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Style and beauty

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Original poster

Trends for a 40 year old?

22 replies

BettyJean · 15/12/2019 19:00

Just looking for some tips on how to modernise my look. I feel I’m starting to look a bit frumpy (although clean and smart). Obviously I don’t want to look like a 40 year old trying to look like a 20 year old but I also don’t want to look, well, frumpy. Any tips?

OP posts:

JaneyCartmel · 15/12/2019 19:08

What’s your hair like? I got some subtle gold highlights around my face and parting. I was told it took years off me.

I know what you mean though, it can be a fine line to tread, between looking like a try hard and appearing to just give up.

Original poster

BettyJean · 15/12/2019 19:17

I’m going to the hairdresser on Saturday. I was thinking of asking for a bit of an update. I have it coloured to cover the grey but I think subtle highlights might break it up a bit.

OP posts:

Original poster

BettyJean · 15/12/2019 19:19

What about clothes though? I think I have definitely been veering towards the comfy, over stylish recently and that’s what is making me feel like a bit of a frump.

OP posts:

Inliverpool1 · 15/12/2019 19:24

We Jen you say comfy, joggers and leggings or elasticastic waist crimpoline trousers. How bad are we talking ?

Original poster

BettyJean · 15/12/2019 19:28

Clothes with a bit of stretch in them and trainers (nice ones though, labels that I’ve seen the youngsters wearing).

Haven’t quite reached for the elasticated crimpoline trousers, yet, but I’d like to head off any thoughts of those before they enter my head... 😀

OP posts:

Inliverpool1 · 15/12/2019 19:42

I’m probably the wrong person to ask that sounds like me, bootleg jersey trousers. Tight fitting jumpers and posh trainers

brightonroc · 15/12/2019 19:42

What did you use to wear? Before kids?

I just went back to what always suited me - leggings, long top and either long boots or trainers. Long cardie over the top. Pretty much been dressing like this since I was 14!

It's got to suit your personality and lifestyle - that's when you look good!

museumum · 15/12/2019 19:45

I am 100% in the comfort zone but imo the key is to own it - so trainers or DMs or brogues rather than a half “high heel” compromise.
Proper Scandi winter coat rather than a half smart half warm compromise.
Same with hair - go short or long, not trying to be both but actually being neither.

Original poster

BettyJean · 15/12/2019 19:51

I have just got a new coat from H&M, does that count as Scandi? It’s camel, long with a belt, I think it’s lovely and not too dissimilar from one I saw Megan Markel wearing.

OP posts:

JaneyCartmel · 15/12/2019 19:56

Be careful with short hair though. I cut mine off into a pixie cut that looks lovely on those with delicate features. I don’t have delicate features, so I looked like a short man with boobs. It was also higher maintenance than my longer hair had been, as you can’t get away with just tying it back when you’re in a rush.

Just saying, as cut your hair, seems to be common advice given to women in their 40s.

Original poster

BettyJean · 15/12/2019 20:06

Do you think that your tastes get stuck? As in you stick with fashion that was in when you felt your most attractive? For me, that was when I was about 30 as I felt I’d grown into myself.

I had my teeth whitened last week and I said to the dentist that I don’t want glow in the dark white (which is what seems to be on trend), just natural white.

OP posts:

JaneyCartmel · 15/12/2019 20:27

I think there is an element of getting stuck. This might be why short hair was recently popular with the over 40s - they grew up in the 80s when short hair was very in (think the yuppie woman look, or princess diana). So stuck with it.

One thing I think is ageing is religiously matching shoes and bags. That was very in up to about 15 years ago but isn’t the case anymore.

HundredMilesAnHour · 15/12/2019 20:33

Agree about the matching bag and shoes. Totally! It's SO SO ageing.

I think some women get stuck with make-up. Those women you see still wearing the same make-up look they were wearing in their late teens/early 20s with blue eyeliner and frosted pink lipstick. Or just even very heavy black eyeliner that no longer suits them as they age (I'm looking at you Duchess of Cambridge!)

dudsville · 15/12/2019 20:37

I get stuck. I keep an eye on my young or trendy colleagues an adopt ideas from them.

