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Do you dress to stand out or blend in?

64 replies

Thinkle · 18/09/2019 18:38

Just that really and I suspect this has been asked before. I include hair, makeup accessories etc.

I dress etc to stand out, not in a wearing all the colours of the rainbow way. I work full time and have a professional job with responsibility but I like to think that there is one thing about my outfit that stands out each day.

OP posts:
dudsville · 18/09/2019 21:43

C. I dress quickly! I don't have time to think about it so my wardrobe matches and it's easy and comfortable.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 18/09/2019 22:22

I love bright colours and jewel colours suit me well. Where I live and work people dress well but very conservatively (tbh I find it a bit dull) so I do stand out a bit. But I only get nice comments.

hammeringinmyhead · 18/09/2019 22:23

I think I also dress to encourage a double take. I wear a lot of stripy tops with skinnies but will wear with polka dot trainers, a Tatty Devine necklace, purple Dr Martens, or an interesting belt. I wear a lot of dungarees which again I try to wear with interesting footwear.

I get a lot of wear out of my low top charcoal Converse but I do feel a bit boring in them.

Tobeshared · 18/09/2019 22:33

I like to stand out..in a slightly edgy way.

keepingbees · 18/09/2019 22:39

I don't stand out, but equally I don't choose styles just because other people wear them. I wear what I think suits me. I like to look smart and I wear full make up every day. It's how I want to look and how I feel confident, not for anyone else.

OverByYer · 18/09/2019 22:42

Neither. I just wear what I like. I’m not bothered if I stand out/ blend in and have no idea if I do either way

SapphireSeptember · 19/09/2019 01:53

I stand out, I'm a Goth most of the time (sometimes I wear pastel colours, if you see me wearing pastels I'm wearing a Pusheen t-shirt.) But I wear band t-shirts, long skirts, boots, stripy socks and lots of accessories. And I have interesting tastes in make-up. I wear what I like, which makes me stand out.

thebabessavedme · 19/09/2019 09:04

I'm 56 and have always loved clothes and fashion, I do like items that stand out and have my own style which I would probably describe as 'cool/boho/biker'. I do however come from a long line of very stylish individual dressers, my dm although classic is always a stand out, even now in her 80s, my dd is also an incredible dresser, very creative, very individual (sort of mix of Apfel and Westwood) Ultimatley though I dress for myself, i dont give a shiny shit if someone dosent like my style, I will be a long time dead so I bloody go for it and enjoy! Grin

Bluntness100 · 19/09/2019 09:07

Neither. I dress in what either I like, feels comfortable, looks stylish, whatever, but standing out or blending in wouldn't occur to me.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 19/09/2019 10:47

Genuinely don't give two fucks if I stand out or fit in. I dress for comfort, which mainly means quite slobby stuff but I hate the feeling of things being clingy or being aware of a waistband so I buy all my clothes size 12, even though I am a size 8.

HappyEverIftar · 19/09/2019 11:07

Hmm, my DM says I'm 'neat' - one friend says she'd never wear my clothes but I pull them off - another says I'm the only one to pull off statement necklaces and hats. So I guess a mixed bag! My colouring means I'm suited to jewel colours like others have said, so I know what to avoid (beige/tan/fawn) and what cuts suit too.

I guess from reading that back, I stand out!

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 19/09/2019 11:13

Stand out. Absolutely 100%. I don't blend. Ever Blush

mumdom · 19/09/2019 11:36

What a great thread, OP.

There are a few replies here that make me suspect dishonesty dressed as superiority. Unless extraordinarily lacking in self-awareness, I can’t believe anyone genuinely doesn’t care in the slightest what they wear. Your own and other people’s reactions and perceptions are very powerful. How you dress can control an awful lot.

All my life I’ve dressed to fit in. My dad was a tenant farmer and my mum a GP. Too posh for my down-at-heel hometown, not posh enough for my school and university. I dressed appropriately for the people present and the occasion, with a nod to my hosts. A good mannered but uninspiring, even stifling, style. I notice Kate Middleton does the same, perhaps because she’s also caught betwixt and between as I was.

I live in a self-consciously “smart” part of London now, where people are literally well-heeled and well dressed, whether in bespoke tailoring or boho frocks. Nowadays I could afford to dress as they do, but I can’t really, because I’m fat. Yet again, despite having some professional and financial success, I’m still dressed to hide. It’s a capsule wardrobe but it’s basically an adult’s school uniform.

I have an alter ego in my wardrobe full of things I have “collected” for my daughters and nieces. Theatrical, architectural, colourful clothes I would love to wear and never do, and perhaps never will. God I would love to have the confidence to stand out.

EmmaStone · 19/09/2019 16:47

Stand out. As a teenager I always wanted to be wearing the latest thing (which still suited me), and would haunt second hand stores for something a bit different.

