Dressing in your 30s

[Busylizzie367]

I have recently had 2 babies in the last couple of years so I've spent that time in slobbish, practical clothing while going through the newborn stages. However, I am now at the point of wanting to look somewhat nice again but feel completely lost with fashion. I am constantly ordering things online and nearly everything ends up being returned. I feel like shops either cater for the teens/early 20s (ie Asos, Zara, Topshop), or they cater for the 40s and over (M&S, Wallis). I find that a lot of clothes seem to be designed too skintight and clingy. I would like flattering clothes that aren't going to show off every lump and bump. I am 5 foot 7 and weigh 146lbs, so am not fat but not exactly skinny either. I have smallish boobs and a bit of a belly I would rather wasn't on show to the world. Ultimately I would like to look my age (33) in a flattering way. Can anybody suggest the shops I should be going for? Thanks in advance.

Monki, ASOS white, cos, whistles.

Asos / New look do loads of different midi / smock dresses, they have became my go to. Especially if they are tiered, I find they just cut me in the right places (at the waist and float over the belly lumps and bumps). Great with bare legs in the better weather or tights and boots in the winter!

Thanks for the suggestions so far.

I used to buy a lot in Warehouse, but now they have sadly closed their stores, I see myself replacing them with Mango. I have ordered from them twice already during lockdown and I am so happy with the clothes I’ve bought, good value for money too.

I am 40 but I find a lot of things that I like in Zara too, I don’t think Zara’s clothes are for 20 year olds, they’ve got a younger line and another more for adults. I don’t like it to buy online though.

I'm 37 and have the same figure I had ten years ago so still wear my clothes from then (frugal) but also still shop at Topshop, Asos, boohoo etc.
I try to like the more mature shops but my mum wears white stuff, boden, joules, uniqlo, hush etc and she is thirty years older than me so I just can't do it yet.
Thirties isnt old. You can still carry off youthful styles and I estimate you as a size 10-12 so pretty slim?

I am later 30’s but I like a mainly classic wardrobe with a pop of on trend. I have learnt what colours work for me, the best skincare/hair are, the ideal daily make up, the value of great underwear and finally the joy of comfortable shoes!

I shop in Zara, topshop, new look, Oliver bonas, monsoon, M&S, boden, & other stories, COS, Hush, Mint Velvet, TU Sainsbury’s, F&F Tesco, Mango, H&M, Jigsaw, sissy (if abroad), Sewaty Betty, primark, Anthropologie and whistles. Quite a wide range.

I like Trinny Woodall for inspiration... not to copy but her instagram stories on how to wear things, colour, acessories etc are great.

Really appreciate all the responses. I'll have a look at some of these shops online. Such a shame we can't even try clothes on when shops do eventually reopen, it's a hassle returning things. Hotsince82 yes I'm roughly a size 10 or 12.

I’m in my 30s and this summer I want:
Culottes (elastic waistband with pockets)
Boxy short T-shirts
A denim jacket that’s a bit oversized
Midi dresses - a floaty one with sleeves and a skimming T-shirt one with side splits (currently hunting for this)
A-line midi skirt in thin cotton - mine is black with spots
A minidress with T-shirt sleeves - don’t ask me why but after years of only liking long sleeves and thinking T-shirt-shaped sleeves didn’t suit me they’ve become fashionable and I want them!
Boiler suit
Pinafore-shaped wide-leg dungaree jumpsuit (haven’t picked one yet)

I’m looking on ASOS, topshop, and other stories, Zara, Oliver Bonas and H&M, but my budget is quite low.

Oh, and jeans-wise I’m wearing barrel-leg high waisted, slightly cropped. All with plimsoles, Birkenstocks or Stan smiths.

Just in my 40s but tend to go for a lot of the concessions in House of Fraser and Debenhams. I also mix, cheap and dearer together, say a cheap, but carefully chosen New Look top with something like a Jaeger skirt.

Lingerie is a mix mainly of John Lewis and M&S.

I think it's what you buy not where you buy it really, in a way- I'm early 30's, consider that that is relatively pretty young and still buy in Zara and Asos. They both have younger ranges which I wouldn't find wearable but equally I think both, especially Zara, sell a lot of clothing an 18 or 20 year old wouldn't go near with a barge pole and both sell plenty of basics and nods to trends alongside their more fast fashion pieces.

Otherwise I shop frequently in H&M, Mango, &otherstories, stradivarius occasionally, Topshop for jeans lately I like their Editor ones and the slim mom jeans and the odd top or dress.

I don't look at Hush, Boden, joules etc and find it resonates with my style at all, my DM shops in them so that is perhaps why but it isn't for me.

As a rule my general day to day outfit would be straight cut or slim mom style jeans, something tucked in (shirt, jumper with rolled up sleeves, t-shirt), gold layered necklaces and trainers/sandals/boots weather depending. The same but a t shirt and oversized blazer if I need smart casual or add low heeled sandals.

Dresses wise I'm enjoying smock dresses and midi dresses with sleeves for this in between weather and layering a jumper over if its chilly.

Tops wise my go to are shirts, tucked or tied at the waist, 3/4 sleeve breton or and I've been getting into the shirred square neck tops for summer, with a slight balloon sleeve. Really peps up a pair of jeans or shorts and sandals.

Mango is good, & other stories have lovely summer dresses

I'm a bit at this idea - and I keep seeing it on S&B - that 30-something women are some kind of forgotten demographic. I would say the main issue is that you've had two babies close together, which plays havoc with your life and your body. I sympathise.

I also think it's absurd to write off mainstream shops at 33. I'm in my 60s and I can still find things in Zara, New Look and H&M. But I only buy from them when I can visit in person and that, I suggest is your second issue.

