Please be gentle - but what can I do to help myself feel less MEH?

[GabrielleChanel]

I have started a thread earlier in chat about my MEH house
and started it with the explanation about my nails and lips.
But I realise I need help for me too.
I always used to wear bright red nail varnish as it made me feel like I had my shit together even when I absolutely did not.

I went for a make up lesson pre-lockdown and she converted me to red liptstick which makes me feel confident and with it. But I am not really leaving the house much so have been wearing much less makeup - Since Coronavirus/all the handwashing I have moved to a clear gloss on nails because I can see how clean my nails are better.

But I realise that this "polish" is something I am striving for and I think makes one look less frumpy. i am working on the lockdown lumpiness (could do with losing 2 stone total - have lost 2lbs since Sunday!) but that will take a while I think.
I have bought well fitting bras and have little budget but feel very frumpy.

Are there other things you do?

What do you think makes someone look confident/like one has one's shit together?
My plan is to fake it until I make it

(NB I know the irony of my username - I was searching for inspiration and hit on my perfume bottle!)

Thanks in advance

I have a couple of 'my lips but better' lipsticks. You do have to hunt for that perfect shade, but they are great for casual says. A tinted lip balm works just as well. I have Vaseline in the pink tub.

I always have my toe nails painted in a bright colour. My finger nails always chip, so I tend to wear more neutral colours, but I like bright colours for my toes.

Coincidently, before lockdown, I started to buy 'one mile wear' for my wardrobe. The concept is clothing that is smart enough to run errands in, but casual enough to be considered lounge wear. Mine consists of slim fit joggers, t shirts and a couple of waterfall cardigans. I love my one mile wear as I feel suitably put together to go out in the world if I need to. Joggers are neutrals, and I have a selection of t shirts in an autumn palette.

Finally, some nice hair clips for tying my hair up.

What do you think makes someone look confident/like one has one's shit together?

1. Clean, brushed and neat hair;
2. Manicure/pedicure - clean, neat nails (personally I prefer short (working with keyboard) red (favorite color) nails);
3. Clear skin - clean, tone and use masks! (my motto);
4. Waxed/shaved/epilated (I feel confident when I epilate legs, armpits and lady bits) - obviously some things are not visible, but gives internal confidence of being pampered;
5. Clean wrinkle free clothes.

Sadly I have let myself slip during lockdown

That is a really interesting concept
I wfh even before coronavirus and live in jeans and a top/dresses and boots
But have struggled with that one mile west concept - having not heard of it.
Thanks for replying

I have purposely continued to wear makeup throughout lockdown because it makes me feel good. Sometimes it might just be blusher and clear mascara but I know it’s there.
For me a hot brush, it gives my hair some omph.
Painted toenails. Always red for me.

Think about the colours/patterns that you are using.

What makes you feel good?

OP you may want to look at some of the Princessing threads if everything needs an overhaul. I picked up lots of good tips on them.
Also there is another thread with a similar sentiment to your own running here

thanks lockdownalli - i know about princessing but hadn't thught about it really but that's a good idea

I am not sure if you want to "feel" put together, or "look" put together? Maybe it's the same thing.

Do you like perfume? I find it helps. Get yourself a testing kit with many different samples to try. And underwear? Exciting bras that haven't lost their shape?

I find scent, blow drying my hair, and good underwear help immensely in feeling good about myself. Maybe it doesn't look much different, but I feel better..

Also as I get older I am getting an affinity for soft fabrics. Maybe try wearing your silks and cashmere more, rather than saving them for an unknown future special occasion

Sleep! Earlyish, regular bedtime if at all possible. It’s made a huge difference to me during lockdown still look haggard as fuck but I feel better!

I know how you feel. I wear dresses at home. Uniqlo do some ones that are floaty but make you look presentable. I have some earrings And necklaces by my dress and pop them on before a zoom call. I use makeup every day but it’s minimal. Eyebrow pencil, tinted moisturiser and bronzer. A tinted lip balm sometimes. I tint my eyebrows and eyelashes at home once a month.
Every Sunday I use my Philips Lumea (different parts every week but that means all areas are covered every 4weeks. I no longer need to shave in between. I also do a pedicure every Sunday night. The salons are opening now and I did my first gel nails for months. I used to do my own dip nails during lockdown but never really got the hang of it.

Well, I have terrible self esteem and feel very unattractive every day due to the weight I’ve put on, but I find that doing my eyebrows every morning and having nicely filed/shaped nails with polish helps me feel at least little bit more ‘polished’ and attractive

I've been trying to perfect the neutral stylish loungewear look!
Wash and dry your hair. Minimal make up
, concentrate on skincare routine, tint and shape eyebrows.
Shave/ wax/ pluck/ moisturise: I'm enjoying having the time to do this in lockdown! Never used to bother moisturising hands and feet !
Look up 'coral pearl' on Instagram, she rocks the lounge wear and natural/ no make up look.

I have been feeling this in lockdown too, have dug out some slightly smarter clothes instead of the battered jeans and scruffy jumpers I was wearing and I feel so much better, even if I am not going out.

I work from home and always shower, blow dry my hair and put on a little bit of makeup before work. I have also started doing my nails again too.

