Style me, please?

[Doingitforhim]

Hello.

I’m not new to mumsnet, but I never usually venture on to this board because I have never really bothered with style and beauty. I’m 56, overweight, haven’t had a professional haircut for 5 years, and spend my entire life in jeans, t shirt and fleece. I know, I sound gorgeous!

Anyway, I was recently traumatically widowed. I have been clearing out my husbands wardrobe and realised I hate all my clothes (or can’t fit into them). So, I’m ditching 75% of mine, too.

So, I need a complete new wardrobe of comfortable, practical clothes. I don’t really like shopping, so I’d like them to last, be mix and matchable and me feel a bit less like “Vera” from the tv series. Without posting a picture, the Vera character is actually quite close to my colouring, age and shape.

Which shops would you recommend? Can you link to some “looks”?

I don’t have endless funds, but willing to spend a couple of thousand if it will last me for a good while. Thanks for your help.

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and advice.

I was feeling a bit overwhelmed this morning, but I’m feeling a lot more upbeat this afternoon. @Floisme yes, I like Vera too, and your advice re fabrics is good.

@milliefiori yes! Spot on. I saw that programme and loved Julia ormond’s style. If only I could have her hair!

I am going into town tomorrow to book a hair consultation. Although I have to say the reason I stopped going was because they never bloody listened to what I wanted! But I’m going to go to a high quality salon and speak to a creative director for advice first before I go ahead.

Thanks to all.

Sorry to hear of your loss Doingitfor him .

As you have a healthy budget and are starting from scratch I would invest some time and money in having your colours and style done by House Of Colour . It will be invaluable to you and will save you a fortune on making mistakes .
I’m not affiliated in any way but am a huge fan of the company and their service.
If you are anywhere near Oxfordforshire I can recommend the lady I
went to .

*Oxfordshire

I disagree re getting colours done. Start with some basics in either navy, grey or black (whichever you prefer) and then you can add colour as you go along.

Black and grey will not suit OP with her colouring .

Not everyone suits black or grey. I certainly don't.

There are so many shades of grey that I'd be surprised if somebody couldn't wear any of them. And absolutely everybody can wear black or grey jeans, trousers and skirts.

Sorry for your loss.

I had some big changes and had an over haul - literally only had a pair of walking boots and sandals. I am a scruff by nature and am still miles away from stylish but I do get good comments about my clothes now. For me I thought about what I liked and why and sodded fashion. I like chunky boots so I bought some posh ones. I like natural fibres so I bought a couple of lovely jumpers in textures and colours that were like hugs. I can’t stand anything restrictive so I bought posh jeans with stretch and thick leggings that stay where they should and then got lots of tunics/dresses to go over them. This isn’t trendy but my dresses are often a quirky shape, beautiful fabric or over sized - try Cos - some weird shit but try stuff in and some is lovely.

And these new clothes, and hair, and jewellery is all somehow comforting and comfortable yet definitely 90% smarter than before.

I have some lovely soft scarves and a huge oversized cosy coat. I didn’t use a stylist as I realised how many weird ideas I have. I hate lady shoes and blouses - I mean wtf but I do.

Oh and recently I have had to calm down - once you are in the mailing list whether Cos, Komodo, MeandEm, Baukjen they keep sending you ideas and you but another bit here and suddenly you have a wardrobe full!

I've never gone for a colour or style consultation but I know people who have done, and my impression is that they're normally good at the textbook stuff about what flatters your colouring, body shape etc - which is important - but perhaps not always so good at tuning in to your own innate sense of style and helping you express it. I think the downside is that. although you may come away with some nice outfits, it may not be a massive help in the long if that makes any sense? It's where I think Trinny and Susannah went wrong and why, whenever they did those follow up shows, hardly anyone had ever stuck to their rules.

So before throwing any serious money at things I would dig around at the idea if your own sense of style a bit more cos I bet you have one. For example when you said hairdressers never do what you want, what was it that you wanted them to do?

I think Walking's post is really good, too, especially about getting the best chunky boots, jeans and knitwear for her.

I am so sorry for the loss of your husband
I had house of colour style and colour day
It has saved me loads of money in the long run and gave me loads of ideas and confidence

I also had a John Lewis personal shopper
which was excellent
When I got home I went through everything
Kept what I liked and returned the rest to a different store

John Lewis..

Well done for taking the first steps, it must be a very difficult time for you. I'd love to know how you get on at the hairdressers so keep us posted. I too loved Julie Ormond's style so hope you pull it off!

Always start with a good easy to keep haircut and style. And scaffolding is important. So get yourself measured and get some good quality underwear as that is the basis without a good base anything that goes over it is pointless as it changes your shape.

Take a look at Texterella. I like some of her outfits.

www.texterella.de

www.google.com/search?q=texterella&client=tablet-android-samsung-nf-rev1&source=android-browser&prmd=insv&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjn0bOes_rnAhVzo3EKHTvOBToQ_AUoAXoECAsQAQ&biw=800&bih=1280&dpr=1.5

Wishing you all the best

I agree about getting your colours done, good scaffolding and a bonzer haircut all excellent suggestions. Can I also ask if before chucking everything it would be worth putting your clothes out (on a bed?) and seeing what goes with what, and what you have tended to wear repeatedly? I once did that for my DMIL who had a full wardrobe nothing to wear and the clothes sense of a newt. It weeds out the things there's no point in keeping, it identifies any trends in what you really like, any wardrobe gaps and sometimes comes up with combos you wouldn't have thought about otherwise. Then discard things that are beyond salvage, too small, or you absolutely don't like, making sure to identify things that need replacing, perhaps eg white t-shirts. Also keep your particular clothing "blankie" for days when comfort and familiarity is all. Finally if you don't already have some lovely nightwear, I would get some. It's all about making you feel good!
I hope that all makes sense. I am so sorry for your loss and am in awe of your positivity.

I think it is important to try lots of things on. My body has changed a lot after a double mastectomy and I have had to start again. I try to only buy things that I love and then wear them rather than save them for best.

I am so sorry for your loss,

I recently lost my mother and I know my father has felt very similar (I am early 20's, young mum so has been quite hard on me too)

I love clothes and I have found that it really helped me gain my confidence, spark back and put some joy back into everyday.

I would start super simple.

Buy a really great pair of jeans I would recommend going to John Lewis picking anything in your price range and just go wild until you find the perfect ones.
Try a boyfriend fit, straight leg and skinny and see what looks best.
Personally I would pick a black and a mid denim colour to start off.
Jeans can act as a base for any outfit and are easily dressed up and down.

Why not try jeans and oversized shirt combination, super simple, easy and chic.
www.mistral-online.com/shirts-blouses-c400/woven-shallow-waters-longline-shirt-p32291
This is a really beautiful print whilst also giving you some room for movement.

Finally, get yourself a really great pair of trainers, white are my go-to as they look super chic with any outfit can be worn with dresses and trousers and skirts.
I really like Superga (as I am really small so give me a little bit of height)
But John Lewis have great options if you are already there!

I hope that helps get your mojo back

Sorry for your loss
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