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Original poster

Plus size outfit for DSD's graduation

26 replies

wheresthewine36 · 26/04/2019 22:17

Since breaking my back 4 years ago and suffering with depression I have gained a lot of weight. Subsequently, I have entirely given up on my appearance - my hair has not been cut in 4 years, my nails are chewed and awful, I am a size 22-24 and I wear leggings, t-shirt and cardigan every single day. I never attend social gatherings and rarely leave the house. My beautiful, amazing DSD is graduating in July and she would love me to attend the ceremony but has told me that although she desperately wants me to be there, she understands if I can't be. Her kindness and understanding has made me utterly determined to be there and to look as good as I possibly can. Please, please, wonderful ladies of MN, help me to find an outfit! I haven't set foot in a clothes shop in the last 4 years and would much prefer to order outfits and try them on at home so an online retailer would be fantastic.
I carry my weight around my middle and lower half. Very large tummy, big bum, big thighs, awful legs. Not at all comfortable with skirts and dresses so must be trousers. I'm not confident enough for bright colour all over but equally don't want to be head to toe in black. I know it's a huge ask but if anyone can help I would be so grateful.

I am going to arrange for a mobile hairdresser to come and chop my awful hair for me and maybe colour it and I am doing my best to start taking care of my nails, skin and diet. I just want to show her how much she means to me and how proud I am of her. She is a truly exceptional young woman and I so want her to have a fantastic day.

OP posts:
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QueenofLouisiana · 27/04/2019 08:02

Have a look at Melia www.melalondon.com/clothing/?_bc_fsnf=1&Size=24
I briefly filtered for your size and they have done pretty suggestions- jumpsuits, tips and dresses.
I’d honestly suggest that you don’t immediately discount dresses as the right cut and length would be more flattering than you think. Look at things with an interesting neckline, or think of ways to draw attention here/ if your hair has been done, it will be looking great, so show it off!
I hope you have a fabulous day!

Dirtyjellycat · 27/04/2019 08:09

Sorry things have been so tough for you OP.

How tall are you and what’s your budget?

If you don’t want to spend too much, Next has large sizes and also does plus size brands such as Quiz Curve and Ax Paris.

I have been to many graduation ceremonies and people wear a whole range of outfits. When I graduated many years ago people were much more formal and women all wore suits and sometimes hats (seriously, though maybe that was just my uni!). Nowadays, trousers and top is fine so whatever you wear will be fine in terms of formality.

I think one of the biggest things to making yourself feel good is having a nice blowdry, nails done, bit of make-up etc. Could you afford to have somebody come to your house and do your hair and make up in advance? There are lots of people who offer this. It would make you feel wonderful I think and you clearly need the boost. Good hair and makeup make the world of difference to the overall impression.

Dirtyjellycat · 27/04/2019 08:14

And OP, you sound lovely!

Original poster
wheresthewine36 · 27/04/2019 13:43

Thank you both. I used to love clothes shopping when I was slim but really feel like I don't know where to start with the shape and size I am now! My legs and stomach are my worst areas so definitely wouldn't feel comfortable in a skirt or dress. I love some of the jumpsuits on the Mela site but think they would show my stomach too much.
Thank you dirtyjelly. I don't feel very lovely at the moment, in fact I feel that I have wallowed in self-pity, to the detriment of my family and myself. Really trying to pull myself up by the bootstraps.

I'm 5' 7", my budget for whole oitfit (including shoes/bag/jewellery) is around £200.

I used to be pretty good at make up so think I will do it myself, will have a few practice runs first though. And will have to actually buy some, too! I will have a trawl through YouTube to brush up my skills. Hair-wise, I am thinking maybe a long bob. My hair is currently one length, to the top of my bum, and is very thick and wavy so will need layers I think. Argh, the choices are beginning to overwhelm me, I am so indecisive it's ridiculous!

OP posts:
Original poster
wheresthewine36 · 27/04/2019 13:48

Maybe something like this?

Plus size outfit for DSD's graduation
OP posts:
SpeckledyHen · 27/04/2019 15:51

www.johnlewis.com/junarose-curve-nahal-abstract-print-tunic-top-white/p4119277

Something along theses lines possibly ? With a little clutch .

CloudRusting · 27/04/2019 16:00

ASOS is worth scrolling through to see if anything catches your eye they have a good range in this size.

Also dresses can be quite a good way of not showing off stomach and legs if the right cut so I really wouldn’t discount them.

CloudRusting · 27/04/2019 16:02

Also yes a nice but easy to manage cut and colour could really help you feel better. Do check with whoever you plan to use whether you need to do an allergy test in advance of appointment.