In my 20s and 30s I probably blended in a bit more - a combination of losing my way a bit with my fashion mojo.

I now work in a creative environment and love that I can wear whatever I want. I love people commenting on what I'm wearing. I've recently dyed my hair quite radically - everyone at work LOVES it, everyone in my small village is studiously avoiding mentioning it Grin.

BlairWaldorfLovesShopping · 19/09/2019 16:50

I dress to stand out at work and to fit in elsewhere.

At work I dress smarter than I need to, and I like wearing heels while I am inside the office. I am comfortable in smart clothes and am happy to wear less conventional office wear, like culottes or a statement skirt or bright trousers.

I struggle to style myself in casual clothes as they don't suit me as well somehow (it's the same with summer clothes vs winter clothes). So I put more thought and effort into what I'll wear for social occasions than I do for work, even though I spend a lot more time at work. I always try to wear something to fit in with the people I'll be seeing, and usually feel uncomfortable if I get it wrong which feels like often.

Just got back from holiday, and I planned what to take ages ago with a spreadsheet, and it still felt wrong.

ChickenyChick · 19/09/2019 16:50

I always stand out, whether I like it ir not. I just don’t look like I am from around here Grin and on top of that i am over 6ft

So i never dress to stand out (even mire) but neither do I dress to fit in. I dress to be comfortable and tiny bit fashionable Wink

Allthepinkunicorns · 19/09/2019 17:05

A bit of both to be honest. Sometimes I want to stand out and then other days I just want to wear my jeans and a baggy jumper. Also I think in the summer I stand out more in the winter I just love being cosy, although I do have a bright red coat and you could spot me a mile away in it.

Ticklemeelmo · 19/09/2019 17:29

I'm 5'2 so main concern when shopping is finding clothes that don't swamp me!

I definitely don't follow what's trendy, just what I think looks good on me. I like bright colours and tend to avoid anything frilly flouncy or oversized as I just look ridiculous.

optimisticpessimist01 · 19/09/2019 17:38

In work I definitely dress to stand out and I make a conscious effort to

I'm a secondary school and I like my outfits to have pops of colour/patterns, I think this reflects my teaching personality too which is a bit daft and loud. Plus as I start to think of my career development it's useful to be memorable. My outfits are always professional and quite on trend I think I just like a splash of colour here and there

In real life I dress to blend in, although it isn't deliberate it's out of comfort more than anything

Writersblock2 · 19/09/2019 17:41

Great thread! I don’t know if I deliberately dress for either. For me, priority is that it’s easy. While I love accessories and shoes (and playing with colour with makeup), I’ve never been that into clothes. It’s getting a bit better but I still tend to stick to black because it all goes together and I don’t have to think about it. I’ve recently got into red lipstick though, which I think looks really striking with black. And I’ve been getting a load of compliments. Not sure how I feel about the attention yet!

ChickenyChick · 19/09/2019 18:31

Positive attention is good, I think Wink

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 19/09/2019 18:32

I like to be as invisible as possible.

Blueandredandblue · 19/09/2019 19:29

People stare at me wherever I go, so I probably do stand out. But it isn't my intention, I just like to do my own thing. But I wouldn't say I'm alternative. Today I wore very wide cropped utility type trousers, DM boots, plain navy top, leather biker, with a red checker board scarf (in the morning, because it was chilly). And people did stare at me, although I made no effort to stand out, and nothing special about my outfit. Tomorrow I'm possibly going to wear a long floral slip dress, or off white utility wide legged jeans. Not sure, it depends on how I feel. I think I live in an area where most women wear a skinny jeans and trainers uniform

CountFosco · 19/09/2019 20:01

Interesting discussion. We don't have a strict dress code at work so people are in the main reasonably casual but it varies a bit depending on role. So I have a lot of leeway to dress how I want. I think I probably dress to stand out, I want people to notice and like my clothes. I have a very short pixie and have a few greys and I don't wear makeup but I have a large shoe collection and spend a reasonable amount on my clothes. Highly disapprove of HoC or 'dressing for your shape' or age-appropriate nonsense, I think clothes are an expression of your personality rather than a way to show off your body. I love Advanced Style and while my asthetic may be different (I'm more minimalist than maximalist) think you can learn a lot about how to dress from such creative individuals.

Whoopstheregomyinsides · 19/09/2019 20:08

I used to dress to stand out whether it was vintage blouses, suede skirts or a quirky old coat but these days I have lost all my style. I’m not totally void of sense and care deeply about what I wear. I want to dress like Ellapaella from the what are we wearing thread but I’m too fat. I’d love to be like that as it’s beautifully stylish but these days the best I can do
Is a bright shoe or bag. Currently got a bright yellow bag and had a yellow raincoat way before it became a thing