I hate all my clothes

[yougotanology]

I have a lot, all the basics - decent T-shirt's, all manner of skinny jeans, pleated skirts, roll necks, jumpers, shirts/blouses in patterns and maxi, midi and mini dresses.

I have uggs, smart boots, Chunky boots, trendy trainers.

Faux suede bikers in varying colours, puffer jackets and coats and a smart wool coat.

All in neutral colours or colours that suit me.

All from Zara, Whistles and Top Shop.

What is wrong with me?

I literally have no idea how to dress anymore.

Today I paired navy pleated culottes with a high necked navy sweater, navy suede biker and DMs - I went out, caught sight of myself and hated it.

What do I'm do? I don't have the cash to start over and I really don't need to. I had an app which helped but it's stopped working (finery). I've lost my groove and have no idea how to get it back.

I'm going through a medial problem that causes me to bloat, so I'm avoiding skinny jeans, but it's not just that.

I love clothes but I would rather stay in pjs than get dressed as I just hate everything I wear.

i hate all my clothes too, but I've underinvested for years and now everything is old and worn out. i do have money to buy stuff but i don't know where to start or what i like.
it's making me depressed. imhappiest in PJs too.

I kind of feel like this at the moment only I probably don’t have as much as you as in terms of skirts/dresses!

I’m probably ‘stuck’ in a casual sense of style myself, skinnies, trainers/ankle boots and hoodies, jumpers. I don’t particularly like what I see in the mirror anymore but can’t see how I can improve or what else I could wear that I would feel comfortable - like you said, in pyjamas, I can’t wait to get home to get my pj’s on!

The outfit you described with the navy culottes sounds pretty amazing, I bet you looked a lot better than you thought you did. I wish I could be a bit more interesting with my clothes, it’s always jeans/skinnies with me.

Sometimes if I see a nice pair of boots on someone else I think of what I have that would go with them, same with a coat or jumper, then if I end up buying something similar I look on Pinterest to see different outfit styles, to see how that pair of boots may be styled up with a coat or a jumper , even if you haven’t got that coat or jumper, just the colours can give you ideas, iukwim?

I could be talking shit, I mean i really am not the best dressed person by any stretch of the imagination! Hopefully some style wise mumnetters will be along shortly!

I tend to feel like this when I'm feeling down on myself generally tbh OP, if my skin and hair aren't playing ball and I'm bloated- nothing I put on will do anything other than make me feel worse.

I find it helpful to have a small rail separate to my wardrobe so I can pull things out and outfit plan. The clothes you have sound great so it's surely a case of just having a bit of a session putting bits together and finding combo's you feel good in. I don't try stuff on unless hair and makeup is done because I find it skews how I feel about it overall.

Just a different idea to throw in there. - is it possible you have too much choice? So many items can paralyse you in a weird way, like too much visual distraction all at once.

I had this a few years ago, what solved it was minimising. I don’t mean chucking out stuff exactly, but certainly moving a whole bunch of it out of your way!

Imagine packing for a two week break, what would be your favourite items? Try organising them all into colours and shapes which go together well as outfits. So for instance if you have 3 skirts, all in a navy or dark grey colour, you find tops which would go with all of them. Voila, a mini capsule! Likewise with trousers/jeans.

Single out dresses which suit the current season and all of your coats. So when you come to wear a dress you already know what will go with it.

For me it took breaking my wardrobe down in such a way to start again, as it wore, in my approach to wearing the clothes.

I have felt like you. What I know is that clothes are the symptom- the issue is our relationship with ourselves. I buy clothes because I love the fun, the experimentation, painting a different picture every day with my clothes. When I am enjoying it is good but sometimes you but clothes for a version of you you want to be - that is not good. I need to learn to love myself first.

Have you been dressing in a uniform of current/recent trends-that isn't really an expression of yourself?

Would it help to have one of those experts in who can look at your wardrobe contents and maybe mix things up in a way you may not have thought of?

Basically it sounds like you have everything but just not sure how to put it together?

I know there are style advisors that come to your home. Can you try that??

Look for inspo on Pinterest maybe? Take the pieces that you like and enjoy wearing and look on there for ideas.

I look on Pinterest and at people whilst I'm out. I don't like what most people wear (I am very fussy). Or can't find anything age or location appropriate (ie: smart coat and heels in the day time won't cut it for a dog walk)

No, I don't feel good about myself. Yes, I definitely have too many clothes and I AM dressing in a uniform of fashion that doesn't suit me.

I'm more of a smart dresser at heart, but a) those outfits are usually slim fitting and my bloating makes this uncomfy and b) I don't go anywhere dressy. I go to work (smart casual) and go food shopping or the occasion pub night out.

Such a waste of all these clothes.

I used to be able to buy a few key items each season and carry them off - looking current but classic.

Now I just look a bit 'try hard'.

Took the kids out for lunch today and to a shopping centre, wore a denim shirt dress (new) with puffed sleeves, thick black tights, dms and black and white tortoiseshell hoops.

I felt 'just not right' in every mirror.

I'm sad and feel stupid because I have a lot of other stresses in my life as do others - I should be bloody grateful but this makes me fa bit miserable.

Have you been dressing in a uniform of current/recent trends-that isn't really an expression of yourself?

Isn't this the joy of fashion, buy this item and you shall be transformed into the incredibly fabulous person of your dreams.

TBH I'd suspect it's a side effect of your medical problem, particularly if you are a bit bloated but normally slim you will look worse to yourself than the small weight gain might suggest. No-one else will think that though.

Be good to yourself, maybe try and do regular light exercise to lift your mood a bit (go for a walk or do some yoga). Sounds to me like the clothes are fine, it's just how you are viewing yourself.

It's not your clothes, it's because you're not happy / content "I'm sad and feel stupid because I have a lot of other stresses in my life"

Hopefully this will just be a phase and soon you will feel better about your life In the meantime, trust your judgement in the choices of clothes you have, you chose them for a reason and they probably go well with each other and make great outfits.

I think women look to their clothes and hair etc. as having a transformative effect on their personality or mood. And most of the time we do derive pleasure and confidence from how we present ourselves. When this fails to bolster our confidence or make us feel good, it is particularly hard. Try to not be so harsh on yourself OP.

I would start by finding yourself an outfit that you do feel good in and analyse why it is working for you.

It sounds as if you feel you want to dress for a lifestyle you don't have.

However- if you feel your personal style is classic then wear it and stop trying to fit in so much. Look out for minimalist chic outfits and think if replicating them might work for you with what you already have. Maybe you have gaps for accessories that might refresh what you have?

Do you think it might be worth considering if a hair/make-up overhaul would give you a bit of a pick-me-up?

Perhaps it’s that you just don’t feel/look right in your clothes just now, you’ve changed shape and perhaps feeling conscious that people have noticed. I’ve put on a lot of weight and feel horrible in everything and that others are talking about me, I can’t look at myself in a mirror and feel terrible. It’s not nice.

I think your outfit sounds really nice and cool tbh, your wardrobe sounds fab, mine is full of lovely stuff I can’t wear as it’s too small.
I hope things improve perhaps focus elsewhere hair, shoes, makeup which is what I try to do if things aren’t good body wise, doesn’t always work mind you.

Your wardrobe is fine it just sounds like you are lacking in a bit of colour. Colour helps lift my mood if I'm having a down day. Even just a small bit such as coloured tights or a scarf help.