How do I wear heels again without killing my feet

[Shitonthebloodything]

I have lived in flats and trainers for 14 years since having my kids and now any heels absolutely kill me. The balls of my feet are so so painful as soon as I put them on. Even trying them on feels like a chore. My feet are now bigger than they were and slightly wider.
I'd like to start wearing heels again to feel a bit more confident but my youngest is still small and I'm always on my feet so they need to be practical.

Is there any way I can 'train' my feet back into heels again? Or some that are actually comfortable for everyday wear?

Why put yourself through it? Is there anything else you could do that would give you a confidence hooray and didn't involve pain?

I find ankle boots with a heel more wearable than shoes with a heel for some reason. There is no reason to force yourself into heels but boots might be an option if you want to give them a go in more comfort.

Shoes with padded insoles are more comfortable

Heels are very dated and therefore quite ageing now. I'd stick with flats.

my "kids" 16 and 18 wear chunky heels with a platform sole - look higher than they are and the platform is "spongier" than straightforward heels.

wearing heels again to feel a bit more confident

Would it really make you more confident or are you just conditioned to think so?

Can you imagine anyone looking at the human skeleton and deciding that what would make you feel more confident would be to mess with the connection between the feet and the ground, in the way heels do ?

It's just social conditioning to make us think that elongating the line of the leg and making us less secure in our stance will build confidence.

Hope you find the confidence you need.

Thanks all. I used to wear heels all the time and they made me feel more put together and hold myself better I think most outfits look better with a heel on me so I'd love to find something I can be comfortable in.

Maybe keep the heels to shorter wear times, as in not in the house, not in the car, maybe a quick dander around the shops and school run. And a smaller heel to start with til you're comfortable. Same with boots.
I love heels and agree that they can 'make' an outfit. They just don't love me anymore.

I wear Clark's Dalia - they are surprisingly comfortable. I normally wear flats or boots.

I wear boots, trainers, sandals. I have no problems with heeled boots. I struggle with shoes - even if flat.

Luckily my base office is casual but for visiting other locations in spring I have to buy office shoes from M&S. I've had to accept they won't look good or make me happy and sadly am only aiming for appropriate but they are bearable.

I'd look at brands like Geox which are designed with a (not obvious) orthopaedic approach. At the moment block heels are in and they have nice ones.
Above all I would really really recommend Everlane day heels. Buttery leather and again designed for comfort. They go with everything. Seem to have been discovered by style youtubers recently if you want to see them in action.

@squeekywheel How are heels ‘very dated’ exactly? According to you, every single style of shoe with a heel is dated then? I completely disagree, I’m 22 and the majority of people my age wear heels. We just don’t wear kitten heels etc.

I don’t think heels are dated it’s just that there a lot more flats around now than there used to be. In fact there are a lot more of all styles including all different shapes and styles of heels. Heels are not dead

Unfortunately you probably need to buy new shoes and retire your old pairs - especially as you feel like the shape of your feet have changed so your old shoes are now uncomfortable. No point trying to essentially force your feet in unsuitable shoes under the guise of ‘training them for heels’. You might even take a different size or wider fit now.

You can certainly buy heeled shoes that are comfortable and easy to wear straight away. What sort of style of heeled shoes are you after? More comfortable styles generally have thicker/block heels. You can also buy padded insoles from Scholl/Boots which will give you more comfort. Heeled sandals and ankle boots are some easy options. If you go for shoes that involve straps around the toes, try a size up because your feet swell and expand through the day.

There was a thread on it recently. Will try and find it.

I think it's crazy to wear them if they're not comfortable. Life is too short to torture yourself.

Most younger women I know seem to live in trainers, sandshoes or docs. Ballet flats if they have to make an effort for work.

Heels are very hard to get right. You can end up walking like giraffe or looking like you're doing 80's power dressing if you're not careful.