Impending style and beauty crisis - help!

[SinkGirl]

Argh. So I’ve been trying to get myself groomed for an event this weekend. It is not going well.

I’ve managed to burn my cheeks with a peel (left it on for less than half the time too!), my pores are more enormous than ever despite my best efforts, and I’ve made my hair lank and greasy with a masque - was nice yesterday but today it’s awful. Managed to ruin my nails and hands last week doing lots of cleaning - have been using cuticle oil for the last few days but they’re still a mess and some broke right down to the finger so they’re too short to paint.

I’ve now decided that the dress I bought looks awful. Ordered shapewear to go under it which is worse than useless and rolls down too, so that’s going back.

I have maybe three hours tomorrow while the kids are at nursery to find a dress and some underwear in a town without a massive range of options. Just spent an hour looking at every dress on ASOS and can’t find one I like so I don’t fancy my chances.

What’s worse is that DH asked me to buy him a smart outfit (he’s a jeans and t shirt man generally) and he looks bloody amazing while I’m a mess. I’m so embarrassed of the state of myself.

What do I do?!

I’m 5’2”, size 14 (sometimes 16 if right) with a horribly misshapen midsection / thighs / bum since I had twins. Even strong shape-wear doesn’t fix it. I still have a slight waist. I have average size chest (38C-D - except no decent bra, so I ordered some 34E and 36D trusting Boob or Bust’s calculator as everyone raves about it and I can barely fasten them and my boobs are spilling out). I’ve broken out in spots on my chest and back. I am gross and just want to feel good about myself because this is the first and only time in a very long time we will get to do something like this.

Clothing options where I live are Topshop, Monsoon, H&M, M&S, a small Next, Dorothy Perkins, River Island, Primark, I think there’s a Phase Eight.

Dress code is smart casual but it’s a very expensive place so elegance is key. Food is involved so don’t want to be too crushed by shapewear. Ideally I’d like to be covered up due to the bad skin that’s broken out and my flabby arms - low cut is okay, if I can find a nice bra and do something to calm my skin in the next couple of days. My calves are okay, if that helps 😂

(Oh, and one of the twins currently has a temp of 38.8 so there’s a good chance we are all about to get sick too please god don’t let it be chicken pox)

It’s something I cannot cancel on pain of death so I have to get my shit together. Please help me. I don’t know where to start. I probably need to start with my burnt cheeks - I’ve been applying some facial oil to the area today and yesterday to try and stop it going dry but not sure if that’s the best idea.

It’s totally my fault for leaving things so late but life is rather hectic these days and I haven’t adjusted to the fact that dealing with my new body and horrible skin is much harder than it was!

would something like this work OP? it has next day delivery (choose at checkout) so would be here in time. the bras from there are good too and i have found the sizing to be accurate. all the best x

Oh thank you - I’m not sure it would work on me (dresses this length generally are a weird length on me because I’m so short!). Have never ordered from there, will have a look!

If next still sell the Scarlett and jo Marilyn dress I would highly recommend. It's smart, gives you a lovely shape and very easy to wear. You could order now and have it tomorrow, home delivery possibly pick up too.

What about this? It comes In petite and you could dress it up with nice heels and jewellery.
If your skin isn't looking great, Estée Lauder double wear is a heavy foundation that covers most things.
Just file your nails the best you can and paint either clear or a very pale colour.
Remember, wear a nice lipstick - lipstick alone can change me from feeling blah to feeling great!

I'll make you feel better, you won't have enormous pores, contrary to popular belief you can't shrink pores, all you can do is to find something to fill them so they'll be less noticeable. So that's easy.

I should say that my pores look worse than ever now, partly because my face seems oilier (I think it’s a cyclical thing causing all these breakouts on my chest and back too - great timing!). To be fair, my huge pores will be the least of my worries when I have two huge scabby areas on the face where I’ve burnt myself with the peel! Just tried aftersun on the area which just burns

The primer I bought made no difference but I’ve got Benefit porefessional coming tomorrow, and I’ve got Urban Decay all nighter foundation and powder. Hopefully they’ll do the trick but I’m giving up trying any make up again until tomorrow.

