Where do you shop if you are 48, overweight and don't want to look like an old frump

[smartiecake]

I have completely lost any sense of my own style or even what looks nice now. I'm not a fan of trying things on in shops. I'm a size 16/18. I think lockdown has made me worse as i have been living in jeans for months. At work i usually wear dresses which i like.
When not at work i have no idea what to wear, and dislike most things in my wardrobe.
Where do i begin? Help needed please. I think i look young, people tell me i do. I dont want to look like an old frumpy mum.

I used to wear a lot of Next but the one near me appears to have turned into The Sleeveless Dress Shop which doesn't suit me at all I am mid fifties and barrel shaped. Bloody fed up with looking mumsy.

I have had a huge style crisis and have just signed up to Stitch Fix and am getting a box of new clothes delivered at the start of September, as I have enough t shirts etc to see me through the rest of lockdown summer. It took me quite a while to go through all the questions, as they asked me all about what I like and dislike, but hopefully that will all be worth it when I get a box of wonderful new clothes that suit and flatter eh? I have only gone for the cheapest option in terms of value per item but I might increase that in the winter if I fancy some cashmere.

A couple of colleagues have raved about it and I had no luck with Lookiero so I will let you know how it goes.

@BikeRunSki what a bitch! I hope she got too big to wear their clothes.

I've bought quite a lot recently . My work wardrobe is mostly...

Dresses: Hush and Toast
Trousers: Hobbs, Uniqlo and Whistles
Tops: Uniqlo and Boden (shirts)

I also make quite a lot of clothes myself. I'm tall and well endowed, and can get a better fit that way.

@sophiestew me too! Yes I started to use Stitch Fix and love it.

Here's my £15 off referral code if anyone wants to try it out with no risk

www.stitchfix.co.uk/invite/ffztmxfkwh?sod=w&som=c&g=w

The stuff I got was Mango and Warehouse. Really pleased with it and don't usually shop in those places. I had got into a M&S rut which I suspect is even more embarrassing than Next.

I like the look of Hush but hear the quality is really hit and miss which puts me off really. I don't want to spend all that money and then have it fall apart after a couple of washes....

@TheFallenMadonna I wish I had your skills. I would love to be able to make my own clothes but am dreadfully ham fisted and incapable.

OP try Yumi and Studio 8 (off shoot of phase8 but larger sizes and slightly less frumpy than P8)

Thanks, Lockdown. I'd never heard of that, sounds great!

Stitch Fix looks interesting! Thanks for the recommendation

I’m curious about Stitch Fix. I tried the M&S “Tuesday” service, where they sent me weekly emails and links of things I might like, but the questions were not refined enough for me to tell them specifics. Can Stitchfix account for:
1 - I have size 9 feet
2- I have a very long, disproportionately long back for my height, but an also bit prepared to flaunt my flabby middle aged midriff
3- I have very pronounced calf muscles, and nothing skinny/slim leg fits unless they is a good amount of Lycra in their too. But I prefer trousers to skirts.
4- I can’t wear heels. Broken ankle as a teen has never recovered properly.
5- anything > 20% synthetic fibre against my skin really aggravates my psoriasis.

Matalan has some nice dresses at times also next , next online also sells some dp, yours , evans stuff

It's not the shop overall, it's the things they sell. I find one shop isn't able to be my 'go to' anymore. I wouldn't shop at Next, their stuff fits me all wrong and I look awful. I wear H&M rather than Primark as it fits me better. M&S clothes tend to fit quite well, but on me much of it looks frumpy. There are certain things I avoid as the minute I put them on, the mirror shouts "Dowdy". I include in this group fitted knitted jumpers (bosom like Hattie Jacques) loafers (thick calves and cankles), skirts that are neither fitted pencil nor full (1980s school skirt) and anything with a collar (Nursie from Blackadder, shrinks my neck, bloats my chins).
I do find I stick to a uniform of sorts and buy it from wherever I find a nice item. I'm too fat for Whistles at the mo, which was always my favourite.

Initially I mis-read the title of your post as not wanting to ‘look like Donald Trump’ and was about to say that’s an entirely understandable opinion. Anyhow, I’m just tentatively posing a thought: new rhyming slang, anyone? ‘Does this jumpsuit make me look a bit of a Donald Trump?’ (Eventually shortened to Donald).

