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Original poster

If all my friends have botox and I don't....

96 replies

DonPablo · 13/05/2019 21:57

Will I look old an haggard stood next to them? And can anyone recommend me a product to help with lines?

I'm 40. I take reasonable care of my skin. I have some lines, crows feet, normal ageing but nothing severe. My last, non botoxed friend caved last week and had it.

I feel old and ordinary but I'd never have fillers, botox or the likes. I don't even dye my hair! I love makeup and like to look good, but I guess I'm being left behind and I'm worried it'll show. Am I Being Ridiculous?

OP posts:
LennyBelardo · 14/05/2019 17:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BogglesGoggles · 14/05/2019 17:14

If you already have static wrinkles you need to have a close look at your lifestyle and your skin regime. Botox won’t help that anyway. Whatbotoc will do is prevent animated wrinkles setting into static ones but you can also look at skin tightening and firms stuff to avoid that.

SapphireBattersea · 14/05/2019 17:38

I am 39 and have had it 3 times in the last 2 years

Just makes me look a bit fresher, I go to a dentist as they have a good knowledge of facial anatomy, he only gives me a small amount

I have also had HIFU, supposed to tighten up the skin but I cant say it had any major effect :D

but this thread is very interesting and makes me question why I do it, especially as I consider myself a feminist

L1nkedOut · 14/05/2019 17:40

Wow, a dentist?
Cant imagine my dentist in ireland doing that! Could be wrong. Id be scared to ask!

Gekeos · 14/05/2019 17:47

I'm 37 and almost all my friends have Botox or some kind of fillers etc, I worry like you that I'm going to start looking old next to them but at the min I'm lucky I don't have any lines etc. I always have my nails and hair done and wear make up everyday. But i do wonder if I will cave at some point.

L1nkedOut · 14/05/2019 17:47

I know anita roddick is a bad example because she actually died, but i always thought of her as very feminine but dynamic and unafraid to rock her own look.
I hope i have the confidence to just do me but healthily. Healthily happily serenely...
She wasnt beautiful beautiful like rene russo or julianne moore (two women who are 60 ish and beautiful) but anita roddick struck me as an example of somebody happy to age. So it is sad she didnt get to

RomanyQueen1 · 14/05/2019 17:56

If all my friends have botox and I don't.

They'll look like plastic and you'll look natural.
they'll look fake and give the impression they are shallow. You'll look as deep as the ocean Grin that's how I judge anyay.

RosaWaiting · 14/05/2019 17:57

I've been offered botox by the dentist because of bruxism, I don't even want it for a medical reason.

Poster saying it makes you look "fresher" - I have a couple of colleagues who say that. I find it quite a big step just to look fresher.

someone also mentioned the "grey" treadmill, I want to avoid that too.

it's depressing when you go to superdrug or something for a bit of hand cream and you are surrounded with an arsenal of stuff designed to change appearance. Yes some people enjoy make up, etc.

but I am increasingly alarmed by what is becoming a social norm for women.

sleepwhenidie · 14/05/2019 18:02

I think what Maybeitsmaybelline says is right. Botox and fillers can work beautifully when you are still relatively young (say 40's) although done badly I think it actually ages you - see Emma Bunton recently - but you start needing more and more and there's a tipping point where you start to look weird and I'd imagine its a tricky place to be - stop it and have you face suddenly go back to its natural state (presumably ageing you rapidly compared to how you looked with assistance?) or keep going with as. much as necessary? Confused

SapphireBattersea · 14/05/2019 18:19

Wow, a dentist?
Cant imagine my dentist in ireland doing that! Could be wrong. Id be scared to ask!

Haha mine came from lots and lots of recommendations, he runs a private practice, he is not my usual NHS dentist haha x

DorothyZbornak · 14/05/2019 18:21

DH's (male) friend has most definitely had botox, despite not admitting to it. He's mid 40s and he still looks his age, he just looks horrifically SHINY all the time!
His GF has obviously had it too because she constantly looks surprised.

