Help me tame my daughter’s hair! (With pics!)

[bellylaughs]

DD(13) has very frizzy hair and can’t manage it well. She wants to have lovely curls or waves and I feel this could be possible if I had a clue how to advise her!!

The rest of us in the family are all fine, straight, thin haired people...I blame her ginger haired granny!!

I’ve looked at the Curly Girl Method a couple of times but it all looks a bit complicated and confusing. I’ve bought a few mouses and frizz ease things but not much luck...

Any easy tips that might work?

Curly girl method
Here's my before and now
It's a bit of trial and error. For me I needed more product (gel) and getting a really good cast (when it's dry and crunchy then you scrunch out the crunchy feeling) and also a cut with layers (went to an inverted bob)
It's the best thing I've ever done for my hair

I have very curly hair. Key for me is rarely combing it, and never brush it.

I was my hair with an expensive shampoo then work shit loads of conditioner through with my fingers. Rinse out with my head upside down and then work a little more conditioner through that I leave in. I keep my head upside down, gently pat it dry then arrange the curls and work a little gel through them. Leave hair to dry naturally (it will be crunchy) and once it's dry scrunch out all of the crunch.

Everyone's curly hair is different, she just needs to find what works for her.

Thank you all!! I can’t wait to try out some of these suggestions!! I will definitely post an “after” picture if we have any luck!

Those if you who leave in conditioner, does it not look wet/greasy? It goes against every fibre of my being to not rinse hair to death to make sure it’s not greasy looking so it’s going to be hard to “leave in” conditioner 😬

Buy the curly girl handbook for £7ish online for all the advice and methods and then join the curly girl UK Facebook group where they lay out the products available in the UK that are "curly girl safe/approved", i.e. don't contain banned ingredients. I'd avoid reading too much of the Facebook group advice/discussions, though, as they often complicate what is really quite simple in the book.

While you order the book, you may also want to order a silk/satin pillowcase and a good wide-toothed comb, if you don't already have one.

My hair isn't too keen on leave in - mine is the type that tends to go straighter and straighter in the days between washing and low porosity (takes days to dry!)
I have found Giovanni direct leave in the lightest I've ever used!
My general routine is cleanse, condition, then mouse and gel and dry until crunchy. I sleep on a satin pillowcase and scrunch it until soft in the morning with a tiny dab of oil on my hands
There's hundreds of products and method but keep it simple and cheap like another poster said above
XHC serum is nice, and eco hair gel is cheap. You might find hair loves gel, hates mousse or vice versa so don't spend loads! Mine is fussy as anything, it loves cheap conditioners but £££ styling products and all the protein I can throw at it. My friends hair wants moisture and so she deep conditions a lot and recoils from me slathering protein treatments on mine!

So great that you are trying to help her. I have the same hair and no-one ever helped me!

I really recommend having another look at the curly girl method. It is not necessarily complicated or expensive but it is trial and error and patience is required. If you / she is on facebook look for some cg groups for some inspirational before / after pictures. Good luck!

Maui conditioner is wonderful!!

'curly girl method' check it out on YouTube.

Trim it regularly, don't use a brush, comb the hair

Ditch shampoo completely and just use conditioner to wash hair. Let it sit for a couple of minutes before rinsing if she can.

I'm the opposite, have thin very straight hair and just use shampoo as conditioner is too rich and leaves it feeling heavy. For dry hair she just needs the conditioner not the shampoo. Use something sulphate free as suggested above.

I think her hair looks beautiful. But you’ve used words like ‘ I blame her...rest of use are fine’
I hope she doesn’t pick up on these subconscious thoughts

I think her hair is lovely, natural, healthy looking.
We have become conditioned (since straight hair became the only fashionable option) to find issues with un-straight hair of any type.

I’m going off at a tangent now but if you think about it, how we perceive hair is the deciding factor as the whether we consider it problematic. So no hair type Is actually difficult unless it is attempting to imitate something which it isn’t.

