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Original poster

Wedding guest and out of my depth! Help me please...

19 replies

catus · 13/03/2019 07:23

Hello everyone,
I am going to a family wedding in june, organised mainly by my SIL, the mother of the groom. She warned me it was to be a very elegant affair, with women vearing a hat and gloves.
I have no idea what to wear, I feel completely clueless but don't want to feel out of place on the day.
In short, I really need help! So please help me, what shall I wear?
For context, I am 40yo, quite tall and slim with no boobs. Also the whole thing is in France as we're all french.

OP posts:

anniehm · 13/03/2019 07:33

Firstly you can wear what you like - she is being helpful though as it can be uncomfortable when we turn up very differently dressed (it's happened to me at a wedding).

I would suggest a dress with some structure rather than too flowing and a fascinator unless you are a hat person. Never seen anyone wear gloves unless winter at a wedding! But you can order them online no doubt. Personal shoppers are free at many department stores, I always book one at Debenhams.

Original poster

catus · 13/03/2019 07:54

Thank you, that's very helpful about the fascinator. I will try and see about personal shoppers in in the shopping centres near me. I 'm in Marseilles and not sure it is a thing to have free ones here.
I think the gloves are for church as they are an old style catholic family.
As for my SIL being helpful, I agree.
The groom is my godson and I love him dearly, I don't want him to be embarrassed by his godmother.

OP posts:

crosspelican · 13/03/2019 07:56

Take a look on Pinterest or Instagram at fancy weddings in France to get a feel for what women tend to wear. I don't think that Coast or the other UK stalwarts for this sort of thing would necessarily work.

My gut feeling would be knee length silk dress with heels. As for gloves - not sure if France is more formal than it used to be (certainly when we lived in Paris gloves would NOT have been a thing)? But you'll need some actual French posters to advise! There is a long running thread on French style here - hopefully someone from there can help.

Original poster

catus · 13/03/2019 07:56

Sorry for the typos, hard to preview correctly on the phone and with DCs.

OP posts:

jamaisjedors · 13/03/2019 07:57

At a lot of French weddings I have seen people wearing suits, they tend to wear less "floaty" dresses and less bright colours than in the UK.

I agree don't bother with gloves!

Original poster

catus · 13/03/2019 08:00

I have to get DC1 to climbing club now, I'll be back soon. Thanks everyone, I feel better already! 😀

OP posts:

mynameiscalypso · 13/03/2019 08:04

My DB and SIL went to a very fancy wedding in France last year; I think the pictures were in French Vogue so that might be a good place for inspiration:

www.vogue.fr/wedding/inspiration/diaporama/wedding-monica-ainley-marc-de-la-villardiere-la-frette-louise-trotter/52631

imsorryiasked · 13/03/2019 08:14

I'd definitely go for a straight dress and coat jacket.

Original poster

catus · 13/03/2019 09:56

I think that would be the safe option, definitely, and that is what my SIL tends to wear for family ceremonies like communions and baptisms. I just think it would feel like some kind of costume on me as it's not my usual style at all.

OP posts:

NWQM · 13/03/2019 10:00

Another recommendation here for the personal shoppers at Debenhams. Service is free and a lovely experience. They can sort out a make-up counter session too. Thus you can literally walk away with everything you need - including underwear which can be tricky! You sit enjoy coffee etc and have time to have a good think about what works. It’s lovely and they will have had experience of hundreds of wedding guests.

Original poster

catus · 13/03/2019 10:02

On the gloves front, I think it's because SIL's family are kind of provincial aristocracy, very old school catholic. Very different from parisian upper classes and something you don't find in the UK maybe?

OP posts:

Original poster

catus · 13/03/2019 10:06

Thanks for the link to Vogue, lovely pictures! Although I don't think the wedding will have that trendy feel, more traditional probably.

OP posts:

Original poster

catus · 13/03/2019 10:07

And I will definitely look into free personal shoppers, thank you to those that made the suggestion.

OP posts:

SwayingInTime · 13/03/2019 10:09

Dress like the Duchess of Cambridge?

Original poster

catus · 13/03/2019 10:15

The duchess of Cambridge is actually a good idea! 😀 Not too stuffy but still traditional... I'll check out her outfits! Thanks.

OP posts:

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 13/03/2019 11:00

imsorryiasked skim reading this thread, I thought you suggested OP wear a straitjacket...

Original poster

catus · 13/03/2019 11:48

IhaventI don't think that will be necessary!

OP posts:

wink1970 · 13/03/2019 14:23

Ooh, I highly recommend finding a shop that sells Ian Stuart wedding guest wear. All the pieces are structured, flattering, very 'Cote D'Azur' and quite the nicest thing you'll ever wear!

imsorryiasked · 13/03/2019 20:36

Straitjacket

I would say that almost any of these styles would be suitable. (Disclaimer: I've never used the site)
Are any of these "do-able" with your usual style?

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