Bool · 14/05/2019 18:59

But when you have Botox and it wears off your face doesn’t ‘drop back’ to where it was again. If you have a deep frown line done it can soften it forever. I think it is important not to confuse Botox and fillers. I also think you can be a feminist and have Botox/wear makeup/dye your hair etc! That sounds like an extension of burning bras in the 1970s!!!

LennyBelardo · 14/05/2019 19:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floisme · 14/05/2019 19:10

I find it quite a big step just to look fresher.
Me too. In my day you just went to bed early.

I also think you can be a feminist and have Botox/wear makeup/dye your hair etc!
Me too. I may not use Botox but I'm still vain as they come. My personal definition of a feminist is a woman who cares about women's rights, no more no less. But we can still be aware that decisions which we are all free to make don't happen in a vaccuum and can impact on other women further down the line.

RosaWaiting · 14/05/2019 19:15

Oh, is that why I see so many shiny faced men?

that explains a lot....

I am not sure as I'm no expert, but in terms of looking "fresher" - make up? I had a boss tell me I ought to wear under eye concealer once. I still can't imagine the same comment being made to a man.

QueenKubauOfKish · 14/05/2019 19:28

Agree about the poison comments too. Even if I did want to have it, I'd hesitate to be injected with botulism toxin - and I've always thought it really weird that it is actually called "Botox". You'd expect them to have thought up a more positive-sounding name for it, yet it didn't put people off. It's almost like something out of a feminist apocalyptic satire, women all being injected with stuff to smoothen their face, and not even really bothering that it's called BOTOX :o

nlpreston · 14/05/2019 19:33

I've had botox MANY times over the past years (I'm 52). I might have it twice a year and then give it a break for a year. Do I look younger with slightly less furrowed brow? Maybe, a bit. Mostly I look less tired and cross. This I love!! But, like a glass of wine, I do like to test myself and make sure I can do without for a period. In the mean time I ADORE the NuFace trinity (you can buy it on CurrentBody). It uses micro current to support the generation of collagen and elastin.

I personally have no issue having botox (or other regulated treatments with a regulated practitioner). I'm 52 and look about 46. Do I want to look 40? No (it isn't possible anyway!!) Am I pleased to look 46? I'll say so.

BTW, if you're considering having ANYTHING done, do make sure you're safe. Botox is regulated in the UK but fillers are not. Take NO RISKS. I find Alice Hart-Davis' advise is spot on

Have a look at her website www.tweakmentsguide.com to find a good practitioner.

nlpreston · 14/05/2019 19:39

oops.. link is thetweakmentsguide.com

WhoAteMyNuts · 14/05/2019 19:45

The only people I know who had Botox are those where appearances matter the upmost about looking younger.

I am more than happy to look my age and really don't care that I have grey hair and wrinkles.

RosaWaiting · 14/05/2019 19:55

my late father was quite stunned by the poison thing too, he had a science background and felt the potential for it to go wrong was very high. I'm not a scientist so can't pretend to know but I have seen a few stories on here about it going wrong.

RosaWaiting · 14/05/2019 19:57

PS I didn't know it was poison till dad told me, I didn't think about it much, but this was a few years ago and it's become really common now. So perhaps I too will be ageing normally while friends look 10 years younger, I don't know.

OldKingCole · 14/05/2019 23:33

Wow, a dentist?
Cant imagine my dentist in ireland doing that! Could be wrong. Id be scared to ask!

Really? I love in Cork and loads of the dentists here do it!

OldKingCole · 14/05/2019 23:33

*live !!

YesQueen · 15/05/2019 07:43

I had Botox at 31 for a pain related static wrinkle, it's softened it a lot. I'm careful with who I chose as I have a blood condition so mine is done by an a&e doctor and approved by my haematology consultant
I just couldn't stand looking in the mirror and seeing pain on my face every day even though the pain had gone (5 months of spinal pain)

WhereAreWeNow · 15/05/2019 09:15

I know it's easier said than done OP but try not to compare yourself to your friends. Sounds like you look great. You're happy with how you look. No one else is comparing you to your botoxed friends.