Is a water softener the only solution to my curly girl struggle??

[Dairymilkfordinner]

Have posted on here before about my struggles with the curly girl method. Been doing it over a year with some lovely hair days but no consistency. And lately my hair has been terrible - limp, straight, yuk.

Had a holiday in Dorset last week and using the same products etc as at home, my hair was bloody amazing- voluminous, bouncy ringlets and the same the day after washing whereas at home it would be greasy at the roots the next day and if I'd been lucky enough to get any kind of curl, it wouldn't dropped.

So gutted its going to go back to being shite at home. Is my only solution to get a water softener?? And is that super expensive?

As expected, my hair has gone back to being rubbish at home. In fact more rubbish than ever - apart from a wave around the front, it's straight! I just can't seem to get this right...

We had a water softener installed at the same time as a new kitchen, we lost half a kitchen cupboard to it, we didn't any change out of £1,200 and it was worth every penny.

£1200! Wow! I imagine doing it retrospectively might be a massive pain in the backside??

Have you tried a vinegar rinse?

Can you try showering at a house with a water softener first? I've got one and while it's been good for limescale, my fine limp hair is now even more limp 😭

However it really isn't a pain to install in an established house. You can call Harvey's and they'll give you a free quote and show you how it would be installed.

We have one and my hair is still prone to frizz - but as we curly girls know - everyone's curly hair solution is very much a personal journey.

I don't know anyone with a water softener unfortunately. And actually, when I was on holiday, while the first wash made my hair look and feel amazing, by the second and third washes, it was starting to droop a bit. So maybe a softener might not be a magic bullet.

Yes, I've tried a vinegar rinse and it did nothing but made my hair smell for aaages. It's weird - all these different Curly Girl things you can try - rice rinse, vinegar rinse, lemon rinse - none of them seem to make any difference to my hair. I wouldn't mind if my hair had a bad reaction to them, at least then I'd know they definitely weren't for me.

My next experiment is to try not using anything with coconut in as this is another thing I've read that affects some people's curls but I'm not holding my breath. It's so frustrating - if you look on the CG FB groups etc, people post their progress and before and afters and usually after a few months/a year, they've cracked it and have amazing hair. Mine is just getting worse and I can't work it out!!

We have soft water and it is disasterous for my fine curly hair.

I have fairly fine wavy hair. I shampoo, condition the ends, finger comb - squish to condish, rinse, dry with a t-shirt. Put gel through avoiding roots and using prayer hands. Mousse at roots then dry my hair with a diffuser using the Manes by Mell technique.

Hi @MoreThanImFeeling - that's pretty much what I do except I don't use shampoo, I just co-wash. Not sure what the Manes by Mell technique is but sometimes I air dry, sometimes diffuse. My hair is just going so straight and lifeless now though and I just can't seem to nail the right products.

Do you clarify your hair every so often?

Co washing did not work for me - it made my hair limp and often people with finer hair say the same - so I use a very mild shampoo. You may need to clarify your hair with a sulphate shampoo to remove build up.
Anyway here's mell's technique

Yes, I clarify and - sorry to sound like a broken record! - but that doesn't really do much either. Just makes my hair feel stripped.
Which shampoo do you use?

I use Devacurl Loo poo delight, I don't clarify often...I don't feel the need. Have you tried less conditioner? I didn't use any conditioner for a while and that made my hair curlier.

Yes, I was wondering if too much conditioner might be a problem

Stop washing it with conditioner. I can get away with washing my hair every three days but I have to use shampoo otherwise I get limp horrible roots.

Do you wash your hair in the shower? Could it perhaps be the water pressure isn't good enough?

Yes, I wash in the shower. Water pressure is good.

It's all very confusing because the more curly your hair is the more moisture you are likely to need but those of us with wavy hair often do not need so much in the way of conditioner...it's worth experimenting with. I feel your pain though I have spent ages on this journey my hair has improved but I'm always after better.

Got a water softener a month or so ago for other reasons, but my head is MARKEDLY less frizzy, with no other change to routine.

Fine curly hair, wash with pureology conditioner only most days, brush with tangle teezer with conditioner on, dry in t shirt with Boots curl cream.

It is very confusing, isn't it? Especially if you read all the forums - there's so much information and so many different combinations of products, techniques etc to try that it could take you years just to try them all.

Re the water softener - interesting that it makes your hair less frizzy. Frizz isn't really my problem - lank, lifelessness is!!

However, have tried coconut-free this morning and I don't want to get too excited (because my hair sometimes looks good for 5 minutes after washing and then crap for the rest of the day) but after having straight, limp hair yesterday, I have ringlets around the front of my face....