Feel incredibly ugly no matter what!?

[Maybe2020]

What it says in the title really, I feel ugly most of the time and no matter what I do. I’m late 20s, not the slimmest at 11.5stone 5”4 but not “big” either I’m just in between. I have always had a belly, even at my slimmest (8 stone!) exercise does nothing for it.
It makes me feel so so terrible about my figure. I just feel an odd shape I have massive chest (talking 36e-f) only thing I quite like is my legs.
I just can’t seem to look put together. However weird I might sound even when my hair is done and a full face I feel like I’m mutton dressed as lamb. I’ve always had no confidence in myself but it got better as I slimmed Down I then met my other half and put loads on over the years. I’ve been told I’m beautiful but I always feel like their taking the piss as I don’t see it myself. For example a girl I met through a mutual friend at a hen do walked upto me and said god I think your stunning, looked at her friend and said and I don’t say that to just anybody do I?, then turned back to me and said your so pretty. I said Thankyou went red in the face and then for months on end kept thinking she had only said it out of pity. I still wonder now why she said it, when there was a much prettier girl amongst the group that night.
I don’t now how to make myself love myself a bit more if that makes sense? My hair is vey long and thick but my hairline is quite back so I hate it and I think it makes me look like I’m going bald. My nose is big from the side angle. My eye are quite big but I pull at my eyelashes due to anxiety and have patches. My lips are full at the bottom but not the top and my teeth are ok due to having braces years ago but are yellowed from being an ex smoker. I’m not toned at all and my belly overhangs and I look terrible in tight fitted dresses.
I don’t sctually know why I’m writing this just having a shit day today about my appearance and was wondering if it was normal to feel like this? I’m so sick of being fed up because of how I look in the mirror!.

Oh, I hated reading you down on yourself like this.

That lovely woman sounds like she was being sincere and truth is there are very few people who are actually ugly (horrible word)

You need a big old dollop of self esteem and what can help with this, weird as it seems is to give out compliments of your own, sincere ones like admiring the cashiers nails/bracelet or telling someone you love their perfume, making other people feel good comes back to you I promise, it’s not exactly fishing for compliments back but you will naturally get some, it’s more that your local shop assistant will remember you, be pleased to see you, then you’ll feel good and so confidence begins to grow.

I’m sure you’re lovely but to give a boost, maybe see the dental hygienist for a good polish, a bright lipstick livens up the face and nice underwear is important too.

Every day, repeat after me ‘I am much more than good enough’

Couldn't have put it better than the PP.
Be kinder to yourself and remember, you're more than just how you look.

Everyone has down days, that’s normal.

However I can’t agree more than the PP. dish out compliments, it will make you feel better, also remember beauty really is just skin deep, and skin is thin, be a better person...kind, loyal, loving and it will work from the inside out.

You are more than enough....you are strong and you are kind...this makes upu more than just beautiful.....say it at least 3 times a day!

Do you have a girly girlfriend you trust implicitly, that you've known for years, and trust to be kind? If you do, and you like her style, I'd share my insecurities and ask her for some thoughts.

It may be that she'd love to help. But the devilinablackdress is right when she advises that life is about more than how you look. Character, resilience and a sense of who you are and what's really important matters much, much more.

Did you get genetically lucky with legs, or are you a dancer?
Enjoy how your legs look and work.

I have a good self esteem when it comes down to my personality, I’m very kind generous and friendly. Have always been told I’m a nice person. I just seem to hate the way I look.

Sounds like body dysmorphia(sp? ). You can get referred to therapy for that. I've always thought of myself as plain but people tell me I'm pretty, I can see it in old photos but not any current one.

I'd recommend therapy too. Speak to your GP to see what they recommend. You've mentioned anxiety too, cognitive behaviour therapy might be worth looking into.

We're all self critical, but you are very negative about yourself and this will quickly become a vicious circle. Smile when you're complimented and remember it when you feel bad.

Sounds like it could be body dysmorphia but sounds like all you can do is make the best of yourself like that’s all any of us can do really
So perhaps start with your hair go to the besthIrdressers you can explain your concerns with your hair and you feel your hairline is v far back and what can-she he recommend
Then when that’s the best it can be
Go to Bobbi brown for a makeover
Then book a personal stylist session like John Lewis
And try n her at least one or two outfits that you feel good in or even not terrible if that’s the best you feel you can aim for

Also I’d try n do a bit more exceriskng and healthy and maybe try n lose a stone over time

Good luck op

Lots of great advice here OP, I'm sorry you're feeling like this.
I have a bit of a random suggestion - have you ever considered trying a new team sport? I used to play roller derby, it did wonders for my self confidence and helped me to see my body is a completely different, positive light. I also made some amazing new friends and over-came physical challenges I thought would be impossible ☺️

It is so sad when women do themselves down. There are enough people doing it to us anyway!

