Mother of the bride Help

[SapatSea]

DD getting married in early March. I'm already worried about what to wear. I've looked at all of Debenhams, Next, John Lewis, phase eight, Monsoon, Oasis dresses online and am hopelessly confused. I just don't know what would suit. I'm on medication for a long term condition and sometimes use a cane and have put on weight from the meds. I'm now a 14 or sixteen up top depending on the brand (big norks 34ff) and a 12/14 bottom.I recently had to buy summer dresses from boden and white stuff in size sixteen but wear size 12 fatface jeggings and jeans. All my old smart things from few years back from favoured shops are size 12 and don't fit. I also don't have a defined waist on one side (lopsided as one leg shorter than the other)due to scoliosis so usual advice to wear a fifties style nipped waist dress doesn't work. Due to my large middle aged bust the waist on a lot of dresses seems to end up under my bust sort of empire line ruining the look. I'm not that keen on restrictive bodycon and spanx as I need to keep cool and make going to the loo okay with my balance. However,at five foot 4 I'm a bit of a short arse so don't suit the lovely floaty long (midi/maxi) dresses around at the moment. Do you think they could be shortened or do they look too flouncy and blousy for my bodyshape?

I'm trying to avoid panicking at the last lap and buying a totally plain dress from somewhere overpriced like Hobbs. What I'd like to wear and what will suit me are just at odds. Wedding is indoors so I'm not restricted by the weather. Help!

Would a plain dress jazzed up with fancy shoes and a cashmere cropped cardi or short jacket be okay? e.g www.boden.co.uk/en-gb/womens-dresses/special-occasion-dresses/j0040/womens-honor-ponte-dress
I bought this dress in 14 and sixteen but it was huge on me in both sizes and came half way down my calfs and looked black rather than navy My DC said I looked like some weird pregnant nun in it. I do like chiffon though. I don't mind small prints but not be large florals
www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10701_10001_54510+205122351_-1

Has anyone come across a nice dress that might suit a dumpy mid fifties woman who would still like to look good (but doesn't really like lace twinsets?) Budget is around £100 for the dress but could go to one fifty or even a bit higher for something I really liked. Need to order online as my health (balance issue) makes town shopping too stressful and debilitating. I don't mind budget dresses or higher end it's more about feeling comfortable and looking right for the event. Or is there a famous dumpy woman who looks really good I could take inspiration from? I'm just not confident dressing for my new heftier shape.

My dd just says I should wear something I feel comfy in but I don't want to let her down and feel I should wear a bit more than a plain jersey wrap dress that would be my go to usually as a not very important guest.

Any help or ideas welcome.

I actually think boden has some nice stuff for all sizes - they do fancier clothes as well as every day stuff and you can read the reviews from real people

Thanks Peardrops will carefully look.

guess I'm going to have to max out the credit card and send loads back, just try on heaps of stuff to find something. Do you all think jersey is smart enough if never washed or doe sit take a smarter fabric like crepe/ponte etc?

Can I suggest that you have a think about going to Debenhams and using their personal shoppers? I've taken my Mum and Auntie who both have health issues. You sit in a private changing room with tea and coffee. They do the running around and will help you trying things on. Their service is free & they really got into the spirit of things why my wedding. There is no pressure to buy more than what you say your budget is in fact they provided plenty of choices well below.

My husband and I both did it too. It's honestly fab. They encourage you to think a-bit differently

My Auntie still basically the same lilac chiffon suit to my wedding that she has always worn but was made up with the whole process as she hadn't been shopping for years because she couldn't manage the walking round.

I was going to suggest Debenham's personal shopper too.

My friend had a dress from here for her DD’s wedding -
www.theprettydresscompany.com/best-sellers and looked amazing.
Really lovely quality too.

I knew someone who was a similar shape to you, petite but chesty with smaller bottom half and she wore something like this
www.davidsbridal.com/Product_short-jersey-cape-dress-with-pleated-trim-sl111176
To her sons wedding and it looked beautiful.

I'm not busty myself but I thought most advice was to wear a v neck but that dress honestly looked great on her as it showed off her smallest part. I understand it's an american website so may not be great for try one but maybe theres a uk alternative?

NWQM and Knitted thanks for that idea. I had no idea you could do that, for free.I thought it cost a fee or had a minimum spend. Thanks. Perhaps one of my DD's will come with me.

BestisWest I have just looked at prettydress website this afternoon (found it on google by typing in nice dress)and thought there were some possibilities. Nice to hear the dress was good quality. Thanks

Jent the advice with boobage is to wear v neck, but they aren't often that easy to find or the v is too low and needs a vest/mosdesty panel which dfeats the purpose. I would never have thought to try a dress with a cape bit. I can see it would be quite glamorous. Great idea. Thanks

I think John Lewis don't charge as well. I think just try lots on and see what seems right.

Or you could see if you like anything from e-shakti or similar that can be made to your size. I've yet to try it but it has great reviews but I'm guessing that anything custom made is non returnable.