I look drab

[fairyfingers]

I have no vibrancy in my face and look really washed out. Every time I can see myself on video calls I look so grey and awful.

Mid 40s. I don't colour my hair so it's a mix of grey and light brown. It's actually quite nice if you look at it in isolation- it has lots of different tones in it and the grey looks like highlights.

BUT I think it drains the colour from my face. I am neutral/warm toned so the cool in the grey doesn't help.

My cut is meh and I'm growing out a fringe which was a big mistake. My skin is meh even though I've been trying to brighten it with vit c and a bit of tlc.

My clothes all seem to be grey. I don't know why - I've had my colours done and know I am a bright spring and suit pinks and greens and turquoise best but I can't really get this to work with the kind of 'hush on the cheap' style I like without looking like a kids tv presenter gone to seed.

Am mid 40s. I exercise and drink water. Am a bit overweight but eat a lot of fruit and veg. I get my sleep. Apart from colouring my hair which I don't want to do, any suggestions?

You could possibly cut a fringe back in yourself. If you have the courage! Small snips.

Then look at a few clothing web sites for ideas. I think plain trousers, chinos or jeans, can always be livened up by a good top. Massimo Dutti has a few in their sale and I would start there. I don’t think bright colours in plain fabrics are the answer. I would look for good cut and interesting chic fabrics. Not sure if M&S are delivering right now but look at their shirts and Boden clearance. You could always look for quality t shirts from Cos and jazz up with a chunky necklace.

Is your skin dehydrated? I look really washed out if mine is but look far healthier when my skin is properly hydrated with a good skincare routine.

Do you take omega 3? I started taking it a few weeks ago as it came with the breastfeeding vitamins I take and it's really improved my skin! It was quite dry before- now a lot more dewy.

Thank you

Fringe was a mistake tbh. I looked v odd with it. My hair grows quickly so with a bit of luck it won't take much longer to stop being annoying.

I do try to have a good routine with skin and not to get dehydrated but not sure how that's going. Just feels yuck and spotty and lifeless no matter what I do.

No I don't mean drinking water for hydration, I meant layering hydrating products on your skin to hydrate it.

I use serums and a good hyaluronic acid as well as an oil and moisturiser.

Why don't you want to colour your hair? A golden light brown could really warm you up with some honey highlights
Maybe try a peachy pink cream cheek and lip tint to warm you up and a highlighter powder - try Stila for the former and Becca for the latter. A warm toned bb cream would also warm you up - as would a light layer of fake tan.
How about a scarf in your spring colours to ease yourself out of grey?

The ordinary vit c powder mixed into your day moisturiser really plumps skin and makes it glow.

Don’t know how you feel about makeup but I always lipstick and blush as I really need it to add vibrancy and contrast to my face

Thanks for the additional replies. Sorry, with the dehydration I meant serums etc too. I don't know whether the ones I have atm just don't really suit me but they certainly don't seem to do much.

I do wear make up at work, always foundation and lipstick to even up and brighten my face. Does help but I am awful at reapplying so by 10.30 the lippy has gone.....

Re the hair, I think some of it is that having coloured it from the ages of 15-42, finally growing it all out and going through that dreadful stage was so painful I can't face it again. Also my hair grows really really quickly and I frankly can't afford the upkeep. I love the bits where it's gone white/grey (I have a big streak on one side) it's the drab brown I object to.

I am using a vit c (the 23% ordinary one) but at the moment I'm not seeing any change and it stings a lot. Early days but if the stinging keeps up I will stop and look for an alternative. I did try a retinol as well but that seemed to do bugger all.

What about a light facial everyday tanner - they can be very subtle. I sometimes use the St Tropez one.
And do you wear make-up? I would have thought Bright Spring complexions look good with some lipstick.
My other suggestion if you wear them are earrings- can add interest and a bit of colour.

I'm in the same boat with hair, don't want to dye again either but do feel it looks a bit drab on screen.
Finally, I don't think many people look consistently good on video call.

I second the light facial tanner. It makes a huge difference. I use a Clarins gel one and it's really subtle. I only put it on every 5/6 days. Also a nice blush applied subtley. I've got a lovely one called peony from Bobbi brown and it really lifts the complexion. Some sort of subtle glow can be nice - like drunk elephant sunshine drops. You mix it in with your moisturiser. Definitely do NOT cut your own hair. A good haircut by a pro makes a massive difference. Obviously you can't get that now but go when this is over - aware that's not much immediate help. A good stylist should be able to do something to suit your face and that is low maintenance so that you don't have to keep coming back to often (if you tell them that's what you want). Also - eyelash tint and curl (LVL). I love it and no makeup sliding off. (Obviously one for when beauticians are open again). Can you get some nice hush or whistles goodies in the sales?