Thanks for the dress suggestions, will have a look tomorrow. I tend to avoid petite short dresses as they are generally too short. Vintage style dresses like the one mentioned never ever fit me right - always too long in the body and too long overall. Will see what I can find.

For your cheeks - La Roche Posey cicaplast b5 cream (boots) and Pure Potions Skin Salvation Moisturising Ointment (Holland and Barrett), and la roche Posey toleriane nuit moisturizer also in boots. The Pure Potions stuff can be miraculous if it suits your skin. The La Roche Posey things should be non stingy. Maybe get some LRP sunscreen too to protect your face from burning if you've been doing peels.

Ok, so for greasy hair, get a clarifying shampoo to remove all deposits from hair and start again. Or book a blow dry.

Can you book/afford a make up person? If not get on to YouTube to learn some make up voodoo. And carry some light powder to top up on the day.

I'm learning to wear what I've got if I am panicking. Is there anything that you can accessorise well? High heels will help straighten you out a bit.

Good luck!

Thanks all. Just heading back from town with some stuff to hopefully fix my skin and hair and some new underwear which will hopefully make the dresses I have more bearable! Tried on about 20 things, all awful. I absolutely hate feeling like this!

You need a silicone primer for your pores - the benefit jollop should work a treat.
Rimmel do an excellent mattifying powder. It's about a fiver and keeps oilyness at bay all day.

Treasure hair with head and shoulders. That stuff gets everything out. Use conditioner on ends only. And book a blow dry.

Can you slap calamine lotion or similar on your face while you're home? Failing that, aloe Vera gel.

Shapewear: you can't beat the M& S wear your own bra all in one bodysuit. It's miraculous. DO NOT SIZE DOWN, your regular size will work perfectly.

Treasure hair??? Sorry, treat your hair that should read!

How about a trouser suit with a lovely cami underneath? Asos have loads at the moment. Would you have time to fit in a calming facial?

That’s the shapewear I’ve just bought! I thought it worked well so need to try on my dress again.

I have tried the ordinary silicone primer but hasn’t made much difference. Just got a very small tube of benefit porefessional which I’ll test later and I have the Urban Decay All Nighter Foundation and powder after seeing it work wonders for others.

I see videos of people all the time with lots of skin problems managing to get a pretty flawless look and I don’t know how! I don’t have any big spots, I have a few small patches of hyperpigmentation but mainly it’s just my pores which are so visible now all over my face.

Just got my Estée Lauder set of night repair products so they’re going to be used tonight! My cheeks aren’t so bad now. Put factor 50 on when I went out so I wouldn’t burn more!

Will have to do a make up run later. This is what happens when you spend years not making an effort! I’ve spent hundreds of pounds this week on face products, hair products and make up but at least I’m all set now 😂

No time for a facial sadly. I thought about it this week but things have been hectic (I have disabled twin toddlers, time to myself doesn’t really happen and special nights out like this never happen which I think is why I fee under so much pressure - that and the fact that my sister is impossibly stylish, slim and gorgeous and my DH looks fantastic in the outfit I got him, I don’t want to be an embarassment!)

I find it so difficult to find nice clothes as a fairly short and wide person - petite stuff is always cut so narrow, normal size never fits well around the shoulders so I look scruffy automagically.

Didn’t think of trouser suits - tried on a few jumpsuits and... god no. Awful.

Too late to get anything new now, so will have to find the best of what I have. May post some photos later and see what you all think.

Could you get a spray tan tomorrow? Instant healthier looking skin and will hide the spots?

No time for a spray tan sadly. Have been putting niacinamide on my chest though which seems to have helped.

Just used the Estée Lauder powerfoil mask that was part of the set I bought... wow it’s good! My skin looks so much better. Shame they’re so expensive - once a week my arse!