AcerTree · 27/04/2019 17:35

What colours suit you?
How about a top shaped like this one,
Bardot
with a pair of tapered 3/4 length trousers, pretty sandals (showing off lovely painted toenails!) and handbag.
Something like this wouldn't be too far out of your comfort zone so as to make you feel uncomfortable. SimplyBe do some very comfortable smart trousers,

AcerTree · 27/04/2019 17:38

Or maybe a top shaped like this one:
Kimono sleeve

AcerTree · 27/04/2019 17:39

I love the picture of the haircut!

MoniqueTonique · 27/04/2019 18:04

Speaking as someone with very chunky legs, I always spend ages searching for decent tunic tops to cover at least the majority of my upper thighs! JDWilliams have some nice ones, like this for example
www.jdwilliams.co.uk/shop/jersey-tunic-with-chiffon-trim/ip375/product/details/show.action?pdBoUid=9059#colour:,size:

Original poster
wheresthewine36 · 27/04/2019 18:13

Thanks for the suggestions. The John Lewis tops aren't really me...Not that I know what "me" is at the moment!
I've booked a hairdresser to come out to me next week, she's going to give me a re-style and do an allergy test for colour then will come back the week before the ceremony to do my colour. Just have to decide on a cut now!

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Original poster
wheresthewine36 · 27/04/2019 18:19

Acertree, I'm not even sure what colours suit me, I live in black! I like the bardot too but I have scarring on my shoulder which I'm self-conscious about. Love the tapered trouser idea, will definitely look for a pair, thanks.

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Dirtyjellycat · 27/04/2019 18:55

Can you give us an idea of what your style is? Do you like, for example, plain or pattern tops? How old are you? Is there anyone famous whose style you like (even if they are a different style)?

The hair looks lovely!

Dirtyjellycat · 27/04/2019 19:01

www.next.co.uk/shop/-/brand-quiz-sizetype-curve-srt-48#3_53

Is there anything at all on this page that you like? Any of the colour or styles? Or anything on the Mela site posted earlier? It’s easier if we get an idea of what you like, eg floral, tunic etc.

Stiffasaboard · 27/04/2019 19:12

OP you sound truly lovely

And life has dealt you a rough blow and I can completely see how you have gained weight
But please don’t let that define you and rob you of your life and enjoying it.

Hiding away both by staying in the house and covering your body is hurting yourself and punishing yourself for something that isn’t your fault.

The people who love you won’t care about your size
Your desire to break out of your comfort zone just for your DSD shows how much love you have in you- pls direct some at yourself

Buy something beautiful- let your heart and soul shine out and hopefully this event will be the launch pad for you living life again.

Xxxx

Original poster
wheresthewine36 · 27/04/2019 20:05

My style at the moment is non-existent but I suppose what I'm aiming for is to look polished, stylish and, dare I say it, chic. I'm not a fan of loud patterns or very bright colours, I just don't feel comfortable drawing attention to myself.

I quite like the waterfall jacket on the Next link. There are some nice items there but I don't think most of them would suit my shape :-/
I think I'm leaning towards a top, blazer and trousers. I haven't worn heels for years (used to think nothing of wearing 6" heels daily!) but think I could probably manage a low-ish wedge. I really do appreciate your kindness, ladies and I'm sorry to be so difficult.

OP posts:
Original poster
wheresthewine36 · 27/04/2019 20:18

Any opinions on these? I'm thinking maybe with a loose cami top...

Plus size outfit for DSD's graduation
Plus size outfit for DSD's graduation
Plus size outfit for DSD's graduation
OP posts:
Original poster
wheresthewine36 · 27/04/2019 20:18

Or these trousers...

Plus size outfit for DSD's graduation
OP posts:
Original poster
wheresthewine36 · 27/04/2019 20:19

The last pair of trousers look white but the website says they're silver grey.

OP posts:
Original poster
wheresthewine36 · 27/04/2019 20:21

I think I like the waterfall jacket and the last pair of trousers together.

OP posts:
Lifeaback · 27/04/2019 20:24

Sorry you have been through such a shit time OP, as PP have said you sound absolutely lovely and you’re so right for not letting your insecurities ruin a special day.

I love the grey trousers and jacket you’ve posted, they’d look fab with a loose cami. Maybe a nice statement necklace as well?

A colour and cut before the day will definitely help you feel a bit better, I always feel like a new, put together woman when leaving the salon (rather than the disorganised early 40’s mess I am!)

Daddylonglegs1965 · 27/04/2019 20:26

Well done OP. If you can afford it I would get my hair cut and coloured now it will boost your confidence a little. I was your size last year and lost over 2 stone. I was and am still big but I got a massive confidence boost when I lost a stone I had so much more energy and looked and I looked and felt so much better better in any clothes. Would you fancy a nice navy top and trousers with some statement and or colourful jewellery.
Lots of manufacturers do plus size clothing Phase 8 has a plus size range, Curvissa, Yours, ASOS, Marisota etc.