JaneyCartmel · 15/12/2019 20:40

Ok, so what should I do with ankle boots, I’ve just bought a lovely pair from Aldo, should I tuck my jeans in or roll the jeans up at the bottom so that the hem is above the ankle boot? Or do I need to buy cropped ish jeans?

Flicketyflack · 15/12/2019 20:47

Interesting thread
Watching for ideas

KiteflyingKat · 15/12/2019 21:06

Hi Op
What is your style? Are you a jeans & trainers type or a dresses and skirts type? Or a mix?

I joined the what are you wearing today threads on here as I felt in danger of letting myself go post-baby and it’s forced me to think about what I’m wearing each day rather than just sticking the same old jeans & jumper on.

@JaneyCartmel the trend with ankle boots at the moment is to turn the jeans up (or buy slightly cropped ones) so there is a slight gap between top of boot and jeans. I sometimes fill the gap with a chunky sock in very cold weather. Pop over to the what are you wearing today threads and there are pictures of this.

SnowyUnicorns · 16/12/2019 08:08

If you are feeling out of touch with fashion and not sure how to make the most of your figure (let's face it, we all change shape after kids etc) then why not go somewhere like John Lewis and get their personal shopper to help you get a basic wardrobe together? They will choose up to date styles which flatter you and show you how to put outfits together. You could also book a make up trial on one of the beauty counters while you are at it.

Just because something is on trend doesn't mean it is right for you. I'm 41. I hate the ankle boots with dresses look, I also hate the gap between boots and jeans look. Midi dresses make me look like I'm wearing a sack. I am making the most of mini length that is also currently in at the moment and wearing knee high boots which never go out of fashion.

Floisme · 16/12/2019 09:45

I think finding out what's current is fairly straightforward. Lots of suggestions already. What I like to do best is go for a wander round Zara and H&M and just try on things I don't normally wear.

Much harder I think, is stepping out of your comfort zone and actually wearing them. Because women over 40 aren't supposed to enjoy fashion. Even in your op you sound kind of apologetic about it and I understand that. We're supposed to be above it by now and to be more interested in style and quality and - don't get me started on this - to know what suits us. And obviously we must never, ever, look like we're trying.

I think the only way through it, and also the only way to find your own style, is to stop worrying, to just go and try out some new things (and to keep on doing it because your body will change). And then wear them in public. Some of them will work and some of them won't and it's fine.

gingersausage · 16/12/2019 10:16

I’m slightly surprised at needing specialist fashion advice at 40! Surely 40 is just...well, a day out of your 30s. I don’t understand what should change so drastically. I’m not being snarky either, I’m just honestly puzzled.

HundredMilesAnHour · 16/12/2019 10:20

I think the only way through it, and also the only way to find your own style, is to stop worrying, to just go and try out some new things

This is good advice. It can be hard to do if you've lack confidence but put a brave face on OP and get out there and have some fun!

I'm 49 and people tell me that I'm quite fashion forward. I don't think I am. I just buy what I like - and what I think suits me - and wear it with confidence. I don't mind wearing something that people think is pretty "out there". But I'm tall and (fairly) slim and quite outgoing so that helps. Style and quality is very important to me (and always has been) rather than trends and following fashion. But I live in an area which is full of designers and creative types so I'm sure my tastes are influenced by what I see around me (even if it's unconscious) and the people I talk to about it.

By contrast, I lived in Hong Kong for a few years and I found my tastes in clothes and shoes etc became much more conservative. I think because I was surrounded by very conservative people and there were so few options to do anything but assimilate. So I can appreciate that if all your friends shop at Fatface and Boden, it's going to be harder to feel comfortable experimenting. But don't think of it as fashion. Just find things you like and that make you happy when you wear them!! That's the secret. Dress for you rather than everyone else.

Original poster

BettyJean · 16/12/2019 12:45

As others have said, I think it’s a confidence issue. I’ve lost most of the baby weight but seem to have a stubborn 10lbs on my stomach that won’t shift. I also saw some photos of me at a wedding recently and I thought I just looked old and frumpy.

I am really going to look at my diet and exercise plan in January. Which will include booking 2 nights a week where I can go to spin or yoga and DP can do the childcare etc. (He plays football so it’s only reciprocal).

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