought she was.

I thought she looked 40 and would usually take 5 years off (to be polite) but as it was so important to her I said 30.

She was very angry as she said people usually said early twenties. I felt really awful because it was a new job. She was 38.

I think Botox can look a bit like a hard boiled egg. I know some people who have had 11s filled who look amazing, but I think people would be better aiming for skin that looks healthy rather than young. There are some older actresses who look amazing but they still don’t really look young. Young skin is kind of chubby and babyish, which is gorgeous, but you can’t really get it back.

Onthetrain75 · 26/07/2020 22:00

Dear god no it’s not the new normal! I think it’s terrible how many women half my age think it’s normal. Botox and fillers generally just make you look “filled” not necessarily younger. Look at Trinny Woodall, attractive woman but I don’t like what she’s done to her face. Only do what you feel is right for you.

Floisme · 26/07/2020 23:46

I fear getting old probably because I fear death
Me too. Lots of things about getting old annoy me but the big fears are failing health, failing cognitive powers, losing friends and family, death and lying on my deathbed thinking, 'But I've not finished yet!' As we all know, Botox won't help a single one of them.

This doesn't mean I'm not vain, but the changes in my looks that I've found the hardest (so far) are sagging, loss of jawline and thinning hair. Wrinkles, by comparison, are a piece of piss. The industry pushes Botox because wrinkles are low hanging fruit.

Popc0rn · 27/07/2020 00:03

I think sometimes botox looks good, most of the time it looks not so good. One of our neighbours has the shinest forehead that doesn't move at all, I can't stop staring at it when she talks Blush. Also a colleague had botox for a couple of years, and then stopped, her forehead looks really weird now, like it's got rolls rather than wrinkles?

toastmeahotcrossbun · 27/07/2020 00:07

Floisme is spot on.

I get where you're coming from OP, and I have a former friend who told me I should get botox Hmm it does seem to be a thing that when people have it they want their friends to get it too. Perhaps to confirm to themselves that they've done the right thing?

I do have wrinkles but thought that it was a big investment because nobody does it just once (and if you stopped, your wrinkles might suddenly become more noticeable rather than just kind of evolving naturally) and when I totted up the overall cost I thought I'd rather spend that on holidays and enjoying myself, taking my dcs to places and so on.

Now that I'm into the saggy face/thinning hair phase I'm glad I didn't bother with botox, totally not worth it. Plus I'd now have bits of my face not matching other bits. It could easily become a slippery slope for that reason.

But peer pressure is a real thing and it takes courage to ignore all that and just do your own thing.

nanbread · 27/07/2020 00:53

I know what you mean OP.

I look very haggard from chronic lack of sleep thanks to children and anxiety. It's aged me a lot, and that plus poor genes means I look my age and then some.

My older sister has been having Botox and fillers for a while now and despite being 7 years older than me she looks younger! People often comment how she hasn't aged etc

But not everyone does it by any stretch. I'm pretty sure only a few school mums do and of my other friends only a handful are at it. The majority aren't. I'd guess around 20% of women I know. I'm in my 40s.

Thisismytimetoshine · 27/07/2020 01:03

I’m not a peer pressure kind of person
If you're feeling "under pressure" to join in, then you are.

picklemewalnuts · 27/07/2020 08:08

I watched Ocean's 8 last night, and found two of the actresses so different I had to look up old photos to check. It's a shame.

fishonabicycle · 27/07/2020 10:13

It's all part of the fetishising and worshipping of youth. Look 'young' at any expense - which is crazy as most of the young people that we see on tv etc are totally ignorant and pretty valueless. Just keep yourself fit and healthy, be informed and interesting and you will be just fine x

Alsohuman · 27/07/2020 12:10

I was thinking about this thread and it occurred to me that the incoming recession may well put paid to people messing about with their faces. If you find yourself redundant, what’s the first thing you’ll stop doing to save money? I reckon all the lower end providers will go under and it will become the preserve of the wealthy, just as it began.

I can only see that as a positive thing. I’ve already noticed a lot more grey hair around as people couldn’t get it coloured during lockdown and have discovered it’s not terrible after all. The beauty industry is going to take a real hammering over the next few years.