If this hair type was currently coveted, in its absolute natural state, nobody would consider it difficult.

I’ve gone a bit deep here but apart from using products which enhance it and taking care not to damage it, her hair is really beautiful as it is.

@ClientQueen your hair is stunning!!! I hope we can sort DDs out, she would be so happy to have those curls!

I have similar hair and use Color Wow one min transformation which I find amazing. But pricey.

Am just about to order a Toni and guy barrel wave gadget after watching a good video. I’m a sucker for new gadgets.

And the curly girl method is hit and miss, it makes mine lank and greasy.

My hair type is almost identical to this lovely Instagrammer in the pic.
I wash with Pantene shampoo and occasionally condition. That’s all. And it’s ok. I much prefer it after all those years of straightening it into lifeless flat straw.

I use Pantene shampoo and conditioner, spray on frizz ease and comb through and then scrunch in frizz ease curl cream when damp. Never use a hairdryer on hair like this either- that's the voice of many years experience!!

@Aswad I am very careful to be positive around her. I’ve never even mentioned her hair until recently (I didn’t see it as a problem) now she’s come to me really upset and crying about it. And I always tell her how lucky she is to have thick hair as the downside of my straight hair is that it gets horribly thin as you get older...

@Musicforsnorks
I get that it’s a a current perception/fashion thing but hasn’t that always been the way with teenagers? they want to fit in and look nice/follow trends etc. And I’m happy to help as it’s not like she’s asking for teeth whitening /lip fillers/worse so I’ll try to help her as much as I can...

Both dds have curtly hair. Dd1 is quite dry. I use argen oil/serum whilst it’s damp and it’s made a massive difference. It’s also a lot easier to detangle. Dd2 hair is like a wig she is only three!

@bellylaughs oh on, I do relate, I was only blabbering on ;) wasn’t aimed at you in particular, just what might be the perception of your Daughter’s hair.

I keep seeing a lot of teens now with their hair natural, which is nice. Length seems to be more coveted than any particular style. To be honest it was noticing this that encouraged me to quit straightening.
At that age I hated mine. I used to iron it with my mums actual clothes iron

Ok, now I’ve come down from my perch, having looked at the pic I can see she has a mixture of different curl patterns going on all at once (looser, tighter, etc). If this was me, I’d possibly sleep in a french braid, or two basic plaits, depending on how loose or tightly she’d prefer her curls, and shake through in the morning.

This would possibly create a uniform wave/curl, which might be easier for her to manage.

I’m not sure about products, as every curly head is so different with differinglevelsmofmporosity, etc, so what works for one may not for another. For me persona;lay, I have never found a’ miracle’ product. My hair changes as I grow older so it needs different products every few years.

If hair is fine, thinner, I would avoid oily serums and coconut stuff. This makes mine greasy and flat in places.
Might work much better on thick hair though.

A slight touch of mousse or conditioner seems to leave mine looking drier

Differing levels of porosity. Sorry!

I don’t like having to use product in dd2 hair but it tangles and gets a bit scraggy. A little bit of argen serum always makes it more manageable

@LouReidDododo your DDs hair is lovely. My DDs was similar at that age but has changed so much (presumably due to teenage hormones) thanks for the Argen tip!

@Musicforsnorks 😂 I get what what you meant completely! Don’t apologise for perch talk it’s needed very now and then!

Ask the hair dressers for a spiral cut - if you can find a hair dresser with curly hair so much the better.

A spiral cut is taking a length of hair and twisting it in sections and then cutting into in.

Buy shampoo that a silicon free.

She needs to add additional conditioning spray and dry naturally.

I remember i knew a lady with curly hair, she wrapped it in a big old mans primark tshirt instead of a towel and said it completely changed her curls!

Micro fibre hair towels do the same job

Also - don’t brush it between washes.

Good brush before washing only.

Use your fingers and conditioning spray to redefine curls