I haven’t been to the hairdressers in years but would love to

[GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat]

I’m so so anxious but I really want to get a cut and colour. I take my dd a few times a year, should I go there? What do I say? I’ve no clue what I want and hugely embarrassed about the poor condition of my hair.

I'd book an appointment and ask for a cut and tidy up. Whilst this is being done ask for suggestions for the next appointment cut and colour. Then you can go away and think!

My hairdresser says it's actually very common for people to have fear/anxiety about getting their hair done. They'll have seen it all before.

Just pop in to book and say it's been absolutely ages since you had it done and you'd like a cut and colour and a bit of advice on what to have. Just remember that they might try to upsell and suggest expensive stuff like highlights and treatments, so mention that you're on a budget if you need to.

Part of it, is that I’m fat and going grey, I’m worried they’ll just think why are you bothering? You can’t polish a turd.

I was like this a couple of years ago, I'd spent years doing the MN haircut and box dyeing. I asked around for recommendations amongst people whose hair I liked then booked an appointment. I explained my nervousness and that I hated everything from looking in the mirror whilst my colour was on to having my head massaged. I also explained that because of this I'd not had a proper cut for 10 years.

The hairdresser was very patient and kind and I didn't feel judged. Since then I've gone regularly and she's become a good friend.

So I'd say be honest explain how you are feeling and give it a go. I'm sure it's not the worst hair she's seen!

Absolutely go.
As pp suggested, start with a cut & blow dry and you can use that as an opportunity to ask for their advice regarding colour.
Go to a good quality salon. They will most likely ask to do a colour test too before colouring your hair to make sure your not allergic / hair won't break. Though that may only be if bleach is used.
I bet having your hair sorted out and freshened up will make you feel and look better.

Are you me??? But I went earlier in the week and it was ok, though I just had a good trim, couple of inches in the end

My dream is to find a lovely mobile hairdresser that will make me look like jlo whilst chatting over cups of tea and playing with the baby
Failing that I vote don't go. Those mirrors are hideous and all the salons seem so trendy. Get a good quality box dye and some lovely conditioner and do the Mumsnet haircut.

I’ve been doing that bitch but especially now I’m getting older, it just doesn’t cut it anymore!

Unless you need colour don't do it, it trashed your hair and draws you in for upkeep appts which further trash your hair. My hair was at its best when I had a twice a year good trim. No colouring. I've since messed about and got it colored and nows it's ruined and I have to keep getting it trimmed and investing in expensive conditioners. My advice is get a trim but never do what I did and get bored and commit to long term treatments and upkeep x

I do need colour. I’m going very grey.

If you like how your daughter's hairdresser does things, it seems a good place to start, but I'm in a similar boat. I've been considering and feeling anxious about it as I've just been trimming the ends off for years now. My daughters go a couple times a year and they're lovely, but my girls always go in with photos knowing exactly what they want and I've just got no idea even whether I want to keep it long or go as short my daughters who have a pixie cut/short back and sides or something in-between. I feel pretty much too awkward for it or that I would regret anything, ugh. Hopefully you have better luck than I'm having on it!

I basically only go once a year. I agree with previous people that if you just ask for a trim to get rid of any split ends that would be a great start.

georgie, I think a couple of the best rules I go by when looking for a new salon is -
1, what do the stylists look like? do you like their style/colour? do they look over processed? do they look like something you would like to look like?
2, what is the customer base? is the salon full of young hip and happening girlies, middle aged menopausal and look it 60 somethings? nice old ladies getting a shampoo and set?

I like to find a middle ground with stylists who have good hair, a customer base I can relate to and a price list i can understand!