How do you get that sexy x factor?

[Aleesha1]

Just thinking aloud as I think I look nice rather than sexy these days. What gives someone that je ne sais quoi as I simply don't feel like I have it! Is it all about confidence?

It’s a certain sparkle in the eyes, not everybody has it and it has nothing to do with age so it’s not something you loose as you get older. For example, Victoria Beckham hasn’t got it although she does look very nice, the French President’s wife has got it and she doesn’t look very nice not because of her age she simply isn’t that nice looking as a woman.
Anyway, that’s my personal opinion.

@Branster I think you are right! But how does one get it? I feel I look tired and drained these days and have lost my glint

I always feel sexiest with slightly messy hair

Ah, I don’t think it’s something you can acquire or train yourself to have. And it’s one of those things you don’t know if you have it or not. Sexy is different than attractive, than glamorous, than beautiful, than stylish, than groomed and all the rest of it.
Strictly from personal observation, it would appear those who are very comfortable in their own skin (regardless of what they look like or their age) have it.
You may be alluding to feeling a bit invisible to the world compared to the reactions you used to get prior to feeling like you are now? That’s probably not necessarily about being sexy but feeling a bit appreciated for your looks.
It doesn’t matter what you look like, people are drawn to a certain attitude which you sometimes get by simply wearing your best fitted item of clothing, you know that one dress or one pair of jeans that fits like a glove, yet it is comfortable and feels like part of you. And it doesn’t have to be a particular style as long as it suits you and you feel good in it.
I think I know how feel, I get those days sometimes usually during very cold weather when I look like a cross between Michelin Man and Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer and am a bit tired as well because I’m cold and wearing winter clothes for walking is so uncomfortable so I don’t feel great in myself but needs must.
I have no idea if I have IT but I know I feel great wearing matching underwear, having clean hair and clean nails. There are some items of clothing I know always draw attention, they are not tight or slutty or anything but they fit well and are a bit interesting and it feels nice to be noticed - and why shouldn’t it?!
Then there’s magnetism some people simply have and again it’s something you either have or you don’t, people I know who have it tend to take a real interest in the other people either with a look or a word and sort of draw them in under their spell and then they simply shine. No idea how it works but it is fascinating.
Do you get enough restful sleep? I don’t know how old you are, but since mid 30s I noticed my face needs a bit of time to settle in the morning if I haven’t slept properly, can’t put my finger on the problem but it just doesn’t look as relaxed and glowy as normal.

It’s a feeling, isn’t it. It’s being in touch with your sexuality, being sexually alive and interesting, and interested. A sparkle in the eye is exactly right. I know how to do it and can turn it off or on at will. I think it’s an attitude of sexual confidence, and it’s not directly related to how you look. It’s about how you carry yourself.