I know we've had no choice lately and that, even when they reopen, shops and babies don't mix well. But I would still argue that the shops you're excluding have some good stuff amidst the trash. It's nigh on impossible to spot it onscreen though, which is how we end up in that wretched spiral of ordering and returning.

The other thing I would recommend, if you haven't already done so, is upgrading your underwear - it helps you get away with cheaper fabrics.

@floisme I think being in your 30s is a difficult age. You're a proper grown up but you dont want to feel too old before your time. I am in my late 30s and i feel like im not catered for as much as those in their teens and 20s and those over 40. A lot of bloggers ive come across are over 40 or in their 20s.

I feel i dont want to dress like im in my twenties anymore but i dont want to dress like im 50 either.
i like stuff that covers up the lumps and bumps but i dont want a tent.

High street shops are full of high fashion and cheap fabrics. I want classic pieces that i can keep into my 40s and 50s but still look with it. I tend to find shops which cater for over 40s tend to have higher quality pieces, why cant we?

Yes of course you may get bored with your style in your 30s, just as you can at any age. But you still have have at least half the high street wanting to dress you. If you seriously think it's going to get easier into your forties and fifties, when ageing and body changes really do start to kick in, then all I can say is good luck with that.

Op apologies for starting a derail and I won't post again. The main point I wanted to make is that there is good stuff in the shops you're overlooking but that you're probably not going to find it online.

I am 35 and I agree with PP who said that it isn't so much where you shop but what you get from there. I would say that the only noticeable difference in my style as I age is better fabrics and quality as my disposable income has increased. And perhaps a bit more coverage.

So I have always worn (work) pencil skirts, blouses, blazers, cropped trousers, capes etc. But now it is midcentury vintage (etsy), The Fold, Theory, Aspinal, Libby London etc. where it used to be Topshop, Oasis and Warehouse. And Accessorize!

For casual, I have always worn jumper dresses and boots, jeans and a jumper but now it is Pure Collection/Baukjen/Theory wool and cashmere and J Brand jeans as opposed to Zara and Topshop.

Actually, I do find myself wearing informal shoes and jackets a lot more than I did when I was younger. 10 years ago, I wouldn't have been seen dead in sneakers outside the gym. Or in a parka.

Apart from the preponderance of synthetic fabrics even in designer shops, I have no difficulty in finding clothes which suit me and my lifestyle. And seeing as people usually think I am a good deal younger than I am, hopefully I am at least not dressing too old :)

I don’t think 30s dressing is any harder/easier than 40s/50s+ but it’s the first transition. In that you start to consider is stuff age appropriate... Which didn’t cross my mind in my 20s.

Ideally we’d not care about being age appropriate and just wear what looks good. I both lack the confidence for that and also don’t know what looks good. Hence I lurk in threads like these. I love reading about those with style and aspire to it..

I feel like shops either cater for the teens/early 20s (ie Asos, Zara, Topshop), or they cater for the 40s and over (M&S, Wallis).

Why is the 40 the magical age that means you have to suddenly start shopping at places you wouldn't in your 20's and 30's? I'm 41 and haven't suddenly started shopping in either Wallis or M&S but I'm sure there many 30 somethings that do.
Anyway I digress... as I say I'm 41 and still buy clothes in the same stores as I did in my 30's. I still love TopShop and New Look but also love Hush, Oliver Bonas and more recently have discovered Sezane which is just amazing for a special few bits.
It really just depends on your own style rather than what age you are in my opinion. The only thing that changed for me in my thirties style-wise is that I didn't buy as many 'going out' clothes as after child number 3 I wasn't really going out in the evening as much as I used to so started focusing more on everyday casual clothes. I also started wearing a lot more dresses - something I hadn't done much beforehand but felt a bit braver to try new things as I got a bit older.

I’m mid 40s and am still interested in fashion and looking good! I’ve found some really nice summery dresses in & Other Stories, ASOS, Boohoo and (this was totally unexpected) Abercrombie & Fitch and Hollister. I had kind of written off the latter two ages ago but got lured in by Facebook ads and found some great summer clothes.

I suspect that age isn’t your issue, I’m happy to still wear short things and fitted things and definitely don’t want M&S or Wallis, but that’s weird self doubt about identity we all go through when we emerge from the very young baby days and need to find our feet again style wise.

well i wore a biker jacket a few years ago mid 30s and i got some shocking reactions.... so im guessing by that i look too old to be wearing it... 2 older women laughed at me and i actually heard them say look at what she is wearing omg, then i went in another shop and these two women who didnt look all that great themselves if im honest had the cheek to look at me and said.. what the hell does she think she looks like? looking me up and down..

i mean these people who are fully grown mature adults by the way seemed far too offended by a black biker jacket on a stranger..? i found it quite puzzling and ive never heard people actually saying insults at me that i can hear, they are usually discreet about it at least.. so i never wore that jacket again but i feel that people should beable to wear what they want, nothing to do with anyone else.. would like to know why women get so offended and hurt by some person they dont know wearing a black jacket though lol i do like tie dye stuff long maxi skirts, that happens to be in fashion at the minute but ive never followed fashion, just like what i like, its hard for women to feel like free spirits when others are so judgy

That’s so weird! @letsjust and so rude of them. I wear a black leather biker jacket all the time. I think they’re pretty standard wear for all ages.

I think you should just shop where you like to shop. Don’t fall into the age trap - all shops cater for all women, they can’t afford to exclude. Zara /Mango in Spain is usually rammed with older women!

I'm 40s and I occasionally buy bits from Monki, Zara, ASOS and H&M still - but am VERY picky about what.

Whistles I find expensive for the quality. Cos and Kin at John Lewis can have some nice pieces.

My uniform is usually either mom jeans with a tucked in tee and trainers, or a loose dress.