New mum - what can I do to feel less grotty

[Crochetcrochetcrochet]

Hello,

I had DS2 nearly 5 months ago, and I just feel really grotty. I've got PN anxiety - which I'm guessing might be part and parcel of it.

I feel ghastly, fat, greasy haired and spotty. I look exhausted, probably because I am.

I've been trying to get my 10,000 steps in, to drink lots of water as those are things I can do. But is there anything I can do style/ beauty wise that might be a quick fix, perk me up until my mood lifts?

Any and all recommendations gratefully received.

I'm not much of a style guru but I found early on that making a choice to shower twice a day made me feel much better about myself and life in general.
Of course, I live in the tropics so we get sticky and hot and sweaty so 2 showers is necessary, especially when breastfeeding and leaky and covered in spit up.
If you're somewhere colder then try to shower at least once a day.
If baby is screaming put them in the bathroom with you.

And get yourself a nice, easy, low maintenance haircut. I have a bob style that works really well for my hair type (thin and straight), but find one that works for your hair style.

I like to actually get some moisturiser on my face and hand cream, not always achieved but sometimes and it makes me feel a lot better.
I found a baby friendly salon place, which did a mini facial and nails so that’s been so lovely to splurge on once so far. Make me feel a bit more me, especially since I’m gaining weight not loosing it!

Buying a flattering top has also made me feel better when I wear it out instead of slightly tight older clothes.

OK:

1. A good tinted moisturiser makes a huge difference. Depending on budget either get yet to Superdrug, boots or space nk for some advice

1. Dry shampoo - Batiste has never let me down (I like the tropical one personally)

Gives hair a boost when you can’t be arsed

1. Mascara - if nothing else add some mascara. If you can under eye concealer and lipsalve too

1. Scarves - a nice scarf can cover a multitude of sins - spillages by you or baby. Doesn’t need to be expensive and looks like you’ve made an effort when you actually haven’t 😂

1. Fruit - get yourself some nice berries, exotic fruit (mango/pineapple) or whatever you fancy/usually like. The freshness of fruit alwaya peeks me up.

1. But one nice item of clothing that fits now. The trap I always fall into is I don’t buy an item that makes me feel nice as I’m losing weight/going to lose weight/ wrong season/ think I’m being extravagant BUT buying something that makes you feel good is important

1. I’d add earrings/necklace/bangle but this is more complicated with a teeny tiny so that’s very much your choice.

If you can stretch to a pedicure it can be relaxing and like nice underwear make you feel good on the inside even if no one sees it. Also likely to last longer than a manicure and permanently washing your hands! (Id also add shaving your legs for YOU if you usually did pre baby and aren’t currently)

These are things that made me feel better! But they might not rock your boat.

Also I did a craft course - making sugar flowers - locally. It was full of the kindest older ladies who cooed over my little one throughout the very relaxed lesson. It was lovely to get their wisdom and to be in a non baby competitive environment. It was also a skill I wanted to learn, I had the funds for it and could take baby with so worked for me but you might find something similar 😊

Yes I'd say definitely get some clothes that fit nicely now and make you feel good. Don't have to spend loads, I remember getting bits from Primark and Matalan the first few months post partum but it did make me feel loads better.

Dry shampoo and moisturiser/mascara will get you through the days of exhaustion.

My nails have become really weak since having DD and I find they snap off when I'm wrestling pram/car seat/car boots. I keep them fairly short but file them so they're neat and apply a nice nail varnish so that they look smart. For some reason they make me feel so much better.

Now DD doesn't breastfeed every hour/1.5hours I don't find it necessary to wear the horrible nursing bras. They make me feel gross and really clammy. I can usually wear a normal bra with washable breast pads in. I also stopped wearing easy tops to breastfeed in. Now I just pull whatever I'm wearing up (unless I am going somewhere I want to be discreet) and I'm usually wearing a coat/jacket so people still don't get a face full of belly.

Could a friend or the dad to look after the kids so you can get a quick hair cut? See if they can advise a hairstyle where you can just wash and go (although this doesn't work for my hair).

When I was 5 months PP and feeling shit I went to m&s and bought some nice underwired bras and matching Knicks and then chucked out all of my hideous maternity underwear (wasn't breastfeeding at that point though). Felt so much better for it. Also bought a pair of proper jeans that fit well rather than supermarket jeggings and that made a world of difference.

