Personal shoppers: I need your recommendations, before I slump into middle aged matronhood for ever and never dare leave the Inferiority Complex again

[motherinferior]

I hardly ever start threads these days, but oh please fellow MNers, I need help. Especially as I'm working three days a week in a Proper Office, where jeans are permissible but you do have to look quite presentable, and some of my lovely colleagues regularly pop out to spend squillions on a nice new frock.

I really do seem to have lost the plot, style-wise, over the past seven years (oddly enough, the ones coinciding first with motherhood and then with turning 40, and then with motherhood part 2). I don't want to turn into a Proper Laydee but I do need quite badly to revamp my act a bit and drag it out of quite such current mumsiness.

Where would you recommend? Am a shortarse, probably not quite as enormous as I think I am as I fit a size 10 around the bottom and 12 around the norks, red hair, still a bit of a vintagebohohippywanabe, don't do flat shoes, do do norks. Can spend some cash but not squillions...

MI, are you looking for a recommendation FOR a personal shopper?
If you are I know JUST the right lady. She is my oldest, bestest friend (friends at school, bridesmaid and godmother to my children) and she has recently started her own personal shopping service - but she has 15 years experience in the trade (was a buyer for various stores during her pre baby career) ...
She is just lovely, kind and wonderful (much more gentle and way kinder than any of those trinny and susannah/woman from 10yrs younger women)
If you want me to put you in touch with her, drop me an email on ghostyandmeg(at)bigpond(dot)com and I will forward her email addy to you.

I like Fenwick. It feels mumsy but they actually have some nice stuff and (i) there's no loud music; (ii) there's no-one under the age of 25 other than the staff; and (iii) you can usually nip into the brow bar without making an appointment.

Of course, I only go shopping about once a year, so can't claim a great deal of familiarity / expertise.

I used to only wear flat shoes and heels have been a revelation to me. they rule.

Because I like being able to walk. I walk quite a lot. I last tried shoes with heels on when I was 17, I think, and got massive blisters. They're a non-negotiable, I'm afraid.

My feet are small - size two and a half - if that matters.

Ah motherinferior how I relate to your post. I'm out there buying stuff but so unsure as to whether I'm looking 'muttony' or 'lamby'; obviously look I want is 'fluffy ewe in prime of life, still with a sparkle in her eye.'
I'm coming to some conclusions.

1. Less obvious make up is good - too bright and you're trying to hard and it highlights your wrinkles.

2. Good hair - you have to spend money.

3. Accessories are becoming more important - you can get away with 'interesting statement' type jewellry/bag/shoes and it sends a message ' I can't wear dungaree shorts now but I've still got the eye and I can find great stuff like the rest of you'

4. clothes - I spend a bit too much time in Topshop Oxford Circus trying to be clever, occasionally it works and usually in the Boutique bit. Several ladies I know have had great success with their style advisors, haven't done it so can't reccommend.

5. it's more work - especially in the summer months, loads more work.

Glorious to discuss it though

I wear flat (or small heel) to work, from LK Bennett

Jeans not even on my work radar (I don't work in a magazine office!) even though I wear them at home a lot.

There are lots of cool trendy trousers around which look far less mumsy than a skirt for office wear.

It is more work in summer, isn't it?

My other problem with trousers, of course, is the shortarsiness. I definitely need someone external to Take Me In Hand.

I know exactly what you mean MI,
I'm short too but often heels will make the difference, they can be very flattering. The hieight will slim you down (I need that) and they flatter your legs accentuating your calves and making them seem longer.
I hate uncomfortable heels, but honestly there are some seriously comfy wedges out there.
In fact mine are Clarks

You don't have to wear heels all the time, it's just sometimes that's what you need to make yourself feel smart.

What I've done is develop a sort of style that is all about trousers (buying the latest cut every season but still on the classic edge) worn with little tops and cardis (but nice ones, silk/cotton mixtures) or a jacket in winter, occasional skirt.

What's best for the smart informal look is to wear tailored jacket with looser trouser cut or smark skirt with feminine top kind of thing. ie. mix rather than all severe or all boho.

Then I just buy variants of the same stuff every season, and stick to similar colours usually.

Oh and my best tip of all time, avoid Boden

I've found a little shop called Fashion Bitch which has clothes designed and made by the woman who owns it (she's my age)
Not expensive - I have a dress from there that really works (£68)

I don't wear heels everywhere either unless I'm in boots. I have my heels at work and will occasionally put them on if event merits.

ooh is it like mode magazine?

Agree re Boden and never buy anything from M & S (knickers/vests/tights excluded)

Agree Welshmum, I did buy a navy skirt from them once and it was instantly middleaging.

Do you need to wear petite sizes for skirts and trousers?

Principles has a petite section (have a look online) and their clothes seem ok to me. Although they haven't got much atm - maybe because we're in between seasons - or something

Links to comfy wedges anybody please? Mine are lovely but certainly not comfy.

MI - dresses over jeans can look quite nice and not mumsy, if you can manage to get one that doesn't clump around your waist and make you look a size bigger than you are. I quite like Oasis kimono type ones.

Yes,Ilike the tunic dress thing over trousers. The thing is,where do forty-ish mums who want to be trndy without being muttony shop?

MI - I fear there are alot of us in your predicament, so will be watching the suggestions on this thread with interest.

I find I rarely go shopping for myself because: a) I don't enjoy it anymore b) my free time is so limited, and shopping doesn't appeal as an 'optional' activity c) I'm convinced that eventually I will lose the 2 stone extra weight which has attached itself to my bum/hips/tum/thighs and only then does it make sense to spend money on nice clothes.

Sadly, many of my recent purchases (in the last few years) have been functional/utilitarian based on whether or not I generally like the look of something on the hanger in the shop, and whether or not it fits. It has been a long time since I've bought anything I felt excited about wearing. I'm simply hoping for presentable these days, rather than pretty/stylish/fun.

Do any of those fashion-y types know any stylists who could take you in hand? We have so many threads here about careers that have morphed into something else post kids, that I think there must be some Mummy fashionistas who'd take you shopping/be a personal style guru for an hourly rate. I'd love to find someone like that. It'd be like shopping with a mate, so much more fun than trudging around shops on your own staring at dimpled thighs in badly lit dressing rooms...

I have done a few personal shopping sessions at topshop which have been great, definitely done best with a pal. Not too scary, despite the fact that each time I was helped by a child who looked about 12 and weighted, oooh, about 6 stone. She tried hard to understand my concern at the post baby gut I was still carrying around with me and my desire not to be too mumsy..... They book 6 weeks in advance at Oxford Circus.
Also, having had #2 6 months ago and attempted again to buy NICE things (not too £££ or mumsy or over fashionable, whilst at the same time trying to seem at least a bit on trend...), Whistles and French Connection have both been quite good...
Good Luck, and do please keep us all informed with a personal shopping blog....!

I think I'm going to try the Topshop stylist thing - just for fun.
Hi Earlybird - I think you need to treat yourself, sod the extra weight you think you're carrying. I had a sobering thought the other day, when I get to 50 I'll be wondering why I didn't make the most of my 40s.

The topshop thing is good fun, and you can either trawl around the shop floor with them to choose your items, or tell them about your likes and dislikes and let them do the trawling (much the best thing). No obligation to buy, separate changing rooms and paying area (hurrah, no queues...), and if you get home and realise you've made a terrible mistake or two, then it's al returnable.
For the very brave, you can do Topshop To Go, where they bring all the gear to your house, whilst you provide a few friends to shop as well. Then on top of everything you as host get a 20% discount....

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