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Help - Outfit for Sikh wedding

22 replies

SingingGoldfinch · 16/06/2019 21:40

Hi stylish Mumsnetters! I'm after a bit of advice. Dh and I have been invited to a Sikh wedding which I'm really looking forward to but we've never been to one before and I'm having a bit of a stress about what to wear! From what I've read it's acceptable or even welcomed for guests to wear traditional dress but I'm just not sure I can pull it off so looking for something bright, relatively modest but dressy enough to cut it next to what I'm imaging will be some pretty flamboyant outfits. Does that sound about right to those with experience? I just really don't want to get it wrong!!

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Sooverthemill · 17/06/2019 09:38

I went to a Sikh wedding and most of the non Sikh women wore just nice 'posh' frocks. If you don't have anything suitable I'd suggest somewhere like phase eight or monsoon or coast which has a wedding guest section. I would suggest colourful if you are comfortable in it. The Sikh traditional celebration outfits can be incredibly expensive but are beautiful.if you are going to the Temple you need to be able to sit in the floor so the traditional outfit is very suitable! If it's just the western ceremony or reception that's not an issue.

SingingGoldfinch · 17/06/2019 10:26

Thanks sooverthemill - that's really helpful. We are going to the religious ceremony as well as reception so am looking for something I can sit on the floor in - looking at midi dresses and jumpsuits at the moment. I'm assuming I'll need to cover my shoulders and probably take a scarf for head too. It would be great fun to dress up in traditional dress but as you say they're so pricey and I really don't think I can justify it.

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stucknoue · 17/06/2019 10:39

Wear what you would wear to a western style wedding though choose something at least knee length and take a wrap if it's sleeveless. Sikhs are really welcoming I've found and will explain anything about the ceremony you don't understand.

SingingGoldfinch · 17/06/2019 10:53

Thanks so much! Really reassuring to know I'm thinking along the right lines. Good excuse to go shopping if nothing else but typically I always see dressy outfits I love when I have nothing to buy for and struggling to find something now I do!!

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Sooverthemill · 17/06/2019 10:55

Yes at some points you need to cover shoulders and head and short dresses were outdoors be disrespectful. I honestly think in that way it's like going to a traditional church wedding! I hope you have a lovely time, we are enchanted by the different elements of the ceremony ( the drumming was amazing) and so pleased to be included. I think you should avoid red or black ( like we avoid white). But I would simply ask your friend about any colours to avoid.

SingingGoldfinch · 17/06/2019 11:21

Thanks! Yes, I've read that red and black are to be avoided. I'm hoping to find something bright that falls below the knee. Unfortunately I don't know the bride at all (dh knows groom) so can't put my basic/silly questions to her which means I'm resorting to google and mumsnet!
I'm really excited that we've been invited and from what I've read it'll be a real treat to be part of such an amazing event. I don't suppose anyone will give my outfit a second glance in amongst all the glitz and glamour but I just really want to make sure I get it right!

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Hoppinggreen · 17/06/2019 11:50

I think a jumpsuit in quite a bright colour ( monsoon or Boden) with a contrast scarf for head/shoulders would be a good option
I’ve worn similar to both Hindu and Muslim ceremonies (although the Muslim one wasn’t the mosque bit)

SingingGoldfinch · 17/06/2019 14:48

Thanks Hoppinggreen! I've actually bought a bright green jumpsuit from Boden which I like and which looks ok apart from the length. Long is way too long and regular just a touch too short! Might end up having to settle for it if I can't find anything else though.

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Hoppinggreen · 17/06/2019 14:51

Can you get it taken up?

onedream · 17/06/2019 15:06

Hello,
To gurdwara (Sikh temple) don't forget your scarf for covering ur head, you will also need to leave your shoes behind in shoe rack before you enter further..don't wear red or white and something covering your legs and shoulders just to show respect will be essential..for the party I think you can wear whatever you fancy..traditional will be lovely and don't need to be very expensive I would give it a go and go to Indian shops maybe you find something you like in your budget..a nice anarkali suit is easy and comfy to wear..
Have a good time at the wedding Smile

SingingGoldfinch · 17/06/2019 19:44

Thanks onedream - do you mean that you need to wear something full length or would a mid-calf dress be ok? Also - is it ok to wear same outfit for both gurdwara and reception? Sorry for all the questions!

