Please help me help dd with make up

[Kubo]

I have said I’ll let dd wear a little bit of make up for the valentine’s disco at school. She is 11 and in year 6.

I am conflicted about make up. I don’t wear it day to day, only on rare nights out. I hate the cultural expectation on women to spend time and money on make up to look ‘done’ or professional or whatever. I feel sorry for women MIL who can’t leave the house without their ‘face’ on.

BUT I know that make up can be a joyous and creative thing for those women (and men) who love it. AND I know I carry significant baggage from when I tried to wear make up seriously for the very first time at about 11 and my mother called me a tart and made me take it off.

So, I feel very ill-equipped to guide dd through this stuff so that she knows enough to have fun with it, without making a big deal of it.

Like, maybe let her get some mascara, maybe some light lip balm lipstick type thing? Make up departments freak me out. There is so much, how do you even choose?

A neutral blusher, nude neutral lipgloss and maybe some mascara is all DD had at her year 6 prom. I put it on for her (you could barely tell but she looked absolutely stunning). Some girls got carried away with full professional make up, false nails, false eyelashes etc etc.
Now in year 11 DD doesn’t wear any make up.
If money is no object Benefit is fairly natural looking as are other brands if you go to a large department store with DD she can get her make up done and can maybe purchase some products.

I agree with a lot of what you say about women being expected to look ‘done’ etc but as a mum to a 17 year old I can say that makeup has done wonders for my DDs confidence over the years and that’s got to be a good thing. It’s not just how it makes her look but the fact she’s good at applying it too.

I’d say your DD was too young to start looking at any of the bigger brands/make up counters - you’ll be out of pocket for those soon enough! But maybe some of the more budget friendly ranges in Boots or Superdrug eg NYX, MUA would be a good place to start combined with looking on Pinterest or YouTube for ideas of what she’d like.

Something me and dd2 did sometimes was book to have makeup done in The Body Shop together, they charge £10 but deduct that from the price of any products you buy. Their staff generally encourage minimal/natural for that age or will take your lead, (two staff members got into an argument about the use of liquid eyeliner when I took dds friends once!) but they give you a tutorial of how to apply and imo it's a nice intro to make up. And a nice thing to do together. I'm going to take dd1, 16 before prom if she wants. And funnily enough dd2 used to buy lots of make up at 11/12 but at 14 rarely bothers and sees it's just 'stuff'/consumerism these days.

Thanks for the advice. I like the idea of going to the Body Shop together, I definitely do with a tutorial 😀

I got my dd some make up when she was 12 and the Bobby Brown Teen make book which is as old as the hills now but still good. I was happy that she was interested in it while she was still young enough for me to tell her what she could and couldn't have and wear.

Much as hate the belief that make-up is needed to look professional or “done,” I also hate the belief sneery attitude to girls wearing “too much.”

If you want make-up to be fun and expressive, don’t stick to neutral. Go shopping with your daughter and try out what she wants. Maybe let her give you a make-over with your make-up?

Agree with make-up counter too maybe, poss with friend - or with you.

Boots stock a range called NYX and it’s cheap and good. You can buy the following bits for her there for less than £20

I would-
Little bit of primer or CC cream
Mascara
Cream blush
Lip butter/gloss in a pinky nude colour

Nails painted- if budget stretches you could go and get your nails done together?

Perfume- my mum used to let me have a skoosh of her channel no 5!
Hair curled with a wand/straighteners.

My dd for the end of year party got the ends of her hair dip dyed in purple which was fun and washed out fairly quick.

Natural is good but I'd say a bit boring, let her choose what she likes, I think a bright gloss or lipstick with minimal foundation, usually the young have good skin so I doubt she'll need much base. Long lashes and a touch of shimmer. Fun but not over the top.

I almost put something in my OP about girls ‘these days’ wearing too much, but didn’t want it to sound sneery. I only mean the layers and layers of foundation that you see. The ‘flawless’ look is so clearly a mask I don’t understand it. But then I hate the feel of foundation so I never wear it.

I don’t know, foundation seems so much more serious and grown up, and unnecessary, not fun like mascara or eye shadows or lipstick.

I agree op, a sheer base is so much nicer on young skin but I think fun colours are really nice, I'm not keen on thick foundation and beige brown lips. Just my opinion obvs.

My niece didn't wear any skin make up at that age (no foundation, no blusher, none of that was needed) but she loved shimmery eye shadows in pretty soft shades, with mascara and a very shiny lip gloss. We've found the Primark makeup very good for teens!

I would t get base or primer either.

I'd get a clear mascara, an exciting eyeshadow palette, a lip gloss and a tinted lip balm.

I'd get her a champagne or purple eyeshadow (fun, not crazy bright but childish), a clear mascara, pink nivea lip balm and maybe some glittery highlighter.

So it's still childish and light but she gets to feel pretty and girly.

No base she doesn't need a mask

I just had to Google highlighters and watch a YouTube tutorial to figure out what they were

Ok, I think I’ve got a good idea of what to get. Might try some online shopping with her first so I don’t get the fear in the middle of superdrug 😄

Thanks all 🙂

Boots have amazing staff to help ,do agree with someone who said nyx they have a good range im a fan of mac but say thats more for older like teenage and over.
Why do u feel sorry for women who cant go out without make up? U shouldnt im one of those ,most of us enjoy doing make up.

Enjoying make up is great, and if you wear it every day because you enjoy making time for it in the morning, that’s great.

I feel sorry for women who only wear make up every single day of their lives because they feel uncomfortable showing their bare, natural, actually-what-they-look-like face to the world. Not even to pop to the shops for a pint of milk on a lazy Sunday morning.

At 11 she could have lots of fun with glittery eyeshadows and a bit of lipgloss. No need for mascara/clear mascara at that age, it’s a faff and too easy to poke yourself in the eye! She should just have a play with some fun colours that she can smudge on without any skill required. Maybe a glittery or colourful nail varnish as well?

Maybe a strobe cream (Revolution or MUA do them really cheap) for her face.
It's sheer but has a little bit of shimmer in it, can make the face look really sparkly which is fun.

A nice lip gloss or coloured balm (again Superdrug)

Eyeshadow is the one you can really play with, Revolution and MUA again - loads of colours, glitters, shimmers and other options for peanuts.

I remember, when starting to play with make up, that I loved Barry M dazzle dust - all different colours and so sparkly.
I wonder if they still do that?

Also,
My 12yo niece (Year 7) has started to show an interest in makeup recently, she suffers really badly with her skin and the poor mite is already suffering from the bullies.

Her mum and I got her some Bare Minerals products and they're fantastic.
Lightweight, don't block pores, haven't made her skin any worse and have really boosted her confidence.
The mineral foundation is amazing for young skin.

I know your DD is young for this stuff just yet, but it's always handy to know - just in case.

At 11, if she’s really wanting to go ‘all out’ on the makeup then I suggest given her age and not wanting her to look too made up or cover her lovely young skin:

If she insists on needing a bass like foundation then go for a BB cream or better yet tinted moisturiser. Don’t get her a full foundation she won’t need it.

A nice neutral coloured shimmery eye shadow.

A translucent lip colour, or a lipgloss, or tinted lip balm.

A mascara in brown if You can find one. Black is very harsh on a pre-teen.

Maybe a blush too? But less is always, always more!