Going to a funeral, help?

[Chirpygirl]

DH's grandma's funeral is next week, I assume it is a big thing as they are holding a wake afterwards at her favourite restaurant but I have (thank god) never been to a funeral before so I have no idea what is and isn't appropriate.(DH will be in his best suit)
It's a bit shallow of me to think about what to wear so I don't want to ask DH's family.

I am 6 months pregnant and have no money so am stuck with 3 options
Black work trousers with a black chiffony top with small red and green flowers.
Black trousers with a black chiffony kimono style top with a black vets top underneath or
Black ankle length jersey wrap dress that makes me look hugely pregnant.

Instinct tells me to go for the dress as it is most comfy as well, but it is quite dressy, is it better to be overdressed than under?
Obviously wil wear no jewellery apart from DH's rings and small earrings he bought me.

Sound good?

Depends on the people going - if they are going to be very sombre as opposed to 'celebrate the life' kind of attitude then understated will be important. Kimono sounds nice, as does dress.

It might be hot

it is better to be overdressed. i usually go quite dressy to funerals. all outfits sound fine, choose whichever one you feel most comfortable in

i was 40wks pg at my MIL's funeral - it was awful - folks were sobbing at the line up and then howled even more when they got to me - one look at my huge bump and "oh she wont get to see her grandchild"

i was in early labour at the funeral and it was very emotional

you have my sympathies

I've never worn black for a funeral myself purely cause my best suit has never been black.

The wrap dress does sound quite formal but if it's comfy is a good option, though I think any of the outfits you describe would be fine (might put a white vest under the kimono though).
You can get away with a lot whilst pregnant when it comes to dress codes so don't get too hung up on it.

I'd say the trousers, kimono, vest top combo.

Have been to many funerals unfortunately

i jsut want to stress again that you should choose something that is comfortable (and that includes shoes). it can be a long day.

The main problem I have is a lot of the family will be pissed at me because they weren't invited to my wedding (we only had 20 people, and boy, did that cause havoc).
Dh's cousin got married a month after us and invited 250 people.

The funeral has been put back for a week so all the family from scotland can come down so I will be meeting them for the first time.

Dress is definately most comfy if there will be a lot of standing and then sitting as it has no waistband, but I don't know what to expect, she is being cremated so does that mean sitting? standing?

I thought I could not go as I have DD to look after but my SIL (DH's half sis, not related to grandma) is babysitting and we are picking her up for the wake, have NO clue what she is going to wear either, any ideas on that?!

Funeral - should wear black or dark colours
Memorial - Can wear colours but not too flighty.

Definatly formal attire.

or even definately

a cremation can mean 2 services - one at the church and one at the crematorium. so sitting and standing involved

as for dd - my 2 dds come afterwards to wakes quite a lot (we have had a lot fo funerals lately) - and i usually put them in bright, cheery dresses - by that time everyone is relaxed a bit and the dds cheer them up

The kimono wrap thing is a black see through top with a ribbon tie so I have to wear black under it.
I think black is a must TBH, Grandma was the matriarch so everyone is devestated.

Am so glad you don't think I am being totally shallow thinking about what to wear but I want to be resepctful to her and as I never got to see her because she was in hospital this is all I can do.

God, I don't want to go.

I think there is usually less standing with a cremation than a burial.

I would go with dress - agree with Nailpolish about overdressed being good for funerals.
DD can wear anything but probably good to look like you've made an effort.

My SIL was pg at my grandma's funeral and I think it was seen as a positive rather than a negative thing (opposite of Nailpolish's experience, perhaps because it was one generation further along) - new life to look forward to etc.

I am going to have to get DD a dress aren't I, she wear jeans/trousers and t shirts normally, mostly her (boy) cousins handmedowns.

(Notdoneyet, you there? can I borrow a dress!)

I wouldn't worry too much about the sitting/standing. Am sure a pregnant lady will not be frowned on for remaining seated.

You will be sitting at a crematorium service.
Sadly I have been to three funerals of close family and have not worn black to any of them (nor did anyone else for that matter)and they were def not cheerful affairs. I think perhaps it's a bit outdated now to wear all black.
If you want to wear the dress for comfort it might look less sombre with a cami underneath in eg plum/dark green or even a lovely cimple necklace.
Would not necessarily buy a dress for DD just for this, though you could get something on ebay or even post a wanted ad on here?
No jeans for her but a skirt and top would be fine IMO.
Agree that comfy shoes for you are a must.

for dd trousers and a nice top will be fine. you ahve enough to think aobut without shopping for somethng for dd to wear. itll be fine

Thanks guys, have borrowed some dresses from a friend and will probably have her wearing one of them as a smock top wiht some trousers she already has, I am going to wear the dress and take a brighter wrap top in case that will be permitted as we are staying with the IL's 200 miles away before the funeral.

for those who have helped and therefore having experience of funerals.