If you are concerned about your hairline, please go to a decent hairdressers and get their advice about styles. As others have said go to get a makeover. You don't have to buy their stuff if you don't want to or take all the advice if it doesn't feel like 'you'.

I always give compliments to women if I think they look great. I used to get very embarrassed if I got a compliment myself but no I thank the person.

I have loads of things I absolutely HATE about my body (I think we all probably do). When I was an adolescent, they were all I could focus on: my uneven ears, my big tummy, my one boob much bigger than the other, my white wobbly legs etc etc. I still have all these flaws... But now I focus on my lovely blonde hair, my pretty face (with the right makeup!) my fabulous clothes, I buy great bras and have expensive fake tan to hide the wobbles and the whiteness and the stretch marks.

I now realise that how good looking you are is all down to being confident enough inside, to go to the effort of maximising your good points and ignoring (or even camouflaging!) your bad ones. If you allow yourself to focus only on your weaker features you'll give up before you've even started.

I feel like this too, I hate looking in the mirror, hate trying on clothes in shops. I feel like my body is a odd shape. I got upset a few days ago as someone took photos at me at a family event and posted them on Fb, I hate seeing myself, my shoulders always look slumped, my posture is rubbish and I hate the look of my bum. I am 5”3 and around 9 stone, I know I’m a good size, I have the perfect bmi and keep reasonably fit but I still think I look awful due to my shape.

But it's not accurate. Your body is not an odd shape. You might be able to make it a better shape with exercise and breathing better, but unless you are grossly deformed by polio or a severe motor condition, you can, with exercise and diet, make it better. Yoga or Pilates are good starting points but yoga is usually less expensive and more widely available.

I think at your age, weight and height, it really can't be that bad.
If tight dresses don't flatter you, then wear something else that does.
If you don't like your hairline, could you get a fringe? Maybe talk to a hairdresser about a different hairstyle if you feel yours doesn't flatter?
If your teeth are yellow, go to the dentist for a clean and polish, and ask for advice re whitening.
None of us are perfect. And most people are worrying about what they look like, not finding fault with you. And if strangers are walking up to you telling you are stunning, then you probably do look pretty good.
Other posters have suggested trying yoga or more challenging sports so that you appreciate what your body can do - that's a great idea.
If you want clothes/make-up help you'll get it here, but sounds like it's more of a psychological thing, and focusing on strength and flexibility can help with that.

You got to learn to “own” what you consider are your imperfections . Absolutely everyone has what they think are imperfections and although these may feel massive to you, to everyone else they really won’t be.

I held his hand when he passed away and he obviously after being on steroids, having pneumonia and having a tube coming out of his head looked completly different. However it didn’t matter one bit as when that happens you realise that looks just don’t matter at all. Even now when I remember him, it’s him I remember not what he looked like.
This little antidote probably doesn’t help you in the here and now. But honestly life is far too short. Own the way you look my lovely! (I’m saying this as a teenager I couldn’t even look in the mirror as I thought I was so ugly).

I think you have to honestly think - how often do you see someone and think 'Wow, they're really ugly'? Would you really describe someone who looked like you as 'ugly' or having a 'weird body' if you saw them on the street?

Hardly anyone is actually 'ugly'. Most people just look average, and that's fine, it's enough.

Women are programmed from such an early age to think their value is in their looks, and maybe that was so when women were chatte tol be passed to a bloke and it takes a long time to get rid of that social programming even though women are so much more than that!

My hair is vey long and thick I am envious. Mine is thin and will not grow.
my hairline is quite back so I hate it A good hairdresser is all you need. Doesn't have to be expensive, just experienced.
My nose is big from the side angle Virtually everybody thinks this you know! It's straight though, I bet. Again, many people out there will be envious of that.

My eye are quite big but I pull at my eyelashes due to anxiety and have patches That can be sorted. I believe lash serums can be very good and if you start to feel a little better about yourself, your anxiety will naturally reduce.
My lips are full at the bottom but not the top Liner, my dear! That, and a YouTube tutorial are all you need.
my teeth are ok due to having braces years ago but are yellowed from being an ex smoker Once again, this can be sorted. Do you have any bicarb at home? Try a one-off brushing with it but you mustn't do this too often. There are some fabulous toothpastes on the market for yellowing too, I'm sure someone could recommend a good one.
I’m not toned at all and my belly overhangs Two choices here. Either get toned or choose clothes that flatter your body.
I look terrible in tight fitted dresses Don't wear 'em then! They only look good on 18 year olds anyway! Plenty of other beautiful, non-frumpy clothes out there for all sizes.