If you can also spare 5 mins at the start and end of the day for skincare it also really helps. I'm usually bad at this but have been making more of an effort and it shows.

You have my sympathies though. I've had 3 dc and 5 months is usually peak feeling-crap- about- myself time.

Oh OP, I feel for you! Also have 5mo DC2, also feel (and look) like a wrung out dishrag. Here is what I am finding helpful...

As PP suggested, short nails painted (by myself) in a jolly colour. Seche Vite topcoat, it really does dry the nails v fast (necessary).

Sanctuary wet skin moisture miracle. Not much use if you don't have time to shower obvs, but this has really sorted out my dry skin and takes about ten seconds at the end of a shower in the morning. Feels like I'm doing something nice for myself for those ten seconds, rather than looking after every other bloody person in the house!

Burt's Bees lip crayons, I like the glossy ones, easy to wear without a full 'face' of make up if you know what I mean, but make me feel like my face is more alive. The more natural colours are better for a light touch look, but the dark/bright ones are pretty cool.

Nice shoes. I splurged. I got some trainers from a Christopher Kane sample sale, they are bright pink, orange and cobalt blue. This is not something I would EVER have spent money on pre baby but they are so cool, they lift my jeans/baggy top/raincoat look and are also super comfy. I feel like if I'm walking everywhere I deserve to do it in awesome shoes. Whatever your bag is - trainers, boots, sandals, brogues - buy some really beautiful and unusual ones. I don't recognise most of my body at the moment but my feet are my feet and shoes look nice whatever is going on with the rest of me, size-wise!

@PRoseLegend Showering definitely helps. I've started getting up half an hour earlier as I wasn't getting one every day whilst juggling both boys and the school run. @Elizabeth2019 hand cream is a great idea, my hands feel dreadful from all the washing. I'm holding off getting my feet done for sandals weather, bit a facial would be wonderful! @Poohbearshole that's a brilliant list. It doesn't feel overwhelming as it's all little things I can do. Thank you! @HampshireMum1 I think that's what I'm going to do - get a couple of pairs of Asda wonderfit jeans, that fit now, and some nursing tops so I just feel less like I'm trying to squeeze myself into things that just don't fit. @SlimGin a haircut would be brilliant, it's coming out in handfuls and I wonder if a trim might help. @Themildmanneredmillitant I think a proper approach to some skincare would definitely help. I've not had oily spotty skin for years. So some targeted skincare may just help.

Buy some nice pjs or lounge wear for when you're at home and yes clothes that fit now even if they are from the supermarket.
With spring starting a pedicure would be worthwhile and remember sun cream when you are out for walks etc.

Could you make some time to go for a swim or do some exerxise if you aren’t already? I found that always made me feel much better, no matter how tired I was and gave me a bit more of a glow!

Getting my face threaded, eyebrows etc always works for me

Nursing tops - I’ve spent some decent money on 3 now from Seraphine and Mothercare. But there’s some others from Happy Mama (dresses) and if you just buy nice tops you can pull up, then I use the standard vest tops to pull down. But I do use my nursing ones when I’m particularly stressing about a social occasion 😂

Some days I only get a bit of self care, I insist on a shower and trying to brush my hair (I sometimes forget).

I'm 7 months pp, but only with 1 DC and not breastfeeding so you have a lot more on your plate than me

Definitely get a hair cut, it makes the hair loss feel a bit more manageable and having nice fresh ends makes it all easier to deal with. And get some nice hair clips and bands, partly for when you need to start wearing hair up all the time so baby doesn't pull it, and also it looks like you've made more of an effort.

In terms of hand cream, I put small tubes everywhere so that it becomes a habit (by the kitchen sink, bedside table, on my desk).

Accessories help me feel more put together, how about treating yourself to a nice cross body bag for your things, to go alongside a baby bag? (if you don't already do that) And nice earrings too.

I'm sure you're not ghastly at all :) and I hope your anxiety gets better soon x

Poohbearshole said it well -

• tinted moisturiser

• dry shampoo (I'm not a fan of batiste but there are lots of cheap alternatives) I rarely washed my hair at that point

• eyebrow pencil - especially if you are fair

• blusher - takes literally 2 seconds to apply

and a couple of new comfortable items of clothing that you feel better in (boden and la redoute both have decent sales on at the moment and it's easy to return by post)