But to the actual question at hand: I strongly support wearing whatever makes you feel happy and smile whenever you put it on; if you feel compelled to twirl, so much the better. Feeling good will make you look better. Don’t worry about fashion - a wise person described it as ‘something so ugly they have to change it every six months.’ Checkout ‘Advanced Style’ blog - men and women of all ages who wear what they like and enjoy themselves.

Trousers that never fail in the beautifully cut, magically flattering stakes are Oska, a german brand, eye-wateringly expensive but lots pop up on eBay.

Oh and, once it’s possible to get out there, embrace charity shopping for inspo’ and no guilt if you decide something’s not your style: just re-donate.

@BikeRunSki on shoe sizes, I just went through the stitch fix questionnaire and they only give shoe size options up to a 41/7.5, which is no good for me (8).

Thanks @Ohdeariedear, I suspected that might be the case, No point asking anyone if their feet are bigger than a 7 or 8, because barely anyone makes shoes bigger anyway!

Craftycorvid oh my goodness i can confirm i don't look like Donald Trump in any way thankfully. Just trying to avoid frumpy middle age.
Thanks there are some really good tips on here. Today i actually went shopping and bought a few new tops and have ordered a fatface dress as there are no stores nearby. And i realised that i dont very often actually go into a shop and look at stuff, so i guess starting this will help!

2- I have a very long, disproportionately long back for my height, but an also bit prepared to flaunt my flabby middle aged midriff

Obviously, I meant NOT prepared!

I notice that Stich Fix has some very mixed reviews online. Might be worth reading before ordering.

I'm older and petite and found Stitch Fix disappointing. I shop in so many different stores now I'm in my mid to late 50s. I don't suit crew necks and very shapeless clothes so I have to really search for nice stuff that fits and I like.

@BikeRunSki

2- I have a very long, disproportionately long back for my height, but an also bit prepared to flaunt my flabby middle aged midriff

Obviously, I meant NOT prepared!

Hey, flaunt it all you like (though you’re not exactly selling yourself there )

I'm 61 and love dresses. I haven't worn jeans since I was 30- too boring for words. I'm not particularly interested in what's in fashion. I love 40s and 50s style clothes.

A lot of my clothes are from these 3 designers

palava.co/collections/womens-dresses

www.edinaronay.com/store/c19/Spring%2FSummer_2020.html

www.madham.co.uk/clothing?c=215&d=262

The longer length dresses here are for all ages

www.and-daughter.com/collections/dresses

Cos is excellent too.

I am small, fat, middleaged and constantly get told how good I look by strangers - 3x today alone, so I am emboldened to share the following tipz:

1. Absolutely no jersey tops or jeans. Except white tee shirts.If you wear jeans'n'top, you just line up as part of a comparison identity parade. Quick dressing a must too: I am a) idle b) don't want to look stiff or fussed as ageing. Always wear scent, however.
2. Put dress on, sneakers, forget about what you look like.
3. Dress as available from asos (good search function), H&M, Stories (both rightly celebrated for good cotton dresses) and M&S in sale.
4. Flat shoes always; comfortable feet = attractive face.
5. No thanks to grey, sludge, greige or similar; enough of that on body already. Ditto wrinkled fabrics - coals to Newcastle.

Absolutely no jersey tops or jeans. Except white tee shirts.If you wear jeans'n'top, you just line up as part of a comparison identity parade.

Bugger

That's my lifetime uniform gone.

Good thread. I'm 45 and a size 16. My biggest issue is my thunder thighs, I think dresses suit me if below the knee, but my thighs rub and I get sweaty
I've just ordered the chub rub shorts from Snag tights so we'll see how I get on with them.
I have found dresses from Joe Browns and a brand called Adini which suit me.

@Nat6999 is Shein UK based? Do you know what their returns service is like? Thanks

Shein is China based, but their stuff is lovely, I got 8 T shirts & 2 pairs of pyjamas for less than £120, delivery took about 10 days. I don't know about returns but sizings are accurate & everything I got fits well.

Shein keeps popping up on my Facebook and i really like the look of some of their items but i was concerned about sizing. Maybe i will order a couple of items and see how I get on. I now have a couple of dresses on order and some flattering (i hope) pretty tops. Thanks all for the tips