Please help :(

[AngelsInWinter]

Ok so I've put off posting for a long time because I've been that depressed about my appearance that I wouldn't have been able to cope with any harsh comments. But I really want advice on how to look better because my self esteem has been destroyed.

I've always been self conscious and anxious, so when a thread vein popped up on my nose about a year ago, I immediately booked in a procedure to have it removed.

Well, I'll never know what truly happened (the lady who did it and I have different opinions on this) but after the scab came off, I was left with an indented scar on my nose, which is also white.

I've actually been suicidal over this. It's all I see when I look in the mirror. Admittedly it has got a bit better, and I had a couple of laser treatments on it just before lockdown, but I don't think they've helped. DH always says "there's nothing here, you look gorgeous" and the three friends I've confided in say they can't tell. But of course they're going to be nice about it!

Anyway, my question is... Does anyone have any bright ideas about how I can go about improving or concealing an indented, white scar? Thanks :)

Hello!

I read your post and didn't want to run.

Unfortunately I don't really have any practical tips on how to conceal it but I just wanted to say I have similar. I have an indented scar running vertical down my cheek to almost my jaw. It was a messy cut so it's not even a nice clean line. It gets even more noticeable when I grin! Because of the indent, concealer will cover the whiteness but not the actual scar.

I felt like you for ages about it, and then (this is going to sound ridiculous!!) but I remember watching Eva Green in The Salvation and thinking wow she looks... stunning. And I think it was the scar that added to it. There's quite a lot of research on scars being attractive, and when I thought about it that kinda made sense to me.

So I think I just eventually learned to love it. It doesn't even bother me now. Sometimes if I'm having a bad day, hair up in a bun, no make up, no effort, and my skin is going through a bad patch I'll do that mirror thing and think "damn I look rough as toast". But if I embrace it and work with it, then I'm generally happy when I look in the mirror.

I'm sorry I couldn't actually help, but maybe you'll find some comfort in knowing that you might not always hate it so much

Thank you @Chokablok. Hope this doesn't sound bad but I was served in a shop a bit ago by a girl who had a scar just like you describe, and I thought she looked really pretty.

I feel like I could accept it more if I'd been scarred in an accident or something, but every day I beat myself up for being so stupid to actively go and have this done to me. If that makes any sense

@AngelsInWinter have you tried stage make up or the make up that can be used to cover port wine stains? It has a thicker coverage and may also fill the scar a little bit.

I know what you mean about scars. I have keloid skin and recently had a c section. The scar I’m left with protrudes about a centimeter from my stomach and is red and angry looking 12 months on I know people won’t see it but I can feel it all the time and can’t wear normal knickers anymore

I hope you find something that works.

@Puds11 I have an old tube of Dermaflage I think it's called, but it makes my dry skin looks worse. I'm working on the dryness but of course when my self esteem is really low I give up!

Congratulations on your baby (we must have given birth around the same time? My baby is 1 on the 4th of July). Really sorry to hear that. But like you say, I expect it is FAR worse to you than it could ever be to anyone else x

Could you try blending it so you only use it on the scar? Or is this an area of dry skin too?

Congratulation to you too I can’t complain about the scar too much, it was an emergency c section resulting in a healthy baby. Things could have been much worse!

@AngelsInWinter I watched an amazing YouTube video on Nadine Baggot's channel recently with Katy Hill about facial scarring. I think Katy has done a huge amount of research in to treating facial scarring including the importance of dealing with the psychological fallout. Katy found what she thinks is the leading nhs team working with scar patients. Have a look at the video and hopefully you'll find some good advice there. Katy also did a further video with Nadine about makeup application.

I have the same scar as you OP caused by my tiny Jack Russell
Puppy about 8 years ago. Her tiny teeth kind of filleted my nose, causing a flap that was Steri-stripped down. I have a 1.5 cm indented white scar running across my nose and I hate it.

Basically I just live with it. I wear makeup daily as I always have but there's not a lot I can do with the scar. It does cover ok with foundation but people often ask what happened to my nose so I know it must be noticeable. So I feel for you xx

You could fill the dent with morticians wax and then use foundation over it if you're careful, though I'm not sure how long it'll last during the day, I k ow there was a trend in Asia last year about using wax to change your nose shape so the wax must be able to buy commercially somewhere, it's stage makeup/mortician makeup hence the name.

How big is the scar?

Could you maybe try a different lipstick or a different hairstyle or accessories so people focus on that instead.

I very much doubt people notice it but if you felt they were distracted from it that might help you?

Feeling suicidal is pretty major and you might want to think about getting some support or therapy for that.

Thanks for the lovely replies.

My nose does have dry skin on it sometimes but it's usually OK with "normal" foundation. I haven't heard of morticians wax. Will have a look. And I will look at those YouTube links, thanks :)

@BigusBumus so sorry :( I can't believe people actually ask you what happened to your nose! So rude. I also wear make up daily as I always have. I try to tell myself that so far, the scar hasn't affected my daily life, but other days I just break down and cry about it

@hopeishere I definitely need something doing with my hair. It's so long, but doesn't have much volume. I was having counselling after I started feeling suicidal about it, but that stopped when the counsellor asked me not to bring my baby to the next session (she was a breastfed newborn so I didn't have much choice)

If you have money to spend you could try a plastic surgeon who specialises in scar revision? I had 3 moles removed from my face earlier this year and the surgeon who did the procedure is a scar specialist. He talked me through the various options if the excisions caused scarring that I was unhappy with. He said they can use filler on indented scars, would that help do you think? If you could get rid of the indentation so that it was just the colour? He said filler in a scar doesn't metabolize and need re-doing in the same way as filler in lips etc. There may be lots of options to improve the scar, worth a consultatio maybe?

I have an indented scar by my eye from a fall when I was a toddler. It doesn't bother me. But I know what it's like to be bothered by a perceived flaw even when other people think it looks fine - not everyone understood why I wanted to get my moles removed, but I am SOOOO glad I did. Plenty of folk didn't even notice afterwards (including my sister!!!) But I prefer the view in the mirror now they're gone and that's all that matters to me.

I second the above post - invest in a consult with a plastic surgeon. Do loads of online research and find one that is suitably qualified.