My aunty was really stylish and used to say that even if you were dressed casually you should always look like you have made a bit of an effort, it boosts your confidence and makes people take you seriously. This has always stayed with me, even if I dont always come up to her standards!

I'm with you!

Since lockdown and WFH I've been letting my hair air dry, not shaving my legs, not wearing make up. I'm lucky if I've actually washed my hair and put clothes on. I've been in a perpetual state of greasy bun and leggings or pj bottoms. (though I must say my hair is in better condition from not heat styling)

Tomorrow I'm going to do my nails and toes red, and have a long bath and face mask.

those of you who tint eyebrows and lashes at home, how do you do it? I worry I will mess it up! what do you use?

Also, what is the best shade for nails to look polished, confident and professional (for work)?

Sorry to hijack the thread!

Throughout lockdown I have carried on as normal, without wearing work clothes for WFH. I knew if I started knocking about in joggers and no makeup it would damage my mental health, plus I teach, so lots of video stuff (now on holiday, but sticking to my guns!)

So, for me this has been -

Nice outfit - often jeans t-shirt, proper footwear, no slippers!
Makeup - I always wear red lipstick, even if I am just at the kitchen table
Nails painted - I always do my own so no change
Pedicure once a week - again, I always do my own anyway
Hair washed, dried, straightened - I cannot wait to get it cut next weekend!
Perfume
I tint brows and lashes as standard, and have kept this up as usual
Shaving - I am mega hairy, so in summer it’s daily, but in winter usually only once a week for legs/bikini line
I always have a bath on a Sunday and do a face mask

After 5, I might be straight into loungewear, but it has definitely helped me to keep up my normal routine.

bonniebanks I buy Strictly Professional tint from Amazon - I do lashes blue/black, and brows brown, but they obviously have different shades. You need a developer too. I initially bought a kit that came with a mixing bowl and brush, which was useful, now I just get tint and developer. I also have a couple of mascara spoolies I got from my eyebrow lady. You need Vaseline or something similar to stop the dye staining, and if you are just starting I might do one eye at a time the first go.

If you are looking for a 'my lips but better' lipstick, the best one I've found is L'Oréal rose de Bois. It's massively cheaper than some of the ones I've loved before but is just as good.

Coloured toe nails, summer and winter.

Pretty matching lingerie also makes me feel good when l get dressed in the morning. It’s something l aspire to rather than always achieve though. Every time l buy a new bra (l avoid white and beige; the latter looks like cardboard on me) l buy 2 pairs of matching knix. Regardless, l always try to ensure what’s underneath goes together.

This is really interesting as I was feel8ng this way last year. Heavily pregnant and just feeling that I looked like crap. My husband always looks really put together too, even in shorts and t-shirts and it made me feel even worse, it got to the point where I didn't even want to go out together.

First thing I did was got a fringe cut. I didn't have one before. Even if I don't want to blow dry, straighten my hair, I always shower each morning and at least dry and style my fringe. It makes a HUUUUGE difference. Then I just put the rest of my hair in a high messy bun.

Smashbox primer, even if I'm at home. It gives a better complexion.

CC tinted moisturiser 🙌🙌🙌

I have 2 or 3 pairs of nice trainers that I wear. I wipe them down before I wear them and keep them in the box. They're not super posh, just Nike and Converse, but I look after them.

Decent bra. And a good sports bra for home.

In the winter I have some nice harem style jogging bottoms that I wear with Kari Traa merino tops and knitted socks. The Kari Traa is my one mile wardrobe. Super comfy and cosy, but fitted and in beautiful colours and patterns so you look put together.

A separate set of clothes for work which have a lot of fabrics that don't crease.

I'm still trying to get my shit together, but I feel a lot better than I did 12 months ago. I need to work on my nails, i hate the feeling of polish on my fingers, but i dont mind it on my toes. But I've learnt how to wax my own face and eyebrows which has been great.

@Judystilldreamsofhorses I do my own eyebrows, but how do you tint your own lashes? I just can't do it!

Sorry tagged the wrong person @JimLaheysWhiskeyBottle

Mac Velvet Teddy lipstick, Dandelion blusher from Benefit and a bit of mascara = dead to almost alive in two minutes for me.

Otherwise, I am a complete mess and have no advice, but I wanted to get onto the thread and see what other people say. :)

@ElizabethinherGermanGarden

If you are looking for a 'my lips but better' lipstick, the best one I've found is L'Oréal rose de Bois. It's massively cheaper than some of the ones I've loved before but is just as good.

Agree with this - another fan of Bois de Rose lipstick by L'Oreal. It's just as good as my Estee Lauder lipsticks but half the price, and a perfect colour.

littledonk I have always tinted my own lashes. My mum is really fair and did hers when I lived at home, so I started getting in on the act from my teens!

This is what I do.

Mix up tint
Use Vaseline and put that above and below my eyes, thickly
Apply tint as if I was putting on mascara, using a spoolie. Concentrate on lower lashes.
Take the paint brush type brush, and use that on the lash line, and to get the ends of individual lashes. I use a magnifying mirror to make sure I have everything covered.
Wait ten minutes.
Remove with dry cotton pad, then damp cotton pad.

I do both eyes at once, but you could do one at a time if you find it tricky, My mum lies down for ten minutes while the tint takes, but I tend not to do that.