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onedream · 17/06/2019 20:34

@SingingGoldfinch midi length should be fine nothing about knees..you can wear the same outfit for both..some woman will change especially if the reception is in the evening and they have time in between the temple and reception they would wear suit (top, trousers, scarf) for the temple and lengha (top, skirt and scarf) or saree for the reception..if you go for western dress is perfectly ok to wear it to both, ceremony and reception..

Swiftier · 17/06/2019 21:06

My friend is Sikh and when he got married his mum took me and some of his other female friends out shopping, we all wore traditional Sikh outfits. Had loads of fun shopping, loved having a chance to wear something different too, we all got amazing brightly coloured outfits.

SingingGoldfinch · 18/06/2019 14:11

That sounds great fun Swiftier!! Sadly I don't have anyone to take me shopping for traditional clothes and I've no idea where to start on my own, which is why I plan to play it safe and stick to western clothes. The hunt continues but I'm sure I'll find something.

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Guadalquivir19 · 18/06/2019 20:16

www.diyaonline.com/

I've bought a few outfits from here and they're reasonably priced and good quality.

LarryUnderwood · 18/06/2019 20:21

I've been to a few Sikh weddings. Definitely the brighter the better, and in my experience you will be made very welcome. If you're going to the religious ceremony then definitely take a scarf to cover your hair, and your partner should take a handkerchief or white cotton cloth to cover his hair too (although they usually have these available for men in the gurdwara). also take a small amount of cash as an offering which is part of the ceremony. Have fun, they are fabulous weddings.

LarryUnderwood · 18/06/2019 20:25

Also if you are anywhere in London it may be worth a trip to southall, there are loads of clothes shops and tailors who can adjust for you, very helpful if you explain you're attending a wedding and want something appropriate, and you can get fab and not too expensive jewellery.

Silentnight87 · 18/06/2019 20:39

Hiya I'm Sikh. So will give you the basics

Ideally you should be covered head to toe. Hence why Indian outfits always have bottoms with it. You may feel uncomfortable if everyone else is covered and you're wearing a dress. But if you do. Please try to wear one that is below the knee and has a bit of give. There is a lot of bending over and bowing. So for modesty sake...😂 A longer dress or trousers are easier to sit on the floor with also.

You will need a headscarf. Mainly to cover your head. You can go sleeveless if you wish. Many people especially the younger generation do so.

Take a small amount of money- doesn't matter how much. As when you go into the hall, you would be expected to bow and place a voluntary contribution to the temple. Most people just give small amounts.

You would also be expected to sit on sides according to sex. So will be apart from your husband.

Take a small paper fan as the halls times to get crowded and overheat quickly...especially as we have a tendency to invite everyone and the milk man to weddings.

If you wish you could change for the reception. I only do so if I'm a close family/friend. At the reception anything is fine. You wouldn't be expected to cover your head.

If you want there are online market places that sell Indian clothes. Diya online. Has some decent stuff. If you want to buy from a shop go anywhere where there is a large Asian population. But if you don't see yourself being invited to another Asian function anytime soon, I wouldn't bother.

Alternatively if you have any Asian friends you could always borrow.

In terms of colours. They say to avoid black/white. But I think if you have a mix of colours it's fine. I.e. white blouse and yellow skirt. Also as most brides wear red, I would avoid this. But again mixing I feel should be fine.

SingingGoldfinch · 18/06/2019 22:42

Thank you! Such helpful and friendly advice. I've been looking at Indian outfits and they're beautiful but as I'm unlikely to be invited to about wedding like this I think I'll go for something western. Currently looking at jumpsuits...

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hiccupgate · 19/06/2019 10:02

I went to a sikh wedding a few years back. Strappy black jumpsuit with a bright pattern, peach coloured blazer and nude heels. Perfect for sitting down in!

Sooverthemill · 19/06/2019 11:54

I want a photo when you've decided!

Deathraystare · 20/06/2019 09:09

If you change your mind about wearing something 'exotic'..Khaadi do a load of tunics and trousers brightly coloured - there were I think 2 branches in Westfield at Shepherds Bush (not sure if the Stratford one has this shop.

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