Can I avoid shaving my hair off?

[JuniperNarni]

Mega embarrassing...
I have really, really thick, course, curly hair. I normally wash it, brush it, leave it to dry, I don't brush it inbetween washes because the curls turn to frizz. Due to a mixture of poor mental health, tiredness and a very young baby I've just been throwing it up and ignoring it. It's been probably a week since I washed it at least (yes, i know, not pleasant).

Now I've come to wash it and realised the whole of the back of my hair has kind of dreadlocked itself into one huge knot. It's awful. I'm sat with a ton of conditioner on my head in the hope I can painfully brush the knots out. I'm not optimistic....

Are there any other things I can try if it fails before I shave my head.
Apologies if I've posted in the wrong place.

Are you starting at the ends to try and comb it out? With it being at the back of your head is there any chance you could enlist some help to unpick it? I really feel for you!

Start with a very wide toothed comb, and do the bottom 2 inches, then work your way up.

It can be done, with patience and time

Is there anyone who could help you?

That's my plan to work my way from the bottom up, I have a wide toothed plastic comb. I just don't see how it's going be possible.
I can ask other half to help. This is going to hurt a lot isn't it

Start at the very ends, as ShadyLady is saying, and work up in increments of about an inch. I only comb my hair through with conditioner about twice a week, as its too much wear and tear on it otherwise. Maybe give yourself a break in between if you're not in a hurry? Clip it up to make it easier to do sections?

Maybe some painkillers and give them time to kick in?

If all else fails, make an appointment with a hairdresser! They surely can sort something like that out.

Thanks for all the tips...
I've thought about contacting a hairdresser but I'm just so embarrassed about letting it get so bad.

It can be done. I have curly hair and my hair used to do this a lot when I was younger. It will be painful. I know people say to use a comb and gently do it. I'm the type who would just drag and large robust brush through it!

Hopefully you can get it sorted without cutting your hair. Personally, I've found the best way to deal with my hair when I CBA (happens a lot!) is when it's wet is to put it into either one or two braids. They tend to keep it out of the way, but not tangle my hair and I can still get a brush through my hair when I take it out.

You will be okay! It will require patience, maybe even hours, but tiny sections bit by bit !

It's only been a week, my hairdresser advises me to wash my hair once a week if possible due to colour in it so that time frame without a wash is not a big deal. If you can't work through it yourself by working from the bottom up slowly just call a hairdresser tomorrow and explain you've thick curly hair, due to small baby you didn't get time to brush and wash it during the week and now it's matted, I'm sure they won't bat an eye.

I took my mum to the hairdressers after this happened to her - washing her hair was too much during a bad period for her. The hairdresser was lovely, really understanding, managed to fix it more than I ever could have and gave my mum some tips on things to do if she couldn't brush or wash it so it stayed a bit more manageable. She didn't charge very much, either.

Go see someone before you shave it, just incase

Juniper, honestly hairdressers have seen it all. My hair was down to my knees as a teenager and I got a huge wodge of chewing gum stuck at the nape of my neck and the hairdressers happily sorted it out with a jar of peanut butter and it took far less time than I thought and I didn’t end up with a boy haircut lol.

If you can’t sort it out yourself, do call a hairdresser. I agree though in doing it in increments. 30 mins then have a break and tackle it again in an hour or two.

Have you got any coconut oil? That might help. With a dread lock as well as combing from the bottom up remember to separate out width wise as much and as often as you can do the tangle isn’t as tight. You might need a normal comb as well as a wide toothed one.

Could you get some Loreal Extraordinary Oil. I put that on before brushing when wet.

I had this happen when I was ill in bed for several days. Wash and condition it as normal then pin up all the non tangled hair. Put loads of conditioner on the tangle while it is still wet and start untangling with your fingers before you comb. Look in the mirror and try pulling some of the strands at the top while holding the tangle at the bottom to see if they are loose enough to slide through. or you can separate the tangle into smaller tangles. Then comb with a tangle teezer or wide toothed comb but keep going back to trying to separate with your fingers as it gets less tangled - it will hurt less and cause less damage. Also, hold the tangle at the top of the tangle while you comb so it is pulling from the point where you are holding it rather than pulling at the roots - much less painful!

Hairdresser won’t judge.

I once mistimed an appointment for straight after a couple of weeks wild camping. Not only was it unwashed and one giant dreadlock, it had bits of stick in it.

She got me a cup of tea and a biscuit and patiently untangled it. It looked amazing when it was done.

Also, depending on your style preference you could get a subtle .? A few mates with super thick hair have done this. Can’t be seen unless you pile your hair on the top of your head, but all of them say it’s made maintenance a doddle.

I've done the exact same thing in the past, and a tangle teezer made a huge difference. For me (and I'll bet for you) the enormous knot was more like a few small knots with loads of hair caught up around them, and it's just a case of turning on the radio and brushing a little bit at a time until your arm falls off you've gone through it all.

The same happened to me last year due to depression, the back was one huge clump.

I did managed to comb it out in small chunks over a period of weeks. It could be painful ripping large clumps apart to be able to comb it but it is possible.

Having said that I have very fine and straight hair so it might be harder with curls.

Agree with PP about washing conditioner out and tying non-tangled bit out of the way before going in with fingers.

Also try mixing up water and conditioner and spray it all over the tangled bit as you go.

Also: I've seen previous posters mention coconut oil - would avoid in this case only because it hardens at room temp and could start solidifying around the knots and make them more draggy. Use olive oil instead!

Ffs. That was meant to subtle undercut

One of DDs school friends had this problem when younger too. Refused hair brushing & the DM just let her. It became obvious this was also the source of frequent headlice outbreaks too, so I asked the DM if she wanted me to tackle untangling her hair.

A load of olive oil & a wide toothed comb & de tangling brush sorted it all out in a couple of hours

My hair is long and fine and I’ve had this when I’ve been really unwell and thrashed around in bed a lot combined with not washing it for a few days. I wondered if I might have to have it cut too 😳 but working it from the bottom, in sections, it came out easier than I thought it would. Be patient and you’ll be fine. If you’re feeling up to it, doing it in the shower helps too.

Good luck

I’d use conditioner and running water rather than oil. Oil would be a disaster on my hair and skin.

You need one of these!

www.wetbrush.com/

They work wonders! Use with the conditioner on to get the worst of it out and reduce the matted bit, then wide tooth comb for for the stubborn bits. Good luck

?

I did this a few months ago for a friend who was going trough a difficult patch and it was a slog but worth it!! You’ll feel so much better once it’s sorted, and if you can’t face it yourself then a good hairdresser won’t bat an eyelid.

We used various cheap conditioners, a massive Afro comb and a lot of patience (she had waist length hair) - but we got there in the end and so will you :)