Summer is here! I want to waft! I'm not a wafty person! Help me waft. Or help me no longer want to waft.

[HepburnKNotA]

I'm tall (5 foot 8) athletic build, long torso, tiny boobs and embarrasingly scrawny legs.

I'm also pale. Not etherally-beautifully-pale, but grey-ish pale with lots of freckles. Like, the kind of pale where you wonder if I might really be part-vampire.

I look FABULOUS (oh yes I do) in winter, all done up in a nice structured coat, amazing boots etc.

When summery weather comes, I instantly want to become some kind of lightly-golden, curvy Latina. I want to wear wafty things. I WANT TO WAFT, dammit.

I have bought a stunning kimono, after getting sucked in by the kimono thread on here. I adore it. I have just tried to wear it (over vest top and boyfriend khakis) and I look ridiculous. Mostly, I FEEL ridiculous. It just doesn't work, with my height, my build. It's too boxy and makes me look wider than I am (I'm only a size 10 but looking wider doesn't work on me as I'm so broad-shouldered too that I start to look like a rugby player). The stunning cherry blossom pattern makes me look drained and drab, even though it's in colours that usually work for me.

Yesterday I tried looking on the jaunty side of wafty. I tried flower-patterned chinos from H&M that I fell in love with. I looked and felt ridiculous. Nothing I own quite works with them. Anything that MIGHT work with them are the things I usually don't wear because - are you spotting a theme here - they're the things from the back of my wardrobe that make me feel ridiculous.

BUT I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE ENTIRE SUMMER IN AN ADMITTEDLY VERY NICE VARIETY OF GREY AND NAVY TUNIC SHIRT-DRESSES AND TRAINERS, WHICH ARE THE ONLY SUMMER CLOTHES I EVER SEEM TO LOOK AND FEEL MYSELF IN.

I want to be able to throw this bloody kimono on over a vest and these trousers, or jeans, and look sultry and Parisian.

Is it the lack of tan? I do fake-tan my legs in summer (otherwise small children would flee from me) but I HATE fake tan on my upper body/face as I can never ever get it right and it just looks, well, fake.

Is it my build? Not much I can do about that. I'm slim and tall, isn't that meant to be what everyone wants??!!! Ah, I guess the barrel chest, no boobs and massive shoulders don't help :(

Basically, what should I do? I want to waft. I'm not a wafty person. Can I waft, or should I give up?

Oh, I should add. I'm early 40s.

I'm SO much more confident now than I was in my 20s and early 30s, I know myself and I know what suits ms, so counter-intuitively I no longer want to stick to the clothes I know are 'safe', if that makes sense.

I've recognised that I was crazy all those years when I was too paralysed with self-loathing to wear a miniskirt, I should have worn that damn miniskirt.

So now, even though I really know the style that works for me (minimalist, structured, sometimes preppy) I'm drawn to the idea of TRYING NEW STUFF, because fashion is meant to be fun, right? I work from home, in a creative job, I don't actually have to abide by any workplace rules etc.

I feel if I don't nail this sodding (stunning) kimono, then I am letting an opportunity for growth and change pass me by

I find the only way to wear a kimono without looking the size of a house is to wear something very streamlined and all one colour underneath. either narrow 3/4 length trousers and a slim-fitting t shirt or a simple column jersey or fitted dress. I'm v short though, so you may able to get away with more complex wafting!

Following with interest as I too would like to waft. The closest I get is leggings and a long, light, sheer wafty blouse over a vest. I love it so much I've bought said blouse in three colours but I feel it's time to expand my waftrobe.

Oh, good TIP, cathyandclare... I hadn't thought about that with the streamlining colours thing. I think the kimono would work better with a khaki-coloured top with these khaki trousers. I think probably it would also work better over a more narrow pair of trousers, maybe these ones are too bulky.

Trouble probably really is, though, less about the size-of-a-house thing and more about the general floaty effect which, much to my distress, just doesn't seem to work for me at all.

Maybe it's context, a bit? Maybe I could pull off more floaty/waftiness by wearing eg the kimono out in the evening on a really hot summer's day, not just out and about in the daytime on a pleasant spring morning. If that makes sense?!

I've now given up on the kimono and put on a narrow black t-shirt with the khakis and I feel GREAT.

Sad, but great.

I put 'Kimono outfits' into Pinterest and there are loads of lovely looking wafty girls with beach waves and denim shorts and kaftans

This was the sort of thing I meant, v simple underneath and let the kaftan do the talking/wafting.

The problem is the kimono. Unless you are a tiny tiny person (narrow shoulders, hips, tiny tiny tinyness). I don't understand the hype tbh. Like dressing gowns, they just add bulk.

If you want to experiment, go to cos or john lewis Kin, arket .... etc etc ... the scandi stores do interesting minimalism

Can you waft in dresses and maxi skirts? Ie do you need a kimono which has no waist and is an extra layer over clothes?

Sigh, elllllle, you're probably right. I'm not a tiny person. I'm a very large person. I thought being slim made kimono idea a walk in the park but I'm a BIG slim person, far from a tiny one.