White shirts and something sparkly around your neck - either gold or silver jewellery depending on what looks best.
You say you eat lots of fruit and veg, but are you eating the orange and red ones?
Body brushing before and a blast of cold water after your shower might help.

I think you should look at changing the smaller details around the way you look, rather than doing anything too drastic or that requires loads of maintenance.

Have you considered balayage? It's like a form of highlights that grows out very very naturally, to be honest you would only need it done once or twice a year. You could get some honey tones over the brown bits.

How are your eyebrows? I find my face feels like an undefined blob if my eyebrows arent tinted and shaped.

I agree with the above post regarding a light facial tanner, just enough to add a slight glow. I also have the St Tropez one, it is very natural and you can just use it twice a week in lieu of moisturiser.

Rather than changing your entire wardrobe, why not just buy a few bits in the colours that suit you, for example a good quality, brightly coloured coat in pink or turquoise (I'm thinking pea or wrap style). The trick I use when trying on clothes is to ask myself if i would feel confident walking out in it here and now.

Springs do well with sparkle and shine. Try sparkly earrings or necklace and a deep conditioner on your hair.
Maybe try grey + one warm neutral like cream or tan. Then adding a bright colour shouldn’t look too kids TV presenterish.
Re: the video calls, is the background washing you out?

If you want to look good in video calls, apply make up as if you were going to appear on TV. There are some good tutorials online. has some good advice.

I agree about wearing neutrals - white or cream, caramel/tan, charcoal or marl grey, navy or khaki - according to which ones suit your skin tone and then add your brighter colours as accents through accessories.

Yes to the facial tanner, yes to the blusher.

Why can’t you wear your ‘good’ colours? Maybe time to move away from the hush look if you can’t get it in colours that suit you. You should be able to find some decent pink tops fairly easily. I look terrible with beige and cream next to my face and really notice the difference when I wear red or plum. You should work out what shapes suit you too, that will make a difference. Good luck.

Awwww thanks all. I'll look at the tanner.

I don't care about the calls per se, I've got to see my colleagues looking equally fetching. It's just seeing your own face in front of you.

I do need a better cut. I just had it done before lockdown and it was just ok. Boring really. My hairdresser is technically quite good but plays it very safe with me so I will push him a bit more.

There's usually a way to hide your own face on a video chat, then you don't have to look at yourself!

Following, some great tips

I love things like this. Makeover styles etc...I saw Kitri had some gorgeous spring coloured things just in that might suit you OP? Not terribly cheap but maybe one or two nice tops? I will also say video calls are not the most flattering and you're forced to look at your own face which can be horrendous if your camera is angled low and in bad light - no one looks good! I know it's sounds like a vanity thing but maybe locate your laptop in a flatteringly lit area and make sure it's camera is pointed at your eyeline as opposed to filming you from below?

And ps yes push your hairdresser a bit. Sometimes they can just do safe as they dont want to risk upset client. Or they have a preconceived idea of what someone who is older than them might want / or by the kind of person they think you are from your clothes....

Retinol takes a long time to work - it's not a quick fix.
Acids? Glycolic acid toner gives you an overnight pep up. As others have said, eyebrows and blusher give definition and life. I no longer have any natural colour in my lips so I look like I've been dug up without lipstick. I use a bit of tinted Vaseline at work (keep it on my desk and dip in frequently) to keep the corpse look at bay.
I have ashy blonde hair and I think I should get it coloured mid brown as it would be more flattering. When I see photos of myself with brown hair I think it looks more youthful and flattering but I've been blonde FOR EVER and I'm not sure I want to go brown again- I hated it last time.

I’m mid 40s and pretty washed out. Would agree with fake tan, also bronzer and blusher. Lining the bottom waterline with gold or rose gold eyeliner.

There’s now loads of blog posts and articles about how to look good on video calls and most of them say you need interest at neck, so maybe a big necklace, earrings or scarf in your best colours.

dk that's it re the hairdresser. It's quite a funky young place although v welcoming. It's v close to work, good price and they are good. But they invariably see me after work when I'm a bit flustered and scruffy and need to get home for the kids dinner.

I do/have used acids before and tried the retinol for a couple of months but maybe not enough. My skin was best when I was using Superdrug serum I think!

Today I have a pink vest and joggers on (and dirty hair and no make up but my nails are done ;)). I definitely look better so I think i do need to find a way to look casual in colour!

Blusher, and a better hairdresser when this is all over. More colour on your face, in a shade that's simply healthy (Stila Peony creme for me) makes you look alive. Mascara and eyebrows, and subtle emphasis on you mouth may help you through Zoom.

I notice that the people whom I see IRL as overly made up actually look far better on Zoom than I do. The resolution isn't brilliant so you need to be a bit bolder with the slap to compensate.

And no price is too high for the hairdresser who cuts your hair to suit you so you can style it at home without spending time you don't have.