Nearly 40 - please style me!

[SheSaidNoFuckThat]

So after reading another thread, it got me thinking about my upcoming 4-0. I'm short and constantly get told I don't look my age, average size 14, can someone help me? I have teenage DCs and want to be taken seriously but instead still dress like it's the 90s and Brit Bop/Grunge is the in thing

I'm in the same boat. I came across a mock make-up tutorial along the lines of "if youtube existed in the 90s", and although it was over-the-top and I don't look like the end result of that, I still do my make up more or less like I did it 20 years ago! The only thing I've let go has been the dry powder. All the talk about brows and contouring and various primers makes me feel slightly anxious.

I hadn't even thought about my clothes, but I sure am now!

You don't have to change style just because you're 40.

What goose said.

I really do, I dress the female equivalent of my 16 year old DS

@SystolicSyster my makeup is pretty much the same too, although have always done my brows so it wasn't new to me

Do you have a friend with a good eye who can go shopping with you? Alternatively, I can highly recommend booking a personal shopper at John Lewis. Don't need a big budget, no pressure to buy. The woman who helped me was brilliant and has Def helped me branch out of my (90s) comfort zone.

@forkfun my friends seem to be stuck in the same 90s rut as me, we are all clueless. Will have a look at the John Lewis thing but we don't have one where I live, there's one an hour or so away.

You don't have to go to John Lewis! My small Devon market town has five shops I'd try for clothes, none of them chainstores. If you go when it's quiet (most of the time in Devon) the owner will pull items FROM STOCK, that you can try on. And when reassured you want advice rather than validation, will say this looks better than that, and why. She (usually she) wants you to come back and buy more next year, and tell your friends how helpful she was, feeling happy you spent money and got what you wanted. And next year, if you engage with her, she is likely to recall (with prompting) what you bought and what has worked. You buy a wardrobe, not garments.

Honestly, an hour isn’t far! JL do well with this service. I think you could go for classics to kick off summer. Well cut jeans and chinos. Crisp shirts and linen for when it’s hotter. Well cut shift dresses in cotton and decent trainers, plimsoles and heels when necessary!

I agree @XingMing I get the best stuff from smaller boutiques

@XingMing I'm also in Devon, will have to see what's about locally. It's going to be hard to break so many years of dressing the same but really think I need a push

@BubblesBuddy just the mention of chinos is bringing me out in a cold sweat

@SheSaid, Totnes, Topsham or Tavistock!

Salcombe or Dartmouth for yachty types!

I’m in the same boat!! I live that you tube make up one of the 90s, it’s brilliant

I love the sound of that YouTube video. I’ll need to find it

Luckily I never wore makeup like that, brings back memories though 😂

I'm the same age and also having a bit of a crisis.

I've been doing my make up the same and that clip made me think too! I had a MAC make up lesson last week, it was really good and easy to recreate, I just look a bit more updated and had quite a few people compliment it.

I'm also thinking about having a style analysis done for more ideas on what to wear for my shape. I know a few people who've had it done by Susie Hasler (styled by Susie), it's online and the packages are really reasonable, they've all been thrilled with it and look fab.

It’s a really good idea on the make up lesson. I did buy some new make up from Charlotte tilbury recently but I think it’s better suited to skin in 20s. Any good suggestions for make up for 40s skin?

I'm not one for chinos, either, definitely! It's not so much that I'd feel the need to change my style because of my age. I'm just in a total style rut, and suddenly almost don't know what I like? I had to buy some new tops for the summer, and just stared at things in shops, not having any idea which ones to even try on. Ended up getting very basic one-colour t-shirts from a supermarket, as at least it's something to wear.

And wrt make up, I'm sure your age does matter. 20 years ago I had a lovely skin, but was still obsessed over every blemish and owned several concealers, and my main mission was to have as flat a colour as possible, from what I remember! Now my skin is dry and very sensitive, I have melasma on my face, and I'm starting to get lines around my eyes. My brows are losing their tail ends (my thyroid is fine!). So even if I was still super happy with my look (I'm not), your needs do change.

I'm not sure I could stomach going for a lesson on make up! I've tried watching some actual non-joke youtube tutorials, but it turns out make up talk is really boring. I'll try to power through... All set to get some eye brow stuff. Can't get my head around this idea of blush being essential, though; my life so far has been a mission to have a face that looks less red than it actually is!

No you don't have to change your style because of your age but, if you've been dressing the same way for what - 25 years? then I'm not surprised you're bored.

Do you know what kind of look you're after? Is it a more polished version of what you're already wearing or something totally different?

Regarding make up: I wasn't happy with mine a while ago and I toyed with going for a make up lesson but I reckoned they'd just try and sell me more stuff. So instead I gave up wearing it for a month. When I went back to it, I could see much more clearly what the problem was - in my case, foundation. I recommend it.

Well cut jeans and chinos. Crisp shirts and linen for when it’s hotter. Well cut shift dresses in cotton and decent trainers, plimsoles and heels when necessary She's 39 not 79.

I'm a complete makeup addict so am good on that front.

It's not because of my age exactly, but as said I've been dressing the same for so long it's just time to change it up a bit. I don't think I can go too far out of my comfort zone though, it's difficult. I also can't wear heels much as have knee problems so currently live in DMs and trainers (gazelle style mainly).

I think the problem is mainly that in my head it actually is still the 90s. I think if DH had his way he would dress me in tailored suits etc, he hates how I dress but never says anything as he knows he gets no choice

Best way to start is by updating what you wear now - a complete change will just make you feel uncomfortable. Then you can start being a bit more adventurous. Give us an example of what you'd wear on a regular day or on a night out - if it's t-shirts, jeans and trainers then it might be a question of better fitting jeans, better quality t-shirts, more on-trend trainers, then add a blazer or similar. Also don't do anything until you've had a proper bra fitting and invested in some decent underwear - it can transform your figure and the way your clothes hang.

Today I am wearing skinny jeans and a music/band hoodie with Adidas gazelles.

I wear skater style dresses with leggings (my legs NEVER see daylight), skinny jeans with jumpers/hoodies and I have a few lighter weight tops. All outfits are worn with DMs/trainers. I don't really go out to get dressed up