Still, even this tragic realisation (I don't know what to DO with this kimono now. It's gorgeous. And unworn. Should I just hang it on my wardrobe door and gaze at it?) doesn't get around the issue of the rest of my summer dressing conundrum eg the lovely flowery chinos that looked ridiculous on me, My inability to wear floaty summer dresses, with thin straps in particular, without looking like a barrel/prop forward. My inability to wear a nice chiffony skirt at anything other than maxi length (which I HATE, just hate maxi and always have) because my calves and ankles are like twigs (beneath a very very large upper body, so I look out of proportion).

Even my uniform of tunic shirt dresses isn't a problem-solver, as such, because I look much better in a shorter skirt length (my thighs are so so so much better than my awful calves) which means faffing with fake tan (cos of the grey skin colour) WAY more than I can be bothered to.

I'm giving the impression I'm lazy as well as non-wafty, aren't I?

I might just do the opposite of hibernate until September. That'd do the trick.

timeisnotaline, I can certainly DO dresses, just (boring, after you've worn them all summer long) just one plain style of tunic/sack shirt dress.

I want floaty flowery ones that make me look ridiculous!

I have an absolute horror of maxi length, too, I know it SHOULD work ok on me as I'm tall and thin but I've never ever found a maxi dress that doesn't make me feel absolutely ridiculous. When you're tall it can just end up being SO MUCH MATERIAL.

If it makes you feel better, OP, I’m a tiny person. I’m 5’1 and size 8. I look like a garden gnome who just got out of a sauna if I try wearing a kimono. I love them, but they look more “bathroom” than wafty chic. I don’t have shoulders, so the bloody things keep slipping off, too.

Could you try wafting with your kimono over a pair of shorts and vest top? Less going on everywhere and I found it does work (I wafted on holiday in a Hush kimono over shorts and even though am 5’9” and 16/curvy it felt chic-. Which kimono do you have?

I get what you are saying, I too cannot waft.
Think of me as Ram-Man in a dress
Not a good look!
Now I'm 40 I give fewer fucks than I did in my 20's and 30's so wear what I like

But if you’re a 10 then a maxi dress is exactly the same length of a material as the 10 I’m wearing , BUT it’s not draping below your feet, there would be SO MUCH MORE LEG?
Ok so sloghtly less material than mine after I have it taken up so I can walk.

Hi, I am not particularly good with styling or fashion but you sound exactly like an old flatmate of mine in colouring and build so I thought I would chip in. We shared a flat for years and in summer she used to wear Ghost bias cut slip dresses and birkenstocks. I know you say you don't like maxi dresses and tiny straps but she also used to wear lots of racerback dresses or tops and halter neck dresses and tops. I am shorter and very busty and used to madly envy her ability to wear these. She never fake tanned, her freckles just became from prominent.

Maybe you need to practise wearing a new style for a while at home or in your garden until you feel less odd and self conscious in it?

I think Phwooooar's shout of shorts and vest top with the kimono is excellent.

I feel your pain. My body flaps and wafts all by itself so the last thing I need is a dress accentuating it.

I think one problem with high street kimonos is that so many of them are hip or chunkiest-part-of-your-thigh length, and then you factor in all the flapping and wafting and, before you know it, you’ve doubled the size of your girth. Would a longer one (if such a thing exists) look more streamlined?

Alternatively just wear it and waft. Any new look feels strange at first. Life is short and summer is even shorter.

We do of course need a picture of beautiful Kimono... preferably on but appreciate that may be a step too far.

What are you doing with your shoes and hair, as that will massively affect the look.

Have scoured kimono thread, seen kimono link, no photo of you. You did choose one of the waftiest kimonos, didn't you? ;)

I'm thinking that one might be an odd shape for you. I think you need to own your height and your build. You need to stride more than waft maybe. Full cloth billowing about you as you enter a room and OWN that room, smack bam standing in the centre!

www.4amjournal.com/new-blog/2017/6/27/jumpsuit-x-kimono (she doesn't look tall at all but nice threads)

As a shortish, hourglassy, dark haired person I can’t understand how wafting doesn’t work for you as I’ve spent today trying on wafty summer clothes, looking dreadful in them and being convinced that they would work on me if only I was tall and athletic looking with no boobs.

OK, this might sound a bit crazy but hear me out
Have you tried weighting the hem of your kimono slightly?
I'm a similar height and build to you OP, except with big boobs, and the only way I can get kimonos to work for me is to sew a few weighting beads spaced out around the hem.

For me doing that takes it from gone out in my nightwear, rugby player boxy to wafty elegance. For some reason adding a tiny bit of weight to the hem transforms it.

Think you need to think of role models of similar build. When I read your OP I imagined the off duty supermodel eg Elle Macpherson / Claudia schiffer school run look all long-legs in jeans and a cool shirt casually tucked in....

I'm very square shouldered, small boobed. With a straight up and down body.

I wear a kimono with dungarees and a vest top. The straps sort of break up my shoulders and make them look less prop like. Then I can concentrate on wafting.
I usually wear 7/8 length with wedge sandals, heels or converse.
Pain in the arse going to the loo though.
Also we don't get many really hot days here so it could be a bit warm for proper summer wafting. I think I'll try out the shorts and vest outfit

Also maybe a hook and eye or two to close it up in front would make it more slouchy than wafty and free it from the bedroom door