Don't know how to manage my hair anymore!

[goldpendant]

Hello S&B,

I'm having major issues with my hair and I wondered if anyone has similar hair to me and advice!

I've got long-ish highlighted hair, mousey blonde/brunette, but I've highlighted on and off for years. It's fairly fine hair, but I've kids and loads of it - it's so thick. It's pretty dry but not in dreadful condition.

These days I cannot get a brush through it after washing without a major battle. It's frizzy, wavy in the wrong places, and just so bulky that the natural look is just frumpy on me. From start to finish to wash, dry and then straighten I'm looking at 1.5hrs.

When styled properly it looks lovely but I just don't have the time or skill or finance to achieve this on a regular basis. I've had two Brazilian/keratin treatments which don't seem to work on me and certainly don't last more than a couple of weeks.

I've included a few pics, longer, shorter, blonder and balayage (which I found ageing on me). I'd appreciate your opinions on what looks best and would be easiest to keep looking good? I've scribbled out my face but you get the idea of how my hair is when styled. I'm feeling that even though shorter hair technically requires more styling, at least there's less of it when I have to style my long hair already....

Sorry this has been really long! Advice much appreciated!

Pics!

First pic had a lot of colour in it but obviously shorter so would in theory take less time to style - although every other day styling would be non negotiable.

Second pic was a balayage that I loved for a few days but then found very full having been blonde so long!

I'm now long with more colour.... and it's not working for me!

Pics!

First pic had a lot of colour in it but obviously shorter so would in theory take less time to style - although every other day styling would be non negotiable.

Second pic was a balayage that I loved for a few days but then found very full having been blonde so long!

I'm now long with more colour.... and it's not working for me!

Pics!

First pic had a lot of colour in it but obviously shorter so would in theory take less time to style - although every other day styling would be non negotiable.

Second pic was a balayage that I loved for a few days but then found very full having been blonde so long!

I'm now long with more colour.... and it's not working for me!

Pics!

First pic had a lot of colour in it but obviously shorter so would in theory take less time to style - although every other day styling would be non negotiable.

Second pic was a balayage that I loved for a few days but then found very full having been blonde so long!

I'm now long with more colour.... and it's not working for me!

First pic had a lot of colour in it but obviously shorter so would in theory take less time to style - although every other day styling would be non negotiable.

Second pic was a balayage that I loved for a few days but then found very full having been blonde so long!

I'm now long with more colour.... and it's not working for me!

Any hairdressers about??

Whoops - can anyone see the pics?

Trying again with pics

And again

I have super thick hair that's been highlighted for years. I have to have it thinned out every 6 weeks otherwise it's too much to cope with. I use a hydrating shampoo and conditioner like Moroccan Oil. I generally straighten pretty much every day but I try and leave it dry naturally as much as possible. Not going to be much help to you as I struggle too! Has your hairdresser not suggested anything to you? Thinning/layers?

Why not try Curly girl method - google it - to enhance your natural wave - can't see pics but a good cut sounds in order - google wavy graduated lob. You're fughting too much against the natural texture of your hair.

So annoying I don't know why pics aren't loading. I can't get on with curly girl at least not as long as it is at the moment because I couldn't even brush it without conditioner!

Layers just seem to make the frizz worse!

Can't see any pics OP so can't say about colour or cut really but I'd take length off the ends almost certainly, have it thinned out by a hairdresser and then focus on other things - buy a tangle teezer, condition the ends when you wash, use at home treatments and/or serums etc. I'd have a look at getting a more powerful hair dryer too, they really are a life saver!

Do you have Olaplex when you have the colour done? That makes a big difference, and you can then do Olaplex 3 at home. If you're having bleach or colour your hair will need some protein in your shampoo/conditioner.

The keratin treatments will wreck your hair long term, they're probably why it's now not doing so well. Oil also isn't great for dry hair as it seals the hair and stops moisture getting in.

In terms of brushing it after washing I find a dilute solution of ape cider vinegar with cooled booked water works as either a conditioner (sprayed onto the hair after washing and rinsed) or as a detangler (sprayed onto hair directly). Can get a brush straight through afterwards whereas before my hair was a knotty mess. Sounds weird I know but it does work!

Sounds like my hair. I don't do full CG. But the more I embrace the curl, the curler it gets. Curly girl doesn't mean no conditioner. It means more moisture for your hair. Curls are naturally drier. Add in the colour and boom.

Try some CG friendly shampoo and conditioners. My fave are the Trepadora range. They do lots of products and the babasu quench is good and the macca one. Then allow to dry naturally and see where the curl goes. You'll need it shorter to begin with, if it's like mine it could take all day to dry naturally! You could also try a diffuser on your hairdryer.

Pure Coconut oil. I buy it from Holland and Barratt. It keeps my hair under control like no other product. I even take it to the beach on holiday.

Don't think you understand CG OP - it's ALL about the conditioner and absolutely no brushing allowed.

Ok thanks for this everyone. Got a cut booked tomorrow so I'll get a decent amount off. Hairdressers never seem too helpful.... they never seem to understand that not everyone has the ability or time to Blowdry straight!

Diffuser yes I'll try. I have a GHD dryer so hope they do a diffuser. Coconut oil I have for cooking so will try

Pics might work now??

No brushing for CG???

Another vote for Olaplex. I’d start off with the in-salon stand alone treatment then do top-ups with the at home one once every 1-2 weeks.

I have similar hair and it started being much more difficult to manage in my late 30s/early 40s after my mum died. Hairdresser said any stressful experience can change your hair texture.

Also a regular oil soak (I use a mix of castor oil and jojoba, leave on for 2-3 hours or overnight then shampoo out). I do this once every 1-2 weeks.

And see if you can find a protein mask your hair likes. Again, once every 1-2 weeks. I buy silk proteins from Akoma Skincare nd mix them in with a thick conditioner.

I also CWC (condition-wash-condition- which means I protect my hair ends and lengths with conditioner before I shampoo). If I’ve got oil or olaplex on my hair I let it stand in for the first Condition.

A leave-in conditioner spray with hyaluronic acid is also good as a final step before drying. I like Urtekram Nordic Berries.

Basically I wash my hair every 2-3 days and use one of the treatments in rotation pretty much every time I wash it.

Final think is that I try to avoid blow drying, and if I do it, I use cool shot all the way through. Babyliss EQ has cool shot switch which stays on rather than a button which needs to be held down which helps.

I’d kill for that

I've just got the Revlon One Step - it's basically a dryer and brush in one. I've got thick, waist length hair and I used it for the first time on damp (not soaking) hair and it was dry and styled in 20 minutes. I was gobsmacked to be honest! Definitely worth looking into.

You have to accept that you have high maintenance hair but it is absolutely gorgeous so don’t go crazy and cut it short or anything like that! I particularly like the blonder look. My hair is similar In thickness and I second coconut oil, also the John Frieda frizz ease rich conditioner in a tub. I’m going to try olaplex too plus putting conditioner on the hair ends before shampooing which makes good sense. I’ve managed to get my hair used to infrequent washing as like yours it takes most of the evening to wash, dry and straighten. I can go about 6 days between washes now.