What's the difference between being obsessed with looks/figure and simply taking care of yourself?

[Helpmepleasenow48]

My DS has just accused me of being obsessed with my looks and figure. Her comments came because I said I was going to put the whole family on a sugar free regime - mainly to help my DH lose weight..
However the comeback I got was that comment.
So the thing is, am I?
So I exercise most days (and I do need it for my head/sanity - I run/spin do yoga.
I do have skin care regime although it's one wash a day.
I also enjoy buying clothes but I haven't for a couple of months.
BUT I wash my hair twice a week, rarely wear make up and work from home wearing gym gear most days.
I watch what I eat but mainly because I have IBS and PCOS.
Am I OTT?
FYI DS has a serious weight problem but has her hair done every 6 weeks, highlighted and cut, she wears nice clothes and styles her hair every day. She goes to SW at the moment.

Sorry my sister not my son!

I think your sister is probably jealous of your healthiness and is lashing out.

Putting everyone on a sugar free diet is controlling. Everything in moderation is key. Does your husband want to cut out all sugar?

Putting the entire family on a sugar free regime is a bit much. The use of the word regime says is all.

Does your DH need or want to lose weight?!

There's nothing wrong with wanting to take care of yourself, but forcing your opinions and standards on every one else isn't on.

OP, just want to comment on the complete cutting out of sugar.

Have you researched sugar flu or keto flu?

Its a real thing, I suffered terribly with it and I wouldn't wish it on anyone else.

Cut down, don't just cut out.

If everyone is the family in in agreement with it, that is.

The sugar free thing is an attempt to help my DH lose weight and try and educate my children about how much sugar we are all eating-as a nation... how it is hidden in things.
Maybe that's controlling.

Best to cut down sugar slowly - I replaced sugary snacks with sugary fruit such as grapes then cut down on that slowly as well.

Btw you don't sound obsessed with appearances to me, just concerned about health.

It'll never work you have no control over what your family eat outside the house. Cutting something out entirely is not rational.

Cutting out sugar is a rubbish idea tbh. It's much better to cut down on something gradually then to cut it out completely. I think it is controlling tbh. Why should everyone suffer because your husband wants to drop a few pounds. Implementing diets on children is why so many adults have issues around food.

Can't believe how many people don't like that you're cutting out sugar for the family! Sugar is not a food group, it isn't good for you, no one needs sugar!!

You don't sound obsessed

I don't think you sound obsessed at all!
I have been cutting down on sugar, so eliminating biscuits, cakes etc, but still having fruit and honey. Maybe you could try that instead of cutting it altogether? Your diet will sadly be massively restricted if you eliminate all sugars and it's very hard to maintain something so restrictive.

Dont no it isn't a food group, but why cut it out completely? It's in so much that it would really impact their food choices, it's just another form of unhealthy controlled eating hidden in a 'I'm trying to be healthier' attitude. That's my opinion anyway.

Taking care of yourself implies care, exercise, grooming, good it, sleeping well, and being careful of your mental health.

Getting obsessed with looks means fretting you are not enough as you are, it implies a certain lack of confidence, worried about how others will judge you. You are preening for others approval, rather than for the benefit to yourself

I didn't mean you personally, I just meant as a juxtaposition!

Personally, you sound sensible rather than obsessed, and healthy not vain. Refined sugar (and all the derivatives) should be eaten in extreme moderation and cutting it down or out couldn't hurt. It occurs naturally in fruit where it brings valuable fibre, but juice intake should be limited too.

I think it’s a bit like the old joke that the definition of an alcoholic is anyone who drinks more than their doctor, so the definition of someone obsessed with appearance is someone who pays more time and attention to it than you do and someone is letting themselves go is someone who pays less attention than you.

You and your DSis sound fairly evenly matched but have different priorities, yours being internal and hers external. Your DSis is also paying time and attention to herself rather than other family members. There’s nothing wrong with either way, you just differ.

I eat sugar free (keto) and my two ds’s have just naturally wanted to follow. I didn’t impose a regime however I did talk about it and highlight the dangers of sugar.

They are vain competitive teens so they wanted to give it a go (spots, looks, sports performance)

They haven’t gone keto but their sugar consumption has gone down dramatically. Took them a year mind you

There's nothing controlling about cutting out excess sugar. No one needs cake and sugary crap; there's enough naturally occurring sugar in a normal healthy diet. I wish I had the will power to give it up myself. Your family will be better off in the long run, even though they will initially miss it. My dad did it and has lost loads of weight and reversed his type 2 diabetes, but obviously he went extremely low carb.
You sound like you have the right balance to me.
People who are obsessed with looks are the people who overspend on clothes/beauty treatments or get unnecessary cosmetic surgery.

You sound entirely rational and sensible. There's no reason whatsoever why you should be eating sugar, in fact you're better off without it. Better to deny sugar to DCs and keep them a healthy weight than to let them become overweight and suffer from aching joints far earlier than they should. (I've been there - due to my weight I had knee pain at 23. Twenty. Three. I shouldn't have even known what knee pain IS.)

Keep doing what you're doing. It'll do your family good.

Surely a sugar free regime and cutting out excess sugar aren't the same things? Also good luck if you can control what your children eat away from the home. I enjoy cake I don't have it very often. I exercise a lot and easily burn off calories. My son at 21 is the same. I follow the 80/20 principal and at 48 am a healthy weight. The peoplem we have in the UK is portion control and things which were considered treats are now part of some people's daily diet.