How not to hate my body! Clothes advice.

[KarrieKay]

I'm early 40s and until 3 years ago was fairly effortlessly slim size 8/10. I'm now firmly heading towards 12/14 and at 5ft 2 that really shows. I find myself hating my body, like really hating it but I can't motivate myself to diet because basically i never had to and i really resent having to do it now. I'm a 34dd/E but basically an hourglass figure. I have heavy thighs and my upper arms are vile.
I used to have such a lovely figure and it has all just gone downhill due to mental health issues, work stress and parenthood!
So I would love some tips on how to dress to feel my best while trying to motivate myself to get smaller again (but what if I never do).

following as in similar position but now up to more of a 14/16 and struggling to lose weight

Not much advice for you op but I'm the same height and size and it's bumming me out too!

I find I wear a lot of fitted tops tucked into long skirts (emphasises the waist, hides thighs), and dresses that come in at the waist and then out (think skater dress silhouette).

Oh long skirts with fitted tops and stretchy dresses are my go to now too! I miss my pretty sundresses and short shorts! I just never feel attractive anymore despite investing in nice underwear. It makes me realise how conditioned I am to associate pretty with slim - despite the fact my most beautiful friends are definitely bigger than me!

Bravissimo dresses are amazing for an hourglass shape. They are quite ££ but reduce them a lot in the sales.

I just feel so mumsy when I used to look quite good!

It's all retrievable - dieting might come easy for ykwu esoecially if you are naturally slim. Try intermittent fasting avoiding starchy carbs. Have protein wwjth every meal to keep you satiated and start doing dumbell style workouts to build muscle to replace the fat.
Pamper yourself after a shiwer or bath and start loving yourseekf again. Get your body to where you want it to be and then you won't have to comoromise on your clothes. You could be an 8/10 by August.

Sorry for all the typos - the spacing on my tablet keyboard is shocking

Thanks JM! I’ve been getting gradually fatter for so long now it seems insurmountable! I gave dumbbells and I’ve started doing pilates again. When I was very slim I didn’t comfort eat and was less sedentary. What intermittent fasting would you recommend? 5:2 or 16:8?

I think 16/8 is more sustainable?
You can do this

I can't suggest anything that will work for you, except eat less and exercise more. Dieting isn't the way to go. Eat from a smaller plate, and walk further. Go to an exercise class with a friend and build it into your social life. Literally, it should be as simple as that... unless you are hitting a hormonal change. My DSIL understands the principle, but still complains she can't drink Coke and eat crisps; it is her body, she lives in it, and the choice is hers to make.

I think I need help managing what to wear while I gradually lose weight! I want to look groomed and stylish to distract from my chub!

I am 5 ft 4 . A few years ago my weight went up to 10 stone. I did the 5:2 for several months . It was rubbish on the fast days but I found it easier to have willpower 2 days a week , than trying to limit myself all the time. The weight loss was slow but I got down to 8 stone 10 and have maintained that.
I think blouses that you can unbutton over a vest top that skim over your middle can look great with jeans , and smart with a jacket on top

I’m an hourglass too. I’m not overweight- my shape has been massively improved with kettle bell workouts! It’ll fix your bum / thighs and upper arms very quickly, keeping u motivated! Good luck!

To be honest if you got to your 40s being effortlessly slim AND hourglass to boot you got significantly lucky.
They call it middle age spread for a reason.
Tackle it now before you get even bigger. Good luck.

I wish I’d tackled it sooner to be honest Jaja! I just didn’t have the willpower or mental energy due to crippling depression. Now I’m depressed and fat

You are not fat! reset your mindset and be kind to yourself.
Get a beautiful flowing summer dress.
Flat front side zip trousers are the most flattering I find.
Lovely structured blazer to nip you in at waist with a flowing linen shirt underneath.
Jumpsuit s can look fab esoecially with a side wrap tue bekt fastening.

You are lovely JM1 I feel bad even viewing heavier as bad as it feels so fatphobic. Ive downloaded some books on self compassion to try and master my hormonal mood swings. Hoping diet will also help with that - I’m sure